One income family of four - can we get ahead even after pay cuts?

joedenise

My DD uses premium bonds for all her savings just so she can't get hold of them at a moment's notice but has to think "do I really need the money NOW?".  It definitely works for her with the added bonus of you might win a bit extra - which with interest rates as low as they are - is worth a try.

DH and I also buy premium bonds after all our pots are filled each month, our regular saver paid and enough money left for shopping, petrol, etc so not huge amounts (as we are pensioners) just £100 here and there but it all adds up.  The money in our pots currently earns 1.5% so worth leaving there (although is about to reduce again!); our regular saver 2.5% but that comes to an end soon so once they pays out we'll need to decide where we're going to put it.

Bluegreen143

Thanks everyone! Must look into premium bonds. Also going to open a help to save account as I think we qualify now on UC.

It’s official, this month is a disaster - we will definitely go over on our food budget too 😡 however at least that means a little less into savings, not going into debt. Will mitigate by being very good until payday then setting a realistic but firm budget for Dec. I know there will be Christmas but that’s budgeted for separately anyway.

Really stopped to look at myself properly in the mirror and I was horrified 😣 I weighed myself and let’s just say I have two stone to lose to get back into normal weight BMI. I’ve always as an adult hovered at the top of the normal weight category/been a size 10 but since I had Bambi I’ve been overweight. It all fell off me at 6 months post partum the first time round (with no conscious effort - in fact I struggled to keep weight on and was the slimmest I’ve ever been as an adult until I stopped breastfeeding Monkey). Guess I couldn’t be so lucky twice!

I know the end of November isn’t a traditional time to embark on a healthy kick but I don’t see the point in waiting til January. If I don’t do anything I could put on another 1/2 stone between now and New Years given all the extra temptation over Christmas. I’d rather tackle it now and then let myself mindfully have a few treats over the actual Christmas week rather than just write off starting because I know it’s coming.

Soooooo losing weight on a budget. I need to accept I’m not walking as much now the weather is bad and plan to do more yoga at home instead. I can add in a couple of times a week of more intensive exercise too. But most importantly - cut out sugary (and salty) snacks & drinks except for the odd weekend treat. I’ve just cut up a bunch of raw veg for the fridge to nibble on when I need a quick fix. I’m not looking to do anything drastic re things like our family meals - I’d rather diet in moderation but eating normal home cooked meals together and even the odd home cooked pudding. The real issue for me is snacking on crisps, chocolate, biscuits etc and constantly grazing between meals, so this is the bit I need to tackle.

Its a MSE issue for sure as I’ve been in size 12 clothes and they are getting tight and I CANNOT afford to buy new 😂😂😂 so wish me luck.

joedenise

You are at the same point as I was when I decided I needed to lose some weight - size 12 going on 14 and I'm only 5' 1" tall!  I wasn't actually even in the Overweight BMI, I was just on 25 which is the top end of normal but it was definitely too much weight for my small frame.  That was just over 10 years ago and I decided to join Slimming World, I'm still doing it as a Target member but for me it was worth the money to get to where I wanted to be.  By sticking with it I lost the weight (just under 2 stone) to get back to middle of BMI and have stayed there.  I started in the mid July and had lost most of the weight before Christmas.

What I particularly like about the plan is you still eat the same meals with just a few tweaks, like using spray oil instead of pouring it; cutting back on sweet stuff, although you can use your Syns for some if you want to.  Our meals are still mainly the same as we were eating before - in fact we probably eat more that we used to.  It might we worth seeing if you can get hold of some old books, perhaps from the library, the bay of E or Ama*on or even have a look at the Slimming World blog (https://www.slimmingworld.co.uk/blog); for recipe ideas try www.slimmingeats.com or www.pinchofnom.com - both of which have loads of SW friendly recipes.

Bluegreen143

Thanks so much for the encouragement @joedenise. Will look up the healthy recipe websites you mentioned. In general our dinners are good but I’ve definitely developed a tendency to “eat my feelings” which became very pronounced in the spring lockdown (ie dealing with anxieties through eating chocolate). And of course my sweet tooth had massively expanded because of all the sugar exposure so it’s stayed as a bad habit. I don’t mind having the odd bit of home baking but it’s getting to the point that I feel I NEED biscuits or chocolate or cake to make it through the afternoon (and then am grazing on more through the evening). I’ve bagged up the sweets and crisps we have in the house (not a lot to be fair) and am going to ask Red to keep them in his work van unless he wants me to chuck them out while I rediscover my willpower! I can’t stop buying them altogether (though I can reduce) as he insists on eating crisps every day but at least I can keep them out of my reach, and tbh having to go to the van to get them will probably make him eat less in the evening too which is no bad thing 😂

Took Bambi for a quick walk in the children’s wood this morning. Quick because after 15 minutes she started crying to go home 🤦‍♀️ She did enjoy splashing in puddles initially. This is why I’m struggling to do walks right now as it happens every time. It’s so annoying as she loved the outdoors earlier in the year so I think she must be cold. But I am layering her up in a warm coat, lined waterproof overalls, hat and gloves so I would have thought she would be warm enough 🤷‍♀️ 

Sarahwithlove

I'm the same this year has led to a major sweet tooth and weight gain it's very frustrating. I find best thing to do is to not have it in the house like you are doing. Takes a few days to adjust but it gets easier. 

joedenise

Definitely a good idea to get Red to keep the crisps, sweets, chocolate in his work van so you have to make an effort to get them.  Plain popcorn (the sort you pop yourself isn't too bad and I find that I only need a little bit to stop the grazing), I've actually just popped myself some and put into a tub to graze on this evening whilst watching TV - I've weighed out 25g which is 5 SW Syns so it still leaves me with plenty for other things I want.

Also if I want chocolate I find that if I buy the very dark chocolate (Lidl's or Aldi's own) then I only need a couple of squares to satisfy the chocolate craving.  As @Sarahwithlove says it does get easier.

Good luck with the healthy eating and hopefully it will help you lose weight.

Bluegreen143

Ooops, I’ve not updated for a little while again. I’ve been having a “low media” week as I’ve deleted my Facebook/Instagram accounts and have been consciously trying to spend less time on my phone. It’s been brilliant - I realised I get very little value from Facebook yet it’s a big time suck. This week, since I’ve not been online much, I’ve done loads of knitting, been really on top of housework, baked bread most days, read half a book etc. I don’t miss it at all and have been making more effort to contact friends and family directly instead of being lazy and communicating via social media. I do want to keep up with MSE though so I think I will set times during the week to come on here and do an update and check in on threads I follow.

Lots of ongoing discussions here about finances etc have lead to me redoing the budget a bit. Red is feeling overly stretched and wants more spending (frittering) money now we have paid off the debts. He thinks it’s a good idea to save a bit but doesn’t want to really stretch ourselves to save or to overpay the mortgage right now as he thinks this is the lowest our income will be so we should just be happy to be getting by with no debt + making emergency savings - he’d rather wait til the kids are in school and I can get a part time job and then use money from that to overpay the mortgage. I’m a bit disappointed as he’s been making real progress with frugality and I was all fired up to really  work hard next year to save a lot. But obviously we need to meet in the middle here. Another contentious point was he’s not willing to cut back on the Christmas/birthdays budget anymore so again I need to work with him here. Buying gifts for his family etc makes him happy so who am I to take that from him (even if I think it’s a bit materialistic and the money could be better deployed elsewhere in the budget).

We’ve sat down and redone the budget together and I was slightly sneaky as I’ve managed to do it so he has a bit more to spend but actually we aren’t saving that much less every month than we have been cos I put home & car maintenance as a bill rather than include it in the savings figure 😆 this is based on a £2,000 minimum income but often it’s a bit more, it was £2,201 including UC this month. 

BILLS £965
Home £715 mortgage, insurances, council tax, utilities
Car £50 insurance, tax, breakdown cover 
Home & car maintenance £50
Education & childcare £25 nursery school fund 
Entertainment/luxury £125 phone bills, internet, TV etc

SAVINGS £200
** building up E-fund and new car fund first then look at some mortgage OP **

HOUSEKEEPING £400
Food, petrol, household consumables, kids clothes, misc

GIFTS/FESTIVITIES/HOLIDAY £180
Unless I can get Red to cut down on gifts we won’t actually be able to afford a holiday as the £180 will just cover Christmas and birthdays! But if I earn any extra or make savings over Christmas I will put some in here for that.

So the plan is that after all those things are paid for, Red is going to keep what’s left of the £2k for spending and his wants, which I think is pretty generous (he will half in if we do family stuff like outings)... I’m going to keep the child benefit for myself for doing any fun bits with the kids in the week or anything I want/need for myself, and save the rest as I’ll never spend that much. I can use savings from here for mortgage overpaying too as it’s “extra” to our main savings. I can also save whatever is left from the housekeeping each month if I bring it under budget. 

We’ve agreed that whenever we get more than £2k in a month through overtime, cashback etc we will split that - I’ve encouraged Red to open his own savings account so he can start saving up for projects on months he gets more in - we’ll see if that actually happens! 

Bluegreen143

Oh re healthy eating. I weighed in and started on Sunday. Not eaten any rubbish all week, minus one mince pie yesterday (but I had that in lieu of a planned snack anyway). And I’ve managed to do some walking and even a bodyweight workout which left me very stiff - I definitely need to work on my fitness levels! Going to try to do yoga or bodyweight stuff three times a week. So hoping when I weigh in tomorrow I’ve managed to lose something! 

joedenise

Good to see you updating your diary.  It's a shame Red isn't on the same page as you with the overpaying the mortgage but at least you have plans to try and still do some.

Good luck for your weigh in tomorrow, sounds as though you should have a good loss if the only junk you've had is a mince pie!

Sarahwithlove

Im glad you have put the car as a bill. I can understand why he wants his own spends but sounds like he is spending a lot. I wonder how he would actually cope if he had to live on his own with just his wage and pay all the bills himself? I have a lot of respect for you for putting up with it. Don't know if I could. But a compromise is a good place to start and maybe when he sees how much difference saving makes to your life's he might be more inclined to do so himself.