Children won’t go to sleep!!

cheeky-peach

rach_k said:

The only toys allowed in our kids' bedroom at that age were soft toys and books so nothing too stimulating.  

I would go back to putting the younger one to bed first - maybe half an hour apart as they're close in age.  Our routine was always no screens for an hour before bed, a bath and half an hour of reading/storytime before sleep time (your oldest could do that on the sofa or in your bed).  Then just be strict about it! 

We've always been clear that they don't have to go to sleep but they do have to lie quietly in bed.  If they get up for no reason or start messing around, give logical consequences they can understand e.g. if they get up, they need to make up their sleep time the next night so will be put to bed 15 mins earlier for each time they get up... and then do it!  If they have a particularly bad night, it's fair and logical that you'll be too tired to do something fun the next day.  They're old enough to understand that their actions have consequences if you make the consequences real (rather than something unrelated). 

Don't let them have lie-ins the next day, no matter how late they stayed up - if they're tired, they can go to bed early.  If they just aren't getting it, bring your book and sit outside their door and tell them to behave as soon as they start messing around.  The more you let them mess around, the less seriously they'll take you.  Perhaps also have a grown-up chat with your oldest - she might respond positively to being asked to be a good role model.  

That all makes me sound like a dragon but I don't think I am really!  We are strict about sleep but the kids are much better for it and we're respectful about it.

Oh one more thing, on Fridays our kids can stay up as late as they like.  After the first few weeks of staying up past midnight, the novelty wore off and they started taking themselves off to bed at a more reasonable hour.  Giving them control over that one night definitely helped with the other nights... especially if they might lose their Friday night if they needed to catch up on missed sleep.

I second this. I would also ensure that they are not "rewarded" with conversation / interaction from yourself after the first time they are firmly told that it's time for bed. 

Grandmama

I am now 73. My parents had this problem with me when little so decided to let me get on with it. Soon cured me in a few days, as when  I woke up at lunchtime the next day I realised I had missed my school friends, had missed playtimes, and missed breakfast. I still remember the embarrassment!!!!