Babys surname - legally where do we stand?

mountainofdebt

My SIL had my nephew before she got married and I think that she had to be present when the birth was registered if she wanted the father's details on the birth certificate......when our son was born hubby could register it without be being there.


Friends have been married and gone on to have children but she kept her maiden name (for professional reasons) and the children have taken the father's surname.

As for being illegitimate, yes the baby would be illegititmate before you got married but once you got married to the father, she would be seen in the eyes of the law as having the same rights as children born to married parents.

johanne

thanks everyone. I just was not sure the legal side of things. My partner is fine with the double barrelled and "known as" that my family want me to use, so maybe that might be the best way of doing it?

And i suppose i can see my parents point that if anything was to break down in the relationship baby can use my surname "known as" without too much faffing when shes old enough to make the choice if she has a double barrelled name.

I just felt a little i dont know uncomfortable with the whole situation. I guess i just wish wed managed to get married first then we wouldnt have this problem!!! Specially as marriage was the first thing his very strict traditional catholic mother asked about when we told her we were expecting and as im neither catholic nor close to walking down the aisle with him (financial issues) i been made to feel like im a bad person in his mothers eyes (by her not him! He doesnt care what she thinks!) But guess i better get used to this, Put up with it for the last 2 years and isnt it tradition not to get on with your mother in law?? lol

Kimberley

I wouldn't have given my kids their dads surnames, they have my name and always will have even if I married in the future because I would keep my name as well.

hev_2

AFAIK you can put any surname down, without affecting anyone's legal rights if your partner's name is on birth certificate.

You could be called Smith, your partner could be called Jones and little one called Brown.

Your legal rights are not affected no matter whose surname the little one is given. Nothing to do with surname and all to do with the fact that you are the mum.

Sorry if this is rocking the boat, but are your parents unhappy about your partner?

If I am rocking the boat - ignore me. It is just that there is nothing so complicated as people.

Good luck and enjoy your baby.

hobo28

johanne wrote: »

HOWEVER i have been told now that it may cause problems for us in the future and that if she and I dont have the same name and it may affect my legal rights as her mum?!! Is this true?

Totally and utterly untrue. You will be the baby's mother and you could call the baby anything you please. Nothing will affect your legal rights short of social services declaring you an incompetant parent and taking her into care!

As others have said, your partner will have parental responsibility as long as his name is entered on the birth certificate.

My suggestion is to ignore what others say and make a decision between you and your OH. Its your baby.

Curious_George_2

this is going to sound delightful until i explain! but my 2 children have different surnames to each other AND me,
i was with DDs dad for 10 years but we never married, she has his surname... and ive never even considered changing her name to mine just because we have now split... she is still his!
and ive been with DSs dad for about 3 years so far and we plan to get married some day, but it was never an issue that DS would have my name... he was always going to take his fathers name,

the only parental rights issue i can think of is that if your not married and you want your partner named on the birth certificate, he has to be there when you register

johanne

hev wrote: »

Sorry if this is rocking the boat, but are your parents unhappy about your partner?

If I am rocking the boat - ignore me. It is just that there is nothing so complicated as people.

They seem happy with him, know my dad thinks hes a great bloke and doesnt have an issue with him. Mum says she likes him and doesnt have a problem with him. But shes very protective of me (moved out 4 years ago and still get 10 phone calls a day every day! :rolleyes: ) and shes also very cynical about men and thinks they are "all a**holes" So always expects the worse - so maybe its just her being funny as no man is ever good enough for me!

There have been a few problems between me and OH in the past mainly over money, as he has a large amount of debt and has been ignoring it for way too long...!!! I think my parents are a bit worried about this maybe..... But hes taking all the right steps now as having baby on the way has given him the kick up the backside he needed!! And i personally have all the confidence in the world he'll be a great dad, just cos he can be an idiot over money sometimes doesnt make him a bad dad!!

I keep trying to tell them I couldnt ask for a better qualified dad anyway as hes a qualified experianced nursery nurse! :eek: :rotfl: He knows more about babies and children than i do!! Hes even delivered a friends baby in the middle of nowhere in the french countryside!!! So im ok if i go into labour somewhere bizarre.. we have that base covered! :rotfl:

hev_2

"If I am rocking the boat - ignore me. It is just that there is nothing so complicated as people."

Sorry, it looks like I was out of order and I apologise.

You sound like you are happy together and I am sure you will have fun with the baby. Mine is just 11 months now and I love him to bits.

Really, what the baby is called doesn't matter as long as they are loved, and I think you will do a brilliant job.

I called the run up to the birth the 'dreaming time' because I could dream about the future. I hope everything goes well for you.

Good luck

FriendlyJ

Hiya johanne
Not read all the other posts so I might be telling you something you already know - One of the post is not technically correct when they state that even if you marry the father at a later date the child will be still be illegitimate. This is not true, once you have legally married babies father you can have the child re-registered. The re-registration will make the baby a child of your marriage. there is no time limit for this & some people have had this done years after they married each other.
If you are adding the father when you register you do need to bear in mind that the law changed in 2003 & now when you both sign the register you now get equal parental responsibility. If you give the baby dad's name it can only be changed later in exceptional circumstances (so that name will always be on the birth certificate)
J

geekgirl

I had 2 children with my husband and they were given the same surname as us. Then I was divorced and got together with my OH and six years later had youngest child. I gave him the same surname as me and his siblings as I felt it would make everything easier if they all had the same name. My OH has never had a problem with it and my youngest (who is now 16) has never had a problem with it and we have never had any problems along the way apart from my Mum who thought it was outrageous that he wouldn't be able to carry on his dads family name.

Some people do presume because he has a different name than his Dad that his Dad is Stepdad.