Overhaul of the way I deal with food

littlegreenparrot

We work on the same principle as PipneyJane, which was how my mum worked. 
The rule was you didn't complain, if you didn't want to eat it you could have a cheese sandwich or toast, but you do that yourself and don't whinge. 
I would definitely start to get the children more involved, both in planning and cooking. Teach them how to make their favourites for everyone. They need to start appreciating that you do not run a cafe. 

Islandmaid

When my kids where going through fussy stages (when aren’t they) I would do things like a big pot of chilli, some rice, nachos, salad, grated cheese, salad, garlic bread etc in bowls on the Table and they had what they wanted, leftovers were either for work lunches, or over jacket potatoes, for another lighter meal in the week, ditto curries, main curry, naan bread, onion bhaji , rice, pickles etc help yourself,  or a couple of different pizza’s, potato wedges, salad, coleslaw etc - the only meal I would insist on all being present, was Sunday roast, otherwise say, if eldest had footie practice, he’d eat from leftovers when he got in, for example - the one main rule was not phones at the table, not ever x

lasagne, shepherds pie, stews, paella’s, all good family meals to let them dig into x

Wraithlady

GeorgieLou said:

OK, so much decent advice on here, I just wanted to say thank you all again.

I do have a question about the meals - those of you who all sit down and have one meal for all, how does that work in your household?

As there's only me & OH in our household, we each know what the other doesn't eat - he doesn't feed me dairy, I don't cook him cauliflower. One of us cooks, and we try to make the meals ready by around 8 at the latest, sometimes I batch-cook and the extra is frozen and labelled.

As regards the meals themselves, we have a list, it's not set in stone, but if we're having, say, beef stir-fry, I know to get the beef out of the freezer. And, if I forget, or I don't fancy beef, or we have something which needs using up, I look for the next option I fancy. 

My mother never let me get away with turning my nose up at things without trying them - I was allowed to not like them, but only if I had tried them at least once. You say that (apart from your eldest) your kids might like to have a (supervised) go in the kitchen - especially the one who is secondary-school age, I was making cakes and biscuits and simple meals at around that age. Everybody has to learn sometime (even your eldest, unless they want to survive on takeaways and ready meals!) and the younger the better.

Good luck!

joedenise

Same as others on here.  You eat what I cook or have some toast or a sandwich which you make yourself.  It's easier the younger the children are when you start this of course.

Definitely get them all involved in meal planning and helping with the cooking.  My eldest was a bit like yours not interested in cooking but when you point out that once they move out they'll need to cook for themselves or starve they'll soon learn, even if it is after they leave home, lol!

Aliliva

GeorgieLou said:

Aliliva - What kind of big meals do you make, and what stems from them please? That is a genius idea, and help so much! 

They are all sort of easy to re-heat meals: pasta bake, lasagne, curries, chilli.
For example, yesterday I made a korma - well, two kormas, one with real chicken one with fake one - we had a bit for dinner, and froze enough for three other meals. At the same time I made some pasta salad for today: cook and chill the pasta, add a pot of ready pesto and some tomatoes, then anyone can add whatever they prefer to this base (ready cooked meat, mozzarella or other cheese, other veggies, olives) - and it keeps well for a couple of days.
To add a bit of variety, we get a recipe service box (SimplyCook - but I guess any would do) and just double up their recommended ingredients, so that we can eat one portion each and freeze two - in your case you could just do one for the whole family. Given that you can pick the recipes you receive, you can ask your kids to choose one each - everyone then has to try it and score it, if the majority likes it you prepare it again, otherwise next time you'll order something else. In a few months you should get a good stock of recipes everyone likes but that are a bit more exciting than mac&cheese


I GeorgieLou said:

I do have a question about the meals - those of you who all sit down and have one meal for all, how does that work in your household?

It's just me and OH at the moment, and we decide together what we eat when we meal-plan. It's not hard to find a compromise and tweak the menu a bit so that he gets his meat, I get my cheese and qorn, and everyone is happy
But our attitude to food is a bit more traditional than a lot of our friends: both of us grew up in families where either you ate what was on the table (and at dinnertime, not any time) or you could skip dinner it sounds harsh, but skipping a meal won't harm any well fed kid - and anyway, I think I attempted once to skip the meal. Your kids sound a bit older than I was when this happened tho, so I guess you could go down the "eat it or cook something else yourself and then clean up your mess" route - less harsh, more empowering.

MovingForwards

I'm also of the 'generation' where it was 'this or nothing'. My mom was a single parent on benefits trying to pay the mortgage / keep a roof over our heads and preventing threats of repossession (that's a story for another day!)

The flexibility was do any of want mash or boiled potatoes, as having boiled spuds meant they were put on my plate and covered while the rest were mashed. Beans or none. Mushy peas or none. Orange squash or water you get the idea.

By giving choice to everyone, all its doing is turning you into a restaurant cook but without the pay and benefits. Now is the perfect time to change and carry that new change on.

As others have said, get them helping to prep / cook and avoid the future problems of them leaving the family home and not knowing how to cook.

117pauline

Hi
A bit like everyone else, I reckon menu planning becomes easier the longer you do it. If the idea is a whole week overwhelms you so you do nothing, just do a couple of days.

Knowledge is Power

You know you are wasting money and food AND you want it to change. So I would suggest keeping a record of what you spend for a couple of months and when. Do you overspend when you are hungry,  tired, feeling stressed or even resentful?  More difficult now of course but it will get easier, we promise.

• Set a timer for 15 minutes and see what can be achieved. When I am poorly, I just do things in the advert breaks.

• A complete list of everything you have is vital because otherwise you will continue to over-buy and waste more. To break this vicious circle, get everyone involved.  One to empty and sort fridge, one to write list with use by dates. Your idea of a Tupperware box is great. Then move on to cupboards and freezer.

• From now on, keep a list of what you throw out.  This makes you more aware the types of food you over-buy. Is it the same each week or does it change due to special offers etc.

• Get everyone to come up with a list of meals they like.  Then you might be able to eat similar meals together.
• Personally, if there are ingredients you think you will never use, get rid!  Because they will niggle at you.

Lastly, if you didn't menu plan, how did you decide what to eat?
Good luck
Pauline

117pauline

As an aside, I had a pang of conscience having written the above post
I am moving tomorrow and as of an hour ago, not one thing packed. Honestly, nothing.
So I took my own words of wisdom and have now emptied the kitchen cupboards and listed it all down. You see it can be done

suki1964

GeorgieLou said:

OK, so much decent advice on here, I just wanted to say thank you all again.

I do have a question about the meals - those of you who all sit down and have one meal for all, how does that work in your household?

I have to admit that I only had my husbands children for holidays when they were very small ( 3&4) but both took times to come live with us as they became teenagers

Im of the generations which was given the choice of eating what was put in front of you, or sent to bed crying. So for me it was a real steep learning curve, esp as they were being given free reign whilst at home, didn't want what was served up, they went and raided the biscuits and crisps or got the money for the chippy

So whilst they were that young, and it was just for a few weeks at a time, I went the easy route, served up the fishfingers, the nuggets and the burgers for all of us, and served salads and veggies as separate dishes on the table so we adults ate as well as we could, and the kids might take a bit of cucumber or a spoon of sweetcorn. I never pushed them.

Slowly I introduced foods they hadn't tried before, so if I knew they would eat mince and potatoes, id make spaghetti Bol for me and their dad and let them try it

His daughter was a nightmare in her teens and living with us. I remember her mum ringing me and giving off that I had given her cauliflower and asked her to eat it. It was one floret on her chicken dinner. It was the only thing on her plate she had refused to even try before lol. We got there eventually, expanding their taste buds, encouraging them to try things cooked differently - stir fried veg, raw veggies etc. Best successes were always putting everything in bowls so they could serve themselves and making sure there was something on the table they were happy to eat

But the consistant rule was we all came to the table to eat and the tv was switched off ( before mobile phones, they are also banned now ) and we all sat at the table until we were all finished eating

PipneyJane

117pauline said:

As an aside, I had a pang of conscience having written the above post
I am moving tomorrow and as of an hour ago, not one thing packed. Honestly, nothing.
So I took my own words of wisdom and have now emptied the kitchen cupboards and listed it all down. You see it can be done

Good luck with the move, @1@117pauline.

- Pip