Third Time’s The Charm

Narola1976

An early start to the day, nothing better than a coffee and pure silence. I use the time to check emails, the bank and update the budget.

So, only a small bill has gone out today, a tenner for daughter’s phone insurance. Not many more bills to be paid as most are set for the beginning of the month. I do have to pay road tax but need to wait for the DVLA to show my MOT has been extended before I can pay apparently. So tomorrow I think. I am only paying for 6 month as OH insists we look at getting a new car. This car is only 3 years old but its been a pain to own. Just the other day the clutch went, and thank goodness I was just within the warranty, so was able to get it repaired. Now I know the car is rubbish, one of my impulse purchases that I have deeply regretted, but I still owe 2 years finance on it, and to be honest I have no idea how to buy a new car when I still have finance left on the current. My plan was to pay this car off, drive it for a few years and build a new deposit for my last nearly new car which I then intend to drive until it falls to bits. Rinse and repeat. Having read all the advice on here, I have learned that it is stupid to buy a brand new car which is what I have done for the last 15 years or so. I also do not think I would get the finance given my financial state, and this worries me. Well what worries me is OH finding out if I get rejected. I would fail purely on affordability as despite all the debt, I have not missed any payments on any of my debt and my credit files are clean in that sense. It’s credit utilisation that is the issue.  I will just have to cross that bridge when I get there.

So plans for the day are:
* work, of course
* keep the kitchen clean - the rest of the house is a mess but I managed  the kitchen this weekend, so want to keep on top of it.
* spend an hour on my online Excel course
spend 30 minutes on my free online intro to bookkeeping course 
*cook something for supper, what I do not yet know.

TTFN

DancingInTheRain

I'm also a fan of a quiet, early start to the day checking account balances with a coffee in hand 😊
Wishing you well on your debt free journey, you can do it 💪

Mahsroh

Good luck with your journey. 

I agree that balance transfers aren’t necessarily the answer. Of course if you can go from high interest to no interest, then it’s worth doing, but I think it’s also very easy to say “oh the 0% offer expires in 3months but I can transfer it to another card” and that just delays the inevitable and takes away your responsibility to actually get it paid off sooner rather than later. 

Moneywhizz

Here is an opportunity for you to take a stand and say to your husband that if he wants a new car he can finance it himself. Your plan about keeping it and saving up for another car is definitely the way to go and continually taking out finance for a new car that depreciates as soon as you drive it out of the garage is probably part of the reason you have so much debt. Buying a new car is fine if you have the cash up front to do so, and that is how you wish to spend your money but while you are trying to reduce debt it is the last thing you need. Is your car currently paid for only by you or do you both contribute to it?  In any case, your husband has no right to insist on buying another car if it depends on you contributing. You simply need to say to him that you don't wish to take on any more debt. He has no right to question you further on the reasons why. I feel angry on your behalf! Probably because of how it brings back memories of me being forced into more and more debt when I didn't want to be. Please don't allow that to happen to you. 

Narola1976

Mahsroh said:

Good luck with your journey. 

I agree that balance transfers aren’t necessarily the answer. Of course if you can go from high interest to no interest, then it’s worth doing, but I think it’s also very easy to say “oh the 0% offer expires in 3months but I can transfer it to another card” and that just delays the inevitable and takes away your responsibility to actually get it paid off sooner rather than later. 

Thanks Mahsroh for your good wishes. I think BT’s are great if you do your best to make big dents on the balance. I did not do this and that’s why I am in the mess I am, plus I never learned not to make more debt. So, for now I will just plod on. One foot in front of the other. It helps that there are no BT offers now anyway. 

Narola1976

Moneywhizz said:

Here is an opportunity for you to take a stand and say to your husband that if he wants a new car he can finance it himself. Your plan about keeping it and saving up for another car is definitely the way to go and continually taking out finance for a new car that depreciates as soon as you drive it out of the garage is probably part of the reason you have so much debt. Buying a new car is fine if you have the cash up front to do so, and that is how you wish to spend your money but while you are trying to reduce debt it is the last thing you need. Is your car currently paid for only by you or do you both contribute to it?  In any case, your husband has no right to insist on buying another car if it depends on you contributing. You simply need to say to him that you don't wish to take on any more debt. He has no right to question you further on the reasons why. I feel angry on your behalf! Probably because of how it brings back memories of me being forced into more and more debt when I didn't want to be. Please don't allow that to happen to you. 

Thanks Moneywhizz, great name  

I pay for the car by myself. He has his own car which he bought brand new and paid it off over a couple of years interest free of course. But my car is the one that gets used most, he puts the fuel in, which is fair as he uses it a lot. I don’t know how to get it through his head that a new car is a bad idea, and while I think the car is not brilliant, its not enough to change it. But as it needs new tyres and will be coming up for a service he thinks better just get a new car than waste money on what he feels is not a good car. I wish I was stronger. It’s just so hard to have this argument. He has said he will contribute but I just don’t want to start from scratch again. The car I have has great features and any new car has to have the same, which means the car won’t be cheap, so no matter even if by some miracle I get finance, I do not want to start a 4 or 5 year finance agreement. I will do my best to insist that unless I can get finance no more than the 2 years, and pay similar to what I am paying now, with his help, I am not intending to buy a new car. Thanks for your concern, it really means a lot. 

Moneywhizz

It is so easy for us to look at your situation and say do this or that, when we are not the ones actually living it. For someone who leaves you to pay all the bills and contributes nothing to your household, it beggars belief that your husband thinks he has any right to insist on anything you decide to do regarding your finances. Personally I would just say there is no discussion about this. Just explain that you have decided not to take on any more debt so a new car is out of the question. There shouldn't be any argument. If he doesn't like your car, he can use his own car. I am sorry to be so blunt but it sounds like he is manipulating you and bullying you into doing things you do not want to do that will add to your debt and your stress. Again I absolutely understand that it is easy to say these things when we only know a little bit about the situation but I hope you can find a way to take a stand and be stronger in the future. 

Narola1976

Thanks Moneywhizz, I will certainly try. 

Nothing much to report on the finance front. Tomorrow I’ve a small $2.83 Quidco payment coming in, which will go straight to the birthday fund. Sorry this silly Bluetooth keyboard doesn’t seem to have a Pound sign and the keyboard on the iPad has disappeared!

Yesterday I decided to cancel my Kindle Unlimited which is $7.99 per month. I do read a lot but decided I needed to save the money more. As the payment has not long left my account, I still have until 14th June to read books. But as soon as I tried to cancel, they offered me 3 months at 99p per month. So I decided to accept this offer, knowing I will still cancel once it goes back to $7.99. However, when I checked my bank, I can see there is a 99p difference between my current and available balance. So as I know I did not buy anything for 99p, I have concluded that Ama*on intend to take this 99p now. So I am just waiting to see if this is the case and if so, boy will they know about it. I only paid last week, and my payment is valid until 14/6 so no way am I paying again. 

So I a did a thing yesterday. I decided to create a fake “Debt Free Budget” on YNAB just to see what my finances would look like were I to have no debt. It was a sweet pain. There was just so much money to allocate. I would get to the end of the budget, and there would still be money left to allocate so I would just keep topping up the categories! It was so shocking to see it there in black and white. Made my heart sore as well to know just how badly I have messed up. It gave me a glimpse into the future though , of what my life could look like financially at least.  I am just so sad that it won’t be real for another 5 years...

Plans for the day are limited. I have low energy and motivation combined with a lack of discipline makes for not a productive person. I am always in awe when I read some of the diaries on here how productive people are, and I am envious I am not the same. Obviously have to get through the work day, which should be quiet until tomorrow.  And try to do at least 30 minutes on my online excel and bookkeeping course. Doing a small pork roast, mash and veggies for supper today, so not too taxing as I am not a very good cook. 

Well that’s it for now. Off to make some breakfast and enjoy the peace some more while everyone is still asleep! Oh no, just heard stirring upstairs.  Bother

CreditCardJunkie

Hey Narola, I love the idea of a debt free budget, I'm going to do this later! 
Regarding the car, sorry to hear its been a pain. I had a 4 year lease which ended last August. I calculated over the 4 years I paid almost 10k. I couldn't afford the 4k outstanding and I can't describe how gutted I was to see the car being driven away and having absolutely nothing to show for the 10k id spent. I bought a very old run around while I was on maternity (paid £1200 and took another £600 to get through MOT). It isn't fancy, it doesn't look socially acceptable but do you know what, I actually own it. And I'm not afraid to park it at the supermarket 😂 the £200 a month I've saved on car finance is amazing, something I couldn't have afforded on maternity anyway but will make such a difference when I'm back to work. Yeah id love a new car, but I can't afford it. My plan is to save (for probably a really long time) and buy something a litte bit nicer and a little bit newer. 

enthusiasticsaver

This is not a relationship forum so I won't comment on the relationship with your husband which is obviously a source of resentment understandably.
All you can do is get your own finances under control and focus on saying no to things your husband wants you to get but you to pay for. The new car to start with. He can't insist if it is your money paying for it. 

Have you done an soa as that is the first thing? You will have to ignore your husbands income but my first task would be to cancel direct debits for everything he wants you to have but expects you to pay for. Cut outgoings to the minimum and start to build some emergency savings, overpay the debt and build in some entertainment money for yourself and a car maintenance pot. Are you paying interest on the debt?