Third Time’s The Charm

Narola1976

Hello everyone. It has been a busy day today.  I was up at 6am having gone to bed just after 9pm. Had a lovely cuppa in the quiet, fried some bacon for breakfast, and had a lovely bacon and egg sandwich for breakfast. I had the hairdresser at 9am just or a wash and blow. I won’t bore you with hair woes no thanks to the peri menopause.  When I got home everyone was up and DD and I made a start on cleaning as the boiler man is attending tomorrow. It’s always good when I am forced to clean LOL, as the desire is never present otherwise DD did the lounge and I did the dining room and kitchen. It’s nice to see the main areas tidy again. Then DD decided as it was nice and clean, it was the right time to decorate for Halloween. First time we have ever decorated for Halloween. It’s not really my thing but she was so keen, and bought a few decorations from the £ shop. I did suggest it was rather early for Halloween seeing as there is more than a month to go, but she stated that this way she gets to enjoy it for more than a few days. She knows I will be itching to get them down  soon after the event, as I do this for Christmas. I put my Christmas decorations up at the start of December as I enjoy the anticipation of Christmas but by the 27th I want them down to clean for the New Year. So I guess she is only doing what I taught her.  Oh well, I shall indulge her this year since I never have before, who knows what it will be like next year as she is likely to be at uni, if all goes well. Of course, the problem is that she has this annoying little crow that squeaks every time you pass it, plus a mat that has this horrendous witches laugh. I do not know how I will cope with that racket for the next month LOL. 

I still have the bathroom to do, but that is a job for early tomorrow morning. It’s not too bad, so hopefully shouldn’t take too long. I also have a few baskets of washing to pack away, but after that I intend not to do to much more for the day. I need to enjoy some of my weekend being horizontal! I will get the lunch sorted early, it’s a small roast half leg of lamb, with roast potatoes and veggies.  Hopefully there will be sufficient for 2 meals, we shall see. 

OH has gone out to collect a set of shelves someone is giving away as I need it for the utility room. The one I have has broken to pieces, it was dodgy to begin with and not very strong. Hopefully the “new one” will be up to the task. I was pleased to have made £5 from a facebook sale today.  I have a few odds and sods to sell, but its not great stuff so may not generate any interest. Will have to see. Money is tight for people right now so the timing may not be right anyway.  

Looking forward to payday in 4 days, every payday brings me closer to my DFD. 

I am off for a quick shower, early dinner, and I shall be hopping into the bed. Another 9pm bedtime, for hopefully another early start.  Have a good evening.

Parkyp

Hi, just started reading your diary. You are doing great you’re defo not going off track this time around. I Had to start a dmp last September as I was constantly doing bt between credit cards and then all of a sudden as they classed me as a persistent debtor they stopped offering them and I was seriously struggling to pay them with the added interest. So I bit the bullet and went to StepChange they were great my dfd is 2025 the same year as my mortgage is paid off. I will be 49 and determined I will not have debt again, if I want something I will have savings for it. I bank with starling and I like the saving goals. I hear a lot of people talking about ynab but I’ve never tried it. 

Ps your daughter sounds very sensible with her finances you’ve taught her well x

Narola1976

Thanks for coming along to read @Parkyp. Really great that you were able to get help with StepChange. I think it is really great when we have a clear DFD - we have clarity on what it will take to be free and we know when it will happen. Like you, my intention is never to get into debt again. I think Starling is great for savings goals and I use them. But YNAB is truly revolutionary. To be honest, the true value of YNAB is in the 4 rules of budgeting and it could be done without the software (it would take some effort), but the software makes it effortless in my view and helps not to get confused and it keeps you focused and aware. They do offer a 34 day free trial no obligation. They have lots of videos and classes to help you get to grips with it. I appreciate there is a fee, but in my view it is worth it for me. I know exactly what bill is coming up when, I know what has been paid and not, and if I need to track a payment, it’s a lot easier to check in YNAB than trawl through bank statements. hey also have goals features which really helps you as well.You can get a goal in a number of ways depending of your needs. There is a UK Facebook group as well.  Enough of that, I am a true YNAB convert and I will keep yakking about it if I don’t stop myself

Happy days, its pay day today and for the next 24 hours I am rich!! That is until the DD’s start going out tomorrow of course  I am really tightening the grocery belt this month - last month was horrendous, and I really had a blow out. This month, we are observing austerity measures. If other people can do it so can I. I am hoping of course that OH will chip in again, and if he does great, but my intention is to buy everything needed for the month with £150. But this will be just food, no alcohol and no cleaning products required. We are eating out of the freezer and I intend to really empty it as much as possible. We must use what we have. And then I will do a fortnightly shop as I really can’t face weekly shopping particularly with all that is going on. 

Right I need to end off, as I want to cook before work. It’s going to be a busy day today. Have a good day everyone

Sarahwithlove

I love YNAB and swear by it I am lucky enough to get first year free but I will be happily paying for it going forward. I also recently joined the Facebook group and find it very helpful if you need advise 

Narola1976

Morning, an early start today. Was up at 5am, my dreams lately are really weird, bearing no resembling to reality. I wonder what my subconscious is trying to resolve LOL. Well I sort of used the time wisely. I put some chicken in the oven for this afternoon/evening. DD is off to work this afternoon,  so she needs something before she goes out. I won’t be here for a few hours as I will be in the hairdresser. My hair is the one area I cannot compromise on. For years I neglected it and it got into a state, but since the peri-menopause, my hair has been thinning for some years and it’s really knocked my confidence. So for the last couple of years I have been having it done weekly. Fortunately my hairdresser is very kind and only charges me £10 for a wash and blow. Today I am having a colour though as it really needs it. So that’s going to take some time. Hence the cooking early. I also put the dishwasher on. We only have a table top one, so it doesn’t hold much but still very useful for us. Someone is giving us a slimline one on Monday which I hope will be an improvement, but if it doesn’t work out, as we will be putting it on the counter top where the current dishwasher is, we will pass it on. Fingers crossed. 

I am going to have to work this weekend, but will leave that for tomorrow. No choice really. Work has been stressful and so unfulfilling, but it is all I am qualified to do. And it pays well and allows me to work from home so it’s a good job. I intend to be here for a few more years yet, before I hope to move on to the regulatory body that inspects our work and stay there until retirement. But I need a few more years of experience in my current job.

Today I will need to do a food shop, dreading it really, partly due to Covid and the other part due to a tight budget.  I hate having to shop with a calculator and literally consider each item very carefully before putting it in the trolley, but this is what I have to do, so I will do it. I hope to shop enough for a couple of weeks to avoid going weekly. If I had the space for a monthly shop I would do that.  Plan for today is hit a few shops. Foods from the Farm, and T3sco and Icyland depending on the money left. Wish me luck.

 I spoke with DD yesterday and asked her if I could stop paying her allowance. I have been paying her £15 per week, which works out to £60/£75 per month. It used to be £25 per week in the past but she agreed to a reduction about a year ago. I felt so awful to have to ask her if I could stop paying this. I know she works and earns over £500 per month, but as a mother I feel it is my responsibility to give her money toward clothes etc. She was OK about it but I feel really bad. My intention with this is to use this money to fill various categories. I don’t plan to use it for debt because I am already paying so much - well over £1000, but I am finding I have very little for my savings pots. I just have to make sure I don’t fritter it because I would rather give it to her in that case. I still pay for other things for her like her phone bill, pension and Photoshop. I will continue to pay this whilst she is a student. I feel she is still my responsibility no matter that she is an adult in the eyes of the law. Her part time job allows her to buy her own clothes but she is also saving for uni, a car etc. She did ask me to help her find a high interest savings account for her general savings - this is money she does not touch, I suppose its our version of an EF So I need to have a look at MSE site to see if I can see anything. If anyone has any ideas, do let me know. 

My health is a worry at the moment. My sugars are sky high even with medication. I know it is diet related but what to do when all the cheap food is carb loaded, i.e rice, pasta, bread. These are things that stretch far meal wise. If you make a curry for example, you can use less chicken because you stretch it out with potatoes and rice.  Or stir fry with really cheap egg noodles. Also, I am so time poor, its easier to cook for the family than do 2 separate meals. I have gone back to cooking before work because I just don’t get time in the day and my family like to eat really early, like 5:30. I really don’t know what to do about this. I need to be healthy as I am the main earner, but also I want to finally see myself with financial stability and have the time to enjoy it. So its a worry.  And with this darn perimenopause, I just want to cry all the time and sometimes I feel like I can explode.  I know its a combination of everything, the debt worries,  worries about DD’s future, my health etc.  It’s sometime just all too much

Sorry, this post has gone downhill very fast! I better stop here, thanks for reading.

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry you are having a tough time and hope you manage to stay in budget.

You should not worry about not giving your DD pocket money. We stopped doing that when ours were doing a part time job. You are still paying for her phone and presumably food and bills etc so supporting her that way. 

You have to make sure you eat well. Can you slow cook cheaper cuts of meat or bulk out bolognese or cottage pie with lentils which are fairly cheap. Tuna pasta bake is a fairly cheap meal and you can bulk it out with some frozen mixed veg to make it healthier. It sounds like you need more support though from your DH and DD. Feeding the family is not just your responsibility. Can they they not cook at least one night a week? I made our 2 DDs do that as preparation for being independent. Minced beef is cheap. I have been trying to lose weight gained over lockdown and have been surprised how much I was overeating by way of carbs so have started weighing potatoes, pasta etc and moving to half a sandwich or beans on one slice of toast rather than two for lunch. It is surprising how much bigger portions I was dishing out than really needed. 

Moneywhizz

Hi, good to see you back posting. I'm only just able to type again after my wrist injury, took much longer than expected to heal. I agree with ES that you shouldn't feel bad about stopping your daughter's allowance. I stopped paying for clothes, phone etc, when my daughter got a part time job. I was still supporting her by providing food and a home while she was at University.  She learned to budget on what she earned and finished her course with very little debt. I understand what you are saying about healthy food being more expensive but maybe you can bulk up your portions with extra veg, while cutting down carbs and still eating the family meals. As you say there is no point in scrimping and saving on food if you are not  well enough to enjoy your debt free life. In your position I would be very resentful of not being able to buy myself the kind of food I needed to stay healthy, while buying food for my husband who could well afford to contribute to the bills. You must be a very gracious person. 

Baileys_Babe

Bulking food out with pulses and frozen vegetables are both cheap and will help keep your blood sugar more stable.

Narola1976

Morning, thanks everyone for stopping by to read and give advice.I am feeling much better today, I don’t know what came over me. I never went food shopping yesterday after all as the weather was horrendous here. I hate shopping in the wet and I wasn’t going to ruin my hair after spending so much on it I decided we would just make do with what we have and it won’t be pretty but it will be edible. Then when I went to fetch DD from work I popped into the shop to see if anything was reduced. Not much really, but got some cheese which was on offer from £4 to £2.75, quite a large block because I have macaroni and that means todays lunch will be macaroni cheese with frankfurters in because that’s also all I have by way of meat  I got some lettuce reduced to 29p, some cherry toms for 75p, 3 steam veg bags on offer for £1.44 - I like these ones as Waitr*se is the only shop I know that sells just a broccoli and cauliflower mix. All the others have carrots or sweet corn in, which are not low carb. Anyway I digress. DD wanted this pork roast thing which was also on offer, those tiny ready to bang in the oven jobs, so that will also be a meal of some sort. Total bill with staff discount £9.95. I was quite pleased with that. But I will have to pop into the shops today as we will not have enough for the week if I don’t. I hear Aldee has some chicken on offer for £1.99. 

I hear what you re all saying re bulking out meals with veg/lentils etc. That is my plan. I should aim for progress here, not perfection, and ES, definitely, cutting down portion sizes will also help. I do need to rope DD into cooking but oh that’s a hard job, I know she is capable but just lazy and that is mostly my fault for indulging her. OH for years cooked for the family when I was in my old job and not working from home. He is the better cook between us. But since he is a one man band, he works all hours and really doesn’t have the time to cook. If I wasn’t well or something he happily would step in, and even now, he will occasionally make something. I suppose just being home, it makes sense for me to do the cooking. I don’t resent it, its just I am not the greatest cook. I wish I had my mum’s talent. She is a master in the kitchen but I just have no passion for cooking

I am happy to report debt busting is going well, slow and steady. I now owe less than £1000 on Argos and my last payment to them is January 2021. I cannot wait. To be honest I got into a mess with the interest bearing part of the credit because for a few months I did not have much money for food and because you could use your card at Sainsbury’s, I could get groceries. But silly me, I didn’t buy the bare minimum of course. Anyway, that’s over now. I have no intention of doing that again. I just have in my mind, that I will be debt free in 3 years if I say the course and do not get swayed in any way. 

Hope you all have a good Sunday. Really glad your wrist is better MW. Speak soon

enthusiasticsaver

Glad you are feeling better.  3 years is not such a long time and just think that any further small changes you can make could bring that DFD further.  There is a certain mentality in most of us who think spending on credit is not really spending.  There was  a program about shopaholics about 10 years ago where counsellors came in and worked with people who overspent on stuff and research showed if you deal with credit rather than cash most people do not realise how much they are spending.  I use my credit card for groceries and pay it off in full each month but have a  monthly set limit I will not go above.  At the end of the month we are usually down to freezer food or I have to use cash.