Financial Security

Charlie191106

Sea_Shell said:

In the short term, I'd make sure you're saving an amount equivalent to half the mortgage payments each month, into an account just in your name (if you're not already).   Can you afford to do this?   Are all your other finances separate or joint?

We have always kept things very separate. If we started splitting costs relating to food/kids/vehicle etc then I would be able put money away, especially when I resume full time hours which I will in September when my youngest can take himself to and from school. What would be the benefit of this? (other than me having savings)

Charlie191106

Fireflyaway said:

I've been with my partner 17 years (married 10) and I've always been sure he would look after us all financially, he earns a lot more than I do and is very generous. However at the start of the year he had a mental health episode and moved out! I'm now responsible for bills and rent on a house I can barely afford. I have no savings and if the landlord asked me to leave for any reason I'd be unable to afford a deposit on a new place. I am just about getting by and have started building an emergency fund. My point is, you can only truly trust yourself. I never dreamed id be in this situation. Prepare for the unexpected ! 
I can see that your partner clearly enjoys taking on the role of provider but things change. Obviously I hope you never do experience any major relationship issues but we all know of very long relations that have broken down, partners who become ill or die etc. I'm of the opinion it doesn't matter how you do it but get some financial protection. I think the buy to let is a good idea. If it keeps your relationship calmer but provides you protection then go for it. I'd always keep my own bank account in addition to a joint one and savings as well. I still love my husband and hope we can reconcile but it's changed my perspectives. I will now ensure I can manage independently of anyone else. 

I'm so sorry you're going through all that! I hope you can reconcile and rebuild trust. It's amazing what relationships can weather given time. Yes, I think if he digs his heels in I will just have to see myself as my own entity and go forward building what security I can. The buy to let is definitely a route I am looking into. Best wishes to you and your family 

Charlie191106

Silvertabby said:

Getting married would certainly help.  Doesn't have to be a big  expensive 'do' if that has been putting you both off - half an hour in the registry office (once they are open again) will do the trick

  

Silvertabby said:

Getting married would certainly help.  Doesn't have to be a big  expensive 'do' if that has been putting you both off - half an hour in the registry office (once they are open again) will do the trick

  

Unfortunately that isnt an option 

74jax

Charlie191106 said:

Silvertabby said:

Getting married would certainly help.  Doesn't have to be a big  expensive 'do' if that has been putting you both off - half an hour in the registry office (once they are open again) will do the trick

  

Silvertabby said:

Getting married would certainly help.  Doesn't have to be a big  expensive 'do' if that has been putting you both off - half an hour in the registry office (once they are open again) will do the trick

  

Unfortunately that isnt an option 

It wouldn't really help anyway as he could still leave his money and financial protection to anyone. 
It would only help if then divorced him.