Help with fence and neighbour...

mollycat

Bumblebee2128 said:

Thank you everyone for the response. The garden is a lot lower on my side, there wouldn't even be no point in putting a fence up if I went from the lowest it wouldn't cover the wall. I need the fence higher as its not safe and my children could topple over no problem which is an issue when it is so high. It doesn't cut off light in her garden. I had a large tree there in the corner  which she caused issues with previous owners as she didn't like when leaves she'd etc. I cut it down to keep her happy as she kept putting her head over my wall and harrasing me about it, now she is harrasing us about the fence. So she gains a lot of light from tree being cut down anyways. 

Appeasing people like you neighbour never ends well, trust me  i used to have a bullying, entitled neighbour. 
You "kept her happy" by cutting the tree, now she wants you to deal with the fence. If you did that to keep her happy something else will be an issue in a month or two's time; ad infinitum.
The only way to deal with this is to be assertive. I won't tell you how i dealt with my neighbour as it will be caled out as bad advice; suffice to say i now enjoy full,peaceful utility of my own garden.
Stop trying to please them, assert yourself.
Good luck

Bumblebee2128

mollycat said:

Bumblebee2128 said:

Thank you everyone for the response. The garden is a lot lower on my side, there wouldn't even be no point in putting a fence up if I went from the lowest it wouldn't cover the wall. I need the fence higher as its not safe and my children could topple over no problem which is an issue when it is so high. It doesn't cut off light in her garden. I had a large tree there in the corner  which she caused issues with previous owners as she didn't like when leaves she'd etc. I cut it down to keep her happy as she kept putting her head over my wall and harrasing me about it, now she is harrasing us about the fence. So she gains a lot of light from tree being cut down anyways. 

Appeasing people like you neighbour never ends well, trust me  i used to have a bullying, entitled neighbour. 
You "kept her happy" by cutting the tree, now she wants you to deal with the fence. If you did that to keep her happy something else will be an issue in a month or two's time; ad infinitum.
The only way to deal with this is to be assertive. I won't tell you how i dealt with my neighbour as it will be caled out as bad advice; suffice to say i now enjoy full,peaceful utility of my own garden.
Stop trying to please them, assert yourself.
Good luck

No I completely agree and didn't want to cut the tree my husband ddi it because he didn't want to keep having her head over the wall. And for a week and a half we have had this everyday about the fence, we are all very stressed and feel like we can't even go out to our own garden, she uses every excuse and it's draining. 

mollycat

Bumblebee2128 said:

mollycat said:

Bumblebee2128 said:

Thank you everyone for the response. The garden is a lot lower on my side, there wouldn't even be no point in putting a fence up if I went from the lowest it wouldn't cover the wall. I need the fence higher as its not safe and my children could topple over no problem which is an issue when it is so high. It doesn't cut off light in her garden. I had a large tree there in the corner  which she caused issues with previous owners as she didn't like when leaves she'd etc. I cut it down to keep her happy as she kept putting her head over my wall and harrasing me about it, now she is harrasing us about the fence. So she gains a lot of light from tree being cut down anyways. 

Appeasing people like you neighbour never ends well, trust me  i used to have a bullying, entitled neighbour. 
You "kept her happy" by cutting the tree, now she wants you to deal with the fence. If you did that to keep her happy something else will be an issue in a month or two's time; ad infinitum.
The only way to deal with this is to be assertive. I won't tell you how i dealt with my neighbour as it will be caled out as bad advice; suffice to say i now enjoy full,peaceful utility of my own garden.
Stop trying to please them, assert yourself.
Good luck

No I completely agree and didn't want to cut the tree my husband ddi it because he didn't want to keep having her head over the wall. And for a week and a half we have had this everyday about the fence, we are all very stressed and feel like we can't even go out to our own garden, she uses every excuse and it's draining. 

Which all sounds exactly like the situation we had. If you do what feels like a really difficult thing to do; stand up for yourself.....you might have the scenario we have now, our previous bolshy, bullying neighbour scurrying indoors when we are out in the garden.
Hiding inside and getting frustrated is no way to live when 30 seconds of telling your neighbour the fence is going nowhere fixes it. 

WeAreGhosts

I agree with mollycat. I've had the same issue with a neighbour who wanted everything their way and it is very draining and stressful. I'd write her a firm letter, setting out the law (2m from your ground level is correct) and telling her that you won't be engaging in any more discussion. Keep a copy of the letter. If there's any more hassle then keep a record of it (what's said/time/date etc), or try and record what's she's saying if she's verbal about it. I ended up contacting the police when I'd had enough of feeling like I couldn't enjoy my own garden and this was their advice, they said it was harassment and the neighbourhood policing team gave good advice.

TheCyclingProgrammer

I wouldn't even bother writing a letter outlining your position - so long as you're happy that you are within planning rules (and I think you are) then if you've told her the fence won't be removed leave it at that and enter into no more discussions. Remain civil and don't get into any further discussions on the issue. The fence looks absolutely fine and it seems to barely border her back boundary so I don't know why they are even making a fuss.

stragglebod

OP: at the nearest point to your house, how tall is the fence above the ground in your garden at that point? More than 2m or not?

Bumblebee2128

Thank you everyone you have given me a lot to think about. Stragglebod yes it's about 3 meters high from stepping out of my patio doors but only 6 foot high from the highest point. I will try and get photos tomorrow of the whole garden. I will add that no other neighbors have objected the main part of the fence runs along another neighbours house who has said he would love the privacy and the fence is fine. 

Bumblebee2128

WeAreGhosts said:

I agree with mollycat. I've had the same issue with a neighbour who wanted everything their way and it is very draining and stressful. I'd write her a firm letter, setting out the law (2m from your ground level is correct) and telling her that you won't be engaging in any more discussion. Keep a copy of the letter. If there's any more hassle then keep a record of it (what's said/time/date etc), or try and record what's she's saying if she's verbal about it. I ended up contacting the police when I'd had enough of feeling like I couldn't enjoy my own garden and this was their advice, they said it was harassment and the neighbourhood policing team gave good advice.

I wish these would scurry in. She blames us for absolutely everything since we put the fence up a few days ago, it is completely draining and my husband now doesn't want to finish the fence due to her coming out. She watches us from her window and then comes outside pointing and shouting. It is totally draining. I have two young children, one who will not go outside because she doesn't want her watching her from the window. We are in a prison in our own house. We had a Small bonfire (in line with our councils rules) to rid us of the tree that she insisted we cut down or she would sue for the mess hassle, she came out screaming at my husband. We feel like we cannot win at this point. 

stragglebod

Bumblebee2128 said:

Thank you everyone you have given me a lot to think about. Stragglebod yes it's about 3 meters high from stepping out of my patio doors but only 6 foot high from the highest point. I will try and get photos tomorrow of the whole garden. I will add that no other neighbors have objected the main part of the fence runs along another neighbours house who has said he would love the privacy and the fence is fine. 

It's a while since I did maths at school but I'm fairly sure that 3 meters is more than 2 meters.

Bumblebee2128

stragglebod said:

Bumblebee2128 said:

Thank you everyone you have given me a lot to think about. Stragglebod yes it's about 3 meters high from stepping out of my patio doors but only 6 foot high from the highest point. I will try and get photos tomorrow of the whole garden. I will add that no other neighbors have objected the main part of the fence runs along another neighbours house who has said he would love the privacy and the fence is fine. 

It's a while since I did maths at school but I'm fairly sure that 3 meters is more than 2 meters.

I understand, however everything I have read (rct) says from the highest point of the garden. As I said  this was raised a long time ago by previous owners. I have checked my deeds through and through along with all my paperwork from purchasing the house nothing says about the garden being raised. Had it been a matter or just the fence I would take her view into consideration, but my husband cannot breath without her coming out and harrasing us, it's starting to feel like a vendetta. She has not got along with any previous owners and I am starting to feel like we are bearing the brunt of her frustration towards them.