Diary of a reformed shopaholic (I hope)

shoppingobsessed2020

Yeah my jewellery has been a bit of an eye opener recently, We both have good watches my parents bought us (mine for my 21st and his for his 30th) but 2/3 of that value is my 3 rings (engagement ring wedding ring and eternity ring) His lordship has always been a high earner (although we met when he was in college training and on £750 a month and I was the higher earner) and when we were younger and child free he decided to do the traditional “3” months salary thing, choose a couple of diamonds when away one year with work then had it made into a wedding set.  I still don’t know why he went that route as I only up to that point wore my watch and some plain earrings do it’s not like I’m a magpie for sparkles (skincare is what I’m drawn to)

When we bought our house we had just paid for a wedding so we were being cautious as didn’t want to stretch ourselves too much then we got pregnant straight away and he started chasing promotion so the house that was meant to be a 2/3yr stop gap before becoming our first rental became a longer term thing.

I’ll be honest my rings live in the safe most of the time as I got used to not wearing them when monkey boy was little and all that hand washing and with covid and extra hand washing and not able to wear them due to gloves and ppe at work they don’t get loved.  I have offered to sell them after my bestie pointed out just how much I was walking around with on my wrist and finger but his lordship refused and has said that was his wake up call as he put a lot of time and effort into sourcing everything and designing it for me.  Don’t get me wrong if we were about to loose the house tomorrow they’d be gone I
im a flash but for now they are to stay.

where we live is nice but space wise we need more which is the only reason we want to move as there is no scope to extend here and add value beyond what we’ve done already.  My neighbours are lovely, we love the village we are in and the value of houses in the vicinity here for what we want are in the 350/400k range for a nice 4/5 bed, can go higher and get some wow ones but will see when we get this debt cleared what we do want.  We both want everything clear by 2022 so bit of juggling abs restructuring to go on.

alt80

Funny how we all have different priorities. I wanted my wife to choose her engagement ring tbh spent a lot less than I would but it’s what she wanted looks amazing on her tbf and great memories of a good weekend away choosing happy days all round. Hadn’t that long set up in business back then probably earned £4.5k/m so not massive amounts. Still liked the lifestyle then too ha!

Property always been my thing even above the cars so I don’t get putting rings / weddings first! Not a judgement most on here seem to be less bothered about houses than I am but do think it’s been one of my better choices out of the things I enjoy buying. 

Is 2022 realistic? For cards or cards and loans? Again not trying to judge but I have less debt and £2.5k/m more coming in - not a chance I feel I can clear mine that quickly.

GeorgianaCavendish

Sorry to hear of the troubles with your relative but you did the right thing supporting them. We had a set back for similar reasons a while ago and although it was a set back financially we would not have chosen to act differently - cliche but some things are more important than money. I think it's fair to say that everyone on these boards has ups and downs in their journey to pay off the debt, I'm confident you will be back on track in no time. 

shoppingobsessed2020

Been a few days and things are plodding along nicely.  His lordship has been offered 18 months 0% interest on his Halifax card 6.6k limit with 4% fee.  Can transfer £6100.  Can either do money transfer or card transfer for that rate.  

Thinking of doing the money transfer and paying half the mbna off.

I know it’s juggling it but better to have 6k interest free for 18 months which then leaves apprix 14k on interest (my Barclaycard, next, my tsb card and balance of mbna) then 4K interest free for a year (his Barclays) and 6k interest free for 18 months (part of mbna)

pretty sure we are going to do it.  The reason for a money transfer is I’ve cut up literally all the credit cards bar 2. His Lloyd’s and my tsb.

shoppingobsessed2020

Had an interesting conversation last night.  Bit of a spanner in the works re promotion but ultimately it’s his lordships happiness at the end of the day and that’s all that matters.

He’s not doing the internal promotion course this time round as it’s not uk based and it’s not worth the travelling risk with what we have got going on.  He’s still doing his masters course and exam but will do the course next time he’s home or after his captains exam.  

He doesn’t want to work for the company he’s working for anymore, he’s going to apply elsewhere after he’s got his captains and see what’s out there as it’s really annoyed him that despite them achieving record profits they have cut bonuses plus other things that have been going on.

been my birthday this weekend so we had a fab day yesterday and I got spoilt.  I’ve asked him to return 2 things as 1 I will never use unless he wants to keep it as he will use it and the other was something we already have 3 of and don’t need any more.  Neither were expensive but there is no point in keeping it when we really don’t need another.

Today’s plan when I feel human is housework and popping to the shops after rearranging the freezer to stock up on party food for Christmas and monkey boys birthday.  The sorting out the money transfer from Halifax to clear some of the mbna.  Then once his lordship is done with his masters course and if he has any offers on his Lloyd’s card we will transfer the remainder of the balance on his mbna card to his Lloyd’s hopefully getting rid of more interest bearing accounts.

shoppingobsessed2020

Flying visit.  I’ve been crazy with life at the moment.  Debt still taking a back seat but it’s not increasing.  Payday for me today and we have the following cards as I’ve paid off his lordships Lloyd’s card and my tsb card literally £100 left in my bank for fun but 2 clear credit cards although mine will have the food and fuel spend on it over the next 4 weeks till it’s paid off again, his lordship is putting the odd bit on his but then gives me the cash he’s spent so I can juggle the balance elsewhere.

Outstanding cards/loans
My car loan
his car loan
my barclays
his barclays
his mbna
my next
Lloyd’s loan
tesco loan.

We are supporting his lordships relative more, I’ve been popping to see her after work most days to sort her dinner so my fuel spend is up but I’m not concerned about that as I’ve been taking his lordships car most days and he’s been using mine for the shorter journey as his is more fuel efficient than mine, I miss my big car and it’s heated seats and steering wheel on a morning though, but compromises to be made if I don’t want to be topping up every week or so.  I’ve also been doing some
overtome so his lordship is picking up the slack on the childcare front and getting monkey boy from tea club so that helps me out.  Won’t be for much longer as we really need to get family to make the decision over a care home rather than in home care.  It’s just not working for her so let’s just do it and have our minds at rest that she is well looked after.

other than that Christmas is fullly paid for bar the food I’ve got on order but not concerned about that as the money is there to pay for it, 

tonight’s job is sorting out the car insurance as both are due at the end of the month abs the current provider wants to increase it by £150 compared to what we paid last year!  I’ve been good, no more speeding tickets (my only one was about 4 years ago now) and my no fault claim was also nearly 3 years ago so I will be shopping round abs making sure I get a better deal than that.

that’s about it, I’m pleased with how things are going, his lordship is still going to college next year but it’s all paid for bar his food so we are ticking along nicely at the moment.

Sarahwithlove

Sorry you are having such difficultly with the relative but you are doing a wonderful thing for them. If you need any advice about care home and financing just drop me a message as deal with them regularly. Good luck with it all. Very stressful situation but the fact that you haven't increased the debt is a great bonus. 

shoppingobsessed2020

Thanks Sarah, I really appreciate the offer of help and may take you up on that.  I’m on the periphery of the care industry so I know where I want her to go.  Funding is going to be a nightmare as will need to set up a deferred payment plan with the company or the council until her house is sold as we don’t have access to banks and are now going through solicitor and court of protection to give us power of attorney as his parents are not using it the way it should be intended.  I understand that food is food but when I am repeatedly going on and finding the cheapest of the cheap meals in her fridge and reduced to clear food that she wouldn’t eat anyway it’s soul destroying. I’ve taken to paying for a takeaway dinner at my work and reheating it when I get to hers so she has a decent meal on a night.  That can’t continue though and I’m only able to do it as his lordship is home picking up the slack.  When he goes to college and then back to sea I need something more permanent in place so I’ve a month to sort something out as I can’t keep going daily as it is going to be an issue when it’s me and monkey boy as I won’t get to hers till an hour later than I do at the moment and that means monkey boy won’t get home till 7pm and will miss his activity’s and it’s too late for him to be out on a school night every night to then do dinner and shower and homework.

Ah well good job I’m not afraid of a bit of hard work.  

warby68

Not posted on your thread before but would a meal delivery service work short term? There is something called icare which deliver hot meals, dessert plus a sandwich tea if required - about £7 a day iirc, plus it acts as a well being check. I haven't actually used it as my mum recovered at the time but it came quite highly recommended by the Age UK rep last year. No long term commitment, you can just order a couple of days at a time. They do a free trial so a small MSE element too.

Sarahwithlove

shoppingobsessed2020 said:

Thanks Sarah, I really appreciate the offer of help and may take you up on that.  I’m on the periphery of the care industry so I know where I want her to go.  Funding is going to be a nightmare as will need to set up a deferred payment plan with the company or the council until her house is sold as we don’t have access to banks and are now going through solicitor and court of protection to give us power of attorney as his parents are not using it the way it should be intended.  I understand that food is food but when I am repeatedly going on and finding the cheapest of the cheap meals in her fridge and reduced to clear food that she wouldn’t eat anyway it’s soul destroying. I’ve taken to paying for a takeaway dinner at my work and reheating it when I get to hers so she has a decent meal on a night.  That can’t continue though and I’m only able to do it as his lordship is home picking up the slack.  When he goes to college and then back to sea I need something more permanent in place so I’ve a month to sort something out as I can’t keep going daily as it is going to be an issue when it’s me and monkey boy as I won’t get to hers till an hour later than I do at the moment and that means monkey boy won’t get home till 7pm and will miss his activity’s and it’s too late for him to be out on a school night every night to then do dinner and shower and homework.

Ah well good job I’m not afraid of a bit of hard work.  

That is going to be messy. I would start the process with the local authority as soon as possible as it may be you need to go down the route it a short term loan until their LPOA has been revoked and yours put in place unless she has capacity to consent to deferred payments? I work for adults health and care in the finance department so happy to give you any advise I can about procedures etc if needed. Does she get any disability benefit or attendance allowance? In short term have you considered approaching DWP to see if one of you can become the appointee? If LPOA isn't using the money in the best interests then they may look to do this so someone can at least access her income then. I also second looking at hot meal delivery's near by to her, again local authority will have someone they have links with or you can try somewhere like age concern which has local companies they recommend or local voluntary organisations in her area. Does she have carers going in at the moment?