Cripplng gambling debt, no idea where to make savings

[Deleted User]

IrishSean said:

Agreed.

OP posted about bankruptcy while I was compiling war and peace 2 above😂☝

Seriously though, my worry is you will be trading some problems for more while not addressing the underlying issue which is a need to stop gambling. If it helps, visualise the bookmaker, casino, lotto operator taking your money with little likelihood of giving anything back (in my case trying to cash out a 5 figure sum took, 45 separate emails and a threat of legal action!)
The fact is its the wild west out there; its even worse I fear, with Covid as govt focus will NOT be on bookie's or casino's sharp practices. Learning to hate them for what they do I.e. putting some in debt with no !!!!!! given, is a useful tool.

If bankrupt you won't be able to hold a bank account or get credit; i'm not an expert and can't advise you based on your SOA but it seems unlikely you'll be able to hide not holding most financial products for 7+ years from your parents.

Take advice from Stepchange or similar; work out a timeframe. Invest in yourself via a 2nd job, promotion, night class etc. You'd be amazed what you could achieve in the time your bankruptcy arrangement would last if an IVA or similar were open to you.

As I say, take free advice and read the DFW accounts on this forum for proof higher debts than yours have been repaid.

Again, GL M8

You can still have basic bank account when your bankrupt.  You're income can be paid into the account and you can have standing orders, direct debits and a debit card.  It's best to open the basic account before you go bankrupt and to open it will a bank/building society group to which you do not owe money.

I don't see why the OP's parents would need to know that (s)he doesn't have a credit card or loan especially when the father seems to anti-debt anyway.

[Deleted User]

Abandon said:

I'm going to phone the bankruptcy office tomorrow (no idea who to phone but I'll look it up tomorrow) and try and declare myself.
If my dad finds out then I'll be thrown out of the family, so I'm going to pray every night that they don't find out. I actually (stupidly) told him about the London gazette, when I was trying to explain that his business associates wouldn't find out. Please cross your fingers for me he doesn't check it this week. 

Contact one of the debt charities (CAP UK, National Debtline or Step Change) before you do anything else. If bankruptcy is deemed to be the best option for you then they can point you in the right direction.

onwards&upwards

Lover_of_Lycra said:

IrishSean said:

Agreed.

OP posted about bankruptcy while I was compiling war and peace 2 above😂☝

Seriously though, my worry is you will be trading some problems for more while not addressing the underlying issue which is a need to stop gambling. If it helps, visualise the bookmaker, casino, lotto operator taking your money with little likelihood of giving anything back (in my case trying to cash out a 5 figure sum took, 45 separate emails and a threat of legal action!)
The fact is its the wild west out there; its even worse I fear, with Covid as govt focus will NOT be on bookie's or casino's sharp practices. Learning to hate them for what they do I.e. putting some in debt with no !!!!!! given, is a useful tool.

If bankrupt you won't be able to hold a bank account or get credit; i'm not an expert and can't advise you based on your SOA but it seems unlikely you'll be able to hide not holding most financial products for 7+ years from your parents.

Take advice from Stepchange or similar; work out a timeframe. Invest in yourself via a 2nd job, promotion, night class etc. You'd be amazed what you could achieve in the time your bankruptcy arrangement would last if an IVA or similar were open to you.

As I say, take free advice and read the DFW accounts on this forum for proof higher debts than yours have been repaid.

Again, GL M8

You can still have basic bank account when your bankrupt.  You're income can be paid into the account and you can have standing orders, direct debits and a debit card.  It's best to open the basic account before you go bankrupt and to open it will a bank/building society group to which you do not owe money.

I don't see why the OP's parents would need to know that (s)he doesn't have a credit card or loan especially when the father seems to anti-debt anyway.

Agreed, my parents know zilch about my finances.  They know I have a mortgage because they’ve been to my house, that’s it. 

ryanm8655

I think we need to respect that it seems the OP is from a different culture to the majority of us on here.

While I agree with most of the comments, it is still very difficult for them and not necessarily an issue of being immature. They’ve taken a brave step in posting here at all and it seems they’re going to do the sensible thing.

A friend of mine has the money to move out of home but feels bad doing so as there is an expectation in his culture that he supports them financially. I struggle to understand it as I’m from a very different background but I respect it and don’t tell him to
grow up. Granted the context is quite different here.

onwards&upwards

It’s a very good point, and yes it may be difficult, but there is always a choice.  I know lots of people who put on a bit of an act for family but do whatever they personally feel is right for them regardless.  

My parents still don’t know I ever had a gambling issue and never will, it would be too upsetting for them, and if they’d known when I was in the hole they would also have tried to throw money at the problem which wouldn’t have been at all helpful. 

Brenster

Abandon said:

I think I've been misunderstood so I'm going to make two brief points. 

A. My dad has made clear that due to the family reputation bankruptcy is out of the question.

B. from my understanding matched betting is not gambling. There is no risk. If I'm wrong then I won't be doing it. 

You are an addict, what happens when you are trying to do match betting and see a 'sure thing', of course you are going to click....Its like being an uncontrolable alcholic and getting a job as a landlord of a pub ! 
The more i read the more i think you are not genuine.

IrishSean

Would be useful to hear from OP given range of opinions.

My twopenceworth would be:
Don't enter into any financial lightly, esp bankruptcy; remember it might not just be your existing relationships it has an impact on.
You don't have to be an open book with family but think about the impact of further secrecy too.
Definitely speak to a free debt counsellor, keeping an open mind on all options.
Break the gambling habit (no you can't bet recreationally any more, if you want to sort your finances).
OP, you have an addiction and a £5k loan from grandparents. If your addiction remains unchecked you'll have lending sector's unsecured debts expunged yes, but will likely find ways to borrow again when the itch becomes uncontrollable.

For what its worth I was advised to consider bankruptcy at one stage and effectively hide it but I felt it wasn't right for me; everyone is different but I think going through some financial pain and sacrifices help with healing the addiction.
Addiction is 2 things; trying to fill a hole in you that can't be filled with whatever your habit is; drink, shopping, gambling etc. Find out what caused the hole.
It's also doing something destructive because you don't like who you are or how you feel.
Trust me, having a Debt Free goal to work towards addresses those feelings in a good way.
I'm not posting again until OP returns.

Abandon

Thanks for all the comments so far. I've read them all. I don't really have anyone else to talk this stuff over with so it's appreciated. 
I've decided to ditch the stupid match betting idea, I genuinely thought it was a get rich quick scheme and hadn't really looked into it. Obviously I was wrong. 
I haven't been able to bring myself to call about the bankruptcy yet. It just seems such a scary prospect. Like admitting defeat. 
For the time being I'm going to cut costs to the bone and see where I am in a month. 

theoretica

If there were accessible get rich quick schemes we would all be rich. A pity, but there it is.

Good luck.

OhIJustLostMyShoe

Abandon said:

Thanks for all the comments so far. I've read them all. I don't really have anyone else to talk this stuff over with so it's appreciated. 
I've decided to ditch the stupid match betting idea, I genuinely thought it was a get rich quick scheme and hadn't really looked into it. Obviously I was wrong. 
I haven't been able to bring myself to call about the bankruptcy yet. It just seems such a scary prospect. Like admitting defeat. 
For the time being I'm going to cut costs to the bone and see where I am in a month. 

That's a good move to ditch the matched betting idea.  I've done it myself, and made some money out of it, but even as a balanced person who had never gambled before, it can tempt you into making poor choices and chasing losses (which as you've pointed out generally doesn't work).

I don't know the ins and outs of your story (apologies, but haven't read all pages) but in some cases staying away altogether can be the most responsible option.