Old man wont self isolate

CEON44

My wife is at her wits end with her father. He will be 85 next month and is frail. He has COPD and coughs continuously and has very raspy breathing. He has previously had prostate cancer and open heart surgery. So all in all he is top of the list as someone who is at serious risk with this virus. Problem is although he is frail and slow he never sits down. He is always on the go and doing something in the house or outside and he goes out every day in the car to various places. He has no intention of doing anything different and said the crisis is all a load of b*****ks. Even if it was made law that he stayed in he still wouldnt comply. Is there anyway he can be forced to self isolate?  My wife is the only one who can help him and both her and myself are early 60's and both have health issues. Which means apart from being a danger to himself he is potentially a threat to us too. My wife has told him she will just be leaving his shopping etc at the door but she worries so much about him I know she will go in the house. Is there anything I can do here?

kazwookie

Take his car keys off him.

Sit and talk to him again, show him the various gov. charts etc / photos of Italy etc

CEON44

kazwookie said:

Take his car keys off him.

Sit and talk to him again, show him the various gov. charts etc / photos of Italy etc

If only it was so easy. This is a man who lives by his own rules and cares nothing about anyone else. Sad thing to say about my own father in law but thats the way he has always been. He is cert to get the virus and will pass it on, no doubt. I'm worried about who he takes with him. 

773567889

Show no mercy with these people. Tell him using every swear word and shock tactic in the book how selfish he is.
Something like "If you want to die slowly and horribly, that's your own business. You have a responsibility to to the rest of us not to spread it, and not to take up an ICU bed. How many deaths do you personally want to be responsible for?" 
There isn't time to say it gently and slowly.

Jeremy535897

You can't force him to self isolate. Your only hope is to convince him to change his behaviour. If you have a friend or contact in the NHS would he listen to them? Would he listen if they (or perhaps your wife) point out the risk to you and your wife if he infects you?
If he coughs continuously, he is likely to be most unwelcome in shops or near other people generally. Point out that while he may view the crisis as nonsense, most other people do not and he will cause a lot of upset (unless he thrives on causing upset). If his trips out tend to be by himself, that is the next best thing to staying inside.

discat11

It's the sort of idiocy we have seen in social media that is claiming it's just flu etc to blame -these people and the people that have shared these opinions need to watch themselves. After this is all over the blame game will start and the unnecessary deaths will be, quite rightly in my opinion, levelled at the idiots that have downplayed the seriousness of this.  

Pollycat

CEON44 said:

My wife is at her wits end with her father. He will be 85 next month and is frail. He has COPD and coughs continuously and has very raspy breathing. He has previously had prostate cancer and open heart surgery. So all in all he is top of the list as someone who is at serious risk with this virus. Problem is although he is frail and slow he never sits down. He is always on the go and doing something in the house or outside and he goes out every day in the car to various places. He has no intention of doing anything different and said the crisis is all a load of b*****ks. Even if it was made law that he stayed in he still wouldnt comply. Is there anyway he can be forced to self isolate?  My wife is the only one who can help him and both her and myself are early 60's and both have health issues. Which means apart from being a danger to himself he is potentially a threat to us too. My wife has told him she will just be leaving his shopping etc at the door but she worries so much about him I know she will go in the house. Is there anything I can do here?

If you're thinking about forcible measures, then no, there's nothing you can do.

Only try to convince him of the seriousness of the situation.

And it sounds like that's not going to work.

From what I've been hearing from friends, it's the elderly who are the most insistent on going out. We all have parents aged 80+. My own Mum has no choice, she's in a care home.

Until Friday night, the young were still going out but the closure of pubs and clubs has stopped that.

The elderly will still catch the bus up to the local shops every day - just as they usually do - because for many it's a social occasion and a way of having contact with people.

lincroft1710

Does he live in an area where there have only been a few cases? Given the relatively low number of cases per head of population in the UK, he probably believes there is little chance of him catching the virus, hence his behaviour.

CEON44

773567889 said:

Show no mercy with these people. Tell him using every swear word and shock tactic in the book how selfish he is.
Something like "If you want to die slowly and horribly, that's your own business. You have a responsibility to to the rest of us not to spread it, and not to take up an ICU bed. How many deaths do you personally want to be responsible for?" 
There isn't time to say it gently and slowly.

Believe me everything has been tried. This is a man who will not listen and will do as he wants. Always been like this. I am hoping for a change in law to compel over 70's to stay indoors. He will still venture out but maybe police will stop him. I hope so

enthusiasticsaver

He is an idiot and selfish to boot. If you cannot take away his car keys I would be tempted to leave him to it but remind him he is foregoing access To healthcare as that is reserved for those of us doing as we are told so in all likelihood he will die alone and possibly very unpleasantly as from what I understand it is the breathing difficulties which finish people off. He does not deserve a respirator.  Ask your wife to keep away to protect herself and you. 

JimmyTheWig

There are two completely different things at play here.
One is that he is old and at risk of dying if he catches the virus.
The second is that he is risking spreading it around.
The second has nothing to do with his age or his medical history. In fact, this makes him of less risk of spreading it as if he catches it he is likely to be housebound (or hospitalbound) by the symptoms pretty quickly.