Benefit / income embarrassment

LilElvis

Fireflyaway said:

No he doesn't pay regular maintenance. I dont think he realizes the cost of things either. I think it's pride too. My cousin probably doesn't want her ex to think she needs him. I never knew him that well but I think he was a bit controlling. That aside it's his kids and he should support them. 

At the moment her personal pride is disadvantaging both herself and, more importantly, her children! She isn't the one who needs her ex - it's their children who need him to help to support them by way of regular payments, not just ad-hoc token amounts. As far as I am aware maintenance payments aren't taken into consideration when calculating UC, so she could be substantially better off than she is at the moment, and with an income she can rely on. Hopefully you can help her to see that she owes it to both herself and her children to claim what she is entitled to.

BrassicWoman

MAybe some context will help? Many working people claim UC. 

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/dwp-benefits-statistics-august-2019/dwp-benefits-statistical-summary-august-2019#working-age-benefit-combinations

Pollycat

Fireflyaway said:

Thanks everyone. I think she probably feels she has failed a bit by not earning enough to support the kids and uncomfortable about getting money she hasn't earned. It's not like she planned this situation of is lazy through. She is 34 and has always worked. I'm not in a position to help her financially but I can treat the kids every now and again which I know will be appreciated. I will check out that link too. 

Very few people do plan to be in a situation where they are short of money.

She owes it to her children to claim whatever benefits she is eligible for.

She is failing and disadvantaging her children if she does not do so.

I think your friend's Mum is being unfair asking you to 'have a word'.

If this lady is embarrassed at possibly having to claim benefits, how do you think she'll feel when you broach the subject of finances?

I think you should talk to her Mum and - armed with the facts on here - get the Mum to encourage her to claim.

Or maybe the friend who first suggested claiming.

She needs to set off a claim for child maintenance too.

She needs to put her embarrassment and pride to one side and think of what's best for her children.

thorsoak

Tell her mum that she should talk to Womens' Aid - it's not all about violence, it is about helping women to get what is due to them and their children.

pickledonionspaceraider

Embarrassment and pride do not put food on the table 

Fireflyaway

Yes she will be making her life harder if she doesn't claim. It not as though she needs to tell everyone about it either. 

Morbier

If the husband's name is still on the tenancy agreement, then he's still responsible for the rent (or his share of it) even if he's not living there. I imagine this will be taken into account when eligibility for UC is worked out?

pollypenny

I wouldn't  put as bluntly, but someone, her mother probably, needs to say 'tough, you have to claim.'  

HampshireH

The harsh reality is she needs to keep a roof over their head and food in their belly.

Pride isnt an option and actually who needs to know If she claims some benefits?

Far better to do so that be homeless with debt and kids.

That includes going through the child support agency he has obligations too.

Once_a_Lion

If you have genuine needs for it then you need to claim.

As per usual, it is those that are not genuine, yet still take from the public purse, that spoil it for the likes of yourself.