Benefit / income embarrassment

Fireflyaway

My cousins husband left her recently, they have 2 kids. She works full time but is struggling as her rent alone equates to over 60% of her wages. She was just going to try and get by till a friend of hers suggested she apply for universal credit. Looks as though she is eligible but her mum told me she won't apply because of embarrassment! The kids dad does help with clothes, pocket money etc and she gets child benefit but it's still really tight. She can't even look for a cheaper place be a they only recently signed a new rent agreement. She has always worked but just feels so uncomfortable taking money from the government. I think her mum wants me to have a word but I'm not sure what to say or if she will feel worse knowing I know! Anyone been in this situation?

BAFE

Would you or her mum be able to help her financially?  I'm not sure you can force her to go on benefits if she doesn't want to.

xylophone

Somebody should explain to this lady that benefits are there  in case of need - she has been (and is) paying her taxes so that they will be available for her and for others.

Urge her to check and claim any available entitlement...... for the sake of extras for the little ones as much as anything!

comeandgo

I think someone in her situation would be horrified her mum had been gossiping about her problems.  Could you bring a conversation around to discussing a "friend" getting benefits and how it's not government money but tax payers money and as friend has paid tax and still pays tax she is in effect getting her own money back.

[Deleted User]

 Do a benefits check with her to show her exactly how much it might help her
https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/AboutYou

Fireflyaway

Thanks everyone. I think she probably feels she has failed a bit by not earning enough to support the kids and uncomfortable about getting money she hasn't earned. It's not like she planned this situation of is lazy through. She is 34 and has always worked. I'm not in a position to help her financially but I can treat the kids every now and again which I know will be appreciated. I will check out that link too. 

LilElvis

Fireflyaway said:

The kids dad does help with clothes, pocket money etc 

Helping with incidentals doesn't sound like a father who is paying regular maintenance - if he isn't then she should ask him to do so and if he still doesn't then she should involve CMS. She definitely shouldn't be embarrassed to ask the children's father to support them.

Fireflyaway

No he doesn't pay regular maintenance. I dont think he realizes the cost of things either. I think it's pride too. My cousin probably doesn't want her ex to think she needs him. I never knew him that well but I think he was a bit controlling. That aside it's his kids and he should support them. 

harrys_nan

Your cousin is the sort of person that should be claiming, not the people that claim it as a lifestyle. It is there for giving people a bit of help when they need it. She should also put a claim in for proper maintenance, the kids are his as well.  Please give her a push to claim this money somehow

Retireby40

By law he has to pay maintenance theres no way around it. That extra money would be thr difference between getting things tight and having a bit of breathing space. A tenner here or there pocket money isnt anything compared to the cost of rent/bills/food/petrol if she brings them to extra activities or to school etc.

Frankly she needs to report him to the CSA. It isnt embarrassing to get paid what your entitled to get. 

Retireby40

And the pride thing isnt anything to be worried about. It isnt her who needs his money. Is his kids who need his money and if he isnt providing properly she needs to go down the correct avenues to claim.