Feeling anxious about becoming a 'proper' housewife.

Gingham_Ribbon

I could write a book on all my observations on this subject so I'll try to be brief.

This is a hard job. It is a VERY hard job, make no mistake. It is also largely undervalued by society. Once, I was explaining to an ex collegue how happy I was to be at home raising my family. Her answer was that if I loved looking after children so much, why didn't I put mine into nursery and get back to work. (I was a teacher.) People either get it or the don't. If they don't, forget it. YOU will know what you're doing and how important it is and your family will too.

I am knackered. More so than any other time in my life. But I gave up on the Christmas shopping at lunch time and sat in my car with my baby and just let the world whizz by us for a few minutes and I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life. This time, however tiring, is so fleeting. I just feel so lucky that I get to do this every single day. (And there are times when I'd do anything to have a day where I didn't have to do it but I wouldn't change my situation for the world.)

My only advice is to get everyone involved and don't sweat the small stuff. This isn't about being the perfect housewife. (Who ever expected anyone to be the 'perfect' police officer or the 'perfect' clerk?) It's about having a happy, loving home and if somehow you all pull that off you'll be doing it right. x

Oh and I've gone through all the options for 'title' and I still think housewife is best. I am not a stay home mum - we go out a lot. Homemaker is nice, but I can't take all the credit for making this place a home - DH does half the work. I am a full time mum, but so is every mum, whether they have a job outside the home or not. So I stick proudly to the housewife title!

cobbingstones

Thank you all again. It's always lovely to hear of other people's experiences. It's especially good to see that you all agree about the job being the hardest, yet the most rewarding one you could have.

Thanks again

MM

MrsB_2

I made the decision to be a housewife just before dd1 came along. I promised my husband that although we'd be sacrificing my income it'd be wonderful because the house would be perfectly clean, I'd cook home made meals every single day, I'd be happy and fulfilled and I'd never ever need him to help with the housework ever again.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Thank god his expectations werent quite so grand!!!

Being a housewife is bl00dy hard. It's not just the amount of work involved, it's the burdens and pressure you put on yourself to do it 'perfectly' and the guilt and blame you put upon yourself for not doing 'enough'. It's also a lonely job sometimes, especially if your friends all work. It's exhausting because you feel like you HAVE to get up in the night when the baby needs you because DH has to go to work so needs his sleep more than you do. And when you do relent and let dh do it just once cos you've already been up 6 times in the last 4 hours, the guilt is phenomenal. And entirely self enflicted if your dh is anything like mine.

And yet... I would give up everything we have to keep doing this wonderful, rewarding, fulfilling, precious precious job that I am so privileged to have the opportunity and the loving support of my dh to do.

DD2 is due in March, and so I'm starting to feel the effects and worry about how much harder life's going to be on a day to day basis. But you know what?? I STILL wouldnt swap my life.

Good luck, there'll be days you need it, but there'll be millions more when you feel like the luckiest woman alive.

rosh12

I've been on maternity leave for the past 8 months, and jsut wanted to throw my tuppence-worth in! I am so NOT a perfect housewife, but I wouldl ove to be. My house is always untidy, the washing piles up and up and up in the bathroom- then I spend a whole day (or 2!) washing and drying it all... The flylady stuff is great, but with a baby I just never seem to be able to manage it! (I don't really think I can use the baby as an excuse any more as she's 6 months now!!)
So, I don't have lots of wisdom to offer- but I would just say, sometimes, just having one thing to do is enough... e.g. today I WILL get all the baby's clothes washed and dried... Then, if I can manage that, anything else is a bonus and makes me feel as though I am on top if it all!

More power to all of our elbows ) !

morwenna

champys wrote: »

the wonderful thing is: you are your own boss!

i'd love to be a full-time housewife (i might finally become a 'proper' one too), but sadly i am also the family breadwinner.

roll on, retirement.......

me too! I am the only breadwinner in this house too Would love to be a stay at home Mum. Lots of luck, just ask for advice x

sammy_kaye18

Frogga - making the game fo it - i do this with my son otherwise i find he tends to untidy behind me - we have 'tidy up time' which happens just before lunch, tea and just before bed it takes two minutes and the house looks tidy (presentable) and my 3 year old loves it, he also helps with dishes (playign in the bubbles after and cleaning the spoons for me) and he also helsp with brushign the floor whilst i dust, plus training them to put plates/bowls/cups in the sink after eating is a bonus - now jsut need to train his father to do the same!!!!!!!!

Madsmum - as far as the housework goes ive been attempting it for 4 years and am still not there yet!!

Cooking, i try and have a batch cook day once a month where i cook up sauces, shepherds pies etc and freeze them in portions so we have meals to grab when needed or if i havea day out wiht ben i know theres something i can reheat in the fridge which helps.

Cleaning - I agree with others, i have a list of to do things and a maybes list. I do attempt to tackle one room a day though. For example my daily list is

1. I make sure that if i use dishes i wash them after every meal.
2. Try to do two loads fo washing a day.
3. hanging washing out once a day.
4. Sweep living room
5. Mop hallway (this is 'dogs' room so needs it daily)
6. Bathroom and toilet get a quick wipe ove rand a squirt of loo cleaner in them
7. Beds made

Thats my daily list. Nothign fancy just the basics. Most of which i get done when ben is at school for 2 hours, I also have to make sure the dog is walked and that i spend quality time with Ben too.

As for quality time with the littel ones - how old are they? My ben is 3 and a half years old.
We sit and watch programmes together as our treat after we've done somethign - ie if we wash the dishes (i was main stuff, then as im dryign he washes spoons up) then we sit down after with a cup of tea and biscuit.(not every time granted but a 5 mintue cuddle watching a show they like is nothing is it?)
PLus thursday night is mummy night - daddy is at his big boy school (college) so that is our night - we cwtch up have a treat (sweeties or popcorn) and watch a dvd together.
If we have to go and do the food shop, he helps me get bits off the shelf and put them in the trolley then as his reward he gets a little toy car or a little pack of sweeties.
My son even helps make the beds after we've had a bit of a hide and seek play under the duvet - its great fun to hear the squels of fun form him but its also getting a job done.
The same goes for loading the washing machine and then he plays in the garden whilst i hang the washing out. Bens is my little sockodile hunter lol finding all the stray socks ive dropped between bedroom/bathroom and the kitchen.

Thigns are easy when you figure out ways to do it - liek ive said im still tryign to perfect it after 4 years!