Feeling anxious about becoming a 'proper' housewife.

cobbingstones

Hi all

Due to circumstances changing I am now going to become a 'housewife'. I feel that this role is going to be extremely tough and I'm worried that I won't be the perfect (or near perfect) one that I would love to be

In my little idealistic world I would love to keep the house as clean as possible with two little ones. I will start with the flylady and hope I will continue.

Cook home made food which needs to be healthy. We are all overweight and struggling. I feel this is a challenge! I'm one for starting things and then start to forget to continue it. My worst habit. :mad:

I want to educate the kids as much as possible. I can print out info from the internet etc and ask them to help me cook

I guess I want a happy healthy home.

Any suggestions ideas would be appreciated.

MM

JAMIEDODGER

this board is fantastic resource! try not to be too hard on yourself...it all takes time, and who wants to be perfect anyway...happy is the way to go:D

Yategirl

make yourself a list of what *has* to be done each day and then what must be done say once a week... then as long as those jobs are done.. you can fit the rest in when you have time. With littlies.. you need and want to spend time with them so don't beat yourself up about being perfect - there is plenty of time for perfection and as Jamie say's.. who wants to be perfect?!

lil_me

Learn, if you don't already know, how to accept defeat with some things, pick yourself up and carry on. Also accepting that noone is perfect and that you always are achieving something by trying your best. Get yourself some 'me' time booked in so being a house wife doesn't become 24/7/365, so that you even have an hour a week, hopefully longer, of escape time.

As far as teaching the kids goes, always make it fun and rewarding, with fun and rewards they'll usually be interested but don't be disheartened if some days they are just not interested. There are loads of resources on the internet, google will become your best friend, probably the library too for cook books aswell as story books to enjoy with the children.

I hope you enjoy being a proper housewife, I suppose I am in a way as I don't do any paid work but I am also studying, help out with lots of voluntary projects and support group stuff etc, like my partner says I haven't got the time usually to fit in a 'job' :rotfl:

Look forward to having you with us as one of the 'full timers' on the Flylady thread, all the members on there are fab and I hope it helps you.

D&DD

Hi Madsmum
First thing I would say is RELAX and most of all enjoy it I have only had the opportunity to be a SAHM for 3 years and have loved every mad minute of it lol...My house is never perfect *sorry flyladys* although I am trying Most of the time theres still cobwebs hanging around and I'm always finding the odd totally rank piece of food in the most unlikely place but I would also say its the most rewarding 'job' I've ever had
Have fun :T

meanmarie

Madsmum,

Remember that the only way to go is babysteps...a little at a time. I have spent a lot of my so far long life being really enthusiastic about things and then losing the will to live as it all became too much! 'Me' time is very important and programme it in from the word go as otherwise you will resent having to shift things around.

I agree with Yategirl that if you write a list of what 'must' be done daily and weekly and get used to doing that you will have made a great start and don't think that your house has to sparkle at all times ( I'd be happy if mine ever did) the happiness of your household is far more important than sweeping the floor 10 times a day.

Be happy and relaxed with yourself and your family and take your transformation into being a perfect housewife one day at a time!
Marie

ravylesley

Having four tinies myself I think one of the things you must understand that being a SAHM can be fun as well as darned hard work and its the most rewarding job you will ever get.As for being the perfect wife and mother does such a thing exist?I'd aim for a clean but not necessarily tidy house as kids are terribly untidy creatures.As for cooking gradually build yourself up a small repertoire of good,hearty healthy meals that everyone enjoys rather than trying flashy Jamie Oliver type recipes that little palates just dont appreciate.Above all relax and enjoy it because your children dont stay children for long and its so easy to miss it by fussing over things that really dont matter

Lesleyxx

bellaquidsin

You are about to commence the most fulfilling job in the world. Relax, enjoy and take one day at a time.

Bella

Debt_Free_Chick

Also, learn how to say "no" ... don't give yourself too much to do otherwise you'll start to feel inadequate when you don't achieve it all!

Be realistic about what you can actually achieve - some things take longer than you think they're going to!

Vital that you include some "me time" too ..... time when you do something for yourself. File your nails, soak your feet, put on a face mask, watch day-time TV ... whatever makes you feel as though you've had a little treat.

Don't fill your day with "musts, shoulds and oughts". It's very rare that everything on the to-do list has to be done there and then, that very day .... so don't overdo it.

Hardup_Hester

Hi Madsmum
I was chatting to DD2 last week & she says she & her siblings remember there childhood as idillic (sp) she remembers fun, mudpies, jumping in pubbles, listening to stories, baking with me, trips to the park & library, playing in the garden, having pets & many other things. She has no recollection of whether or not the house was clean (it mostly was) or tidy (it never was). Her husband, who's mother was a neat freak has no memories of his mum ever doing anything that was fun & neither does he remember whether or not the house was tidy (it always was) or clean (it still isn't). He does remember his mother screaming at him & his sibling a lot. I remember screaming at my kids to though none of them remember it.
Always remember that perfect mothers/people are usually boring & usually require perfect kids, which don't exist. A stressful situation for all concerned.

Hugs Hester

cobbingstones

Thanks for all your encouragement and advice.

I guess I want my children to have a super duper childhood, due to mine not being the best. But hey I have to be realistic and know that Rome wasn't built in a day and try my best.

Thanks again

MM