Feeling anxious about becoming a 'proper' housewife.

PasturesNew

I wish I could be a housewife... no offers to date though

Liz19

You will love it. I have been a stay at home mum for 16 years and can honestly say that I have really enjoyed every minute. Unfortunately due to a change in circumstances, I am going to the other end of the spectrum to you and returning to work full-time. Like you, I am really anxious about it but will be scouring these forums for all the advice and support I can get. Good luck!

culpepper

I agree with Hester.
A Simple life is a happy life.
Get down to the library and check out some cookery books! Not the posh courdon bleu tomes but the friendly looking ones with the traditional Engish grub. Learn a couple of recipes from each one and that will be a start.
Read to the kids every night before bed or just turn off the tv and read aloud.
Go for walks and collect leaves etc.
My fondest childhood memories are my mother reading to us and walks to the common or the park.
Let kids have play clothes and keep smart for best. Put antiques or treasures away till they are grown up. My hubby and his 4 siblings had to live amongst an antique collection and valuable pieces of furniture and were mostly dressed like little models. None of them talk of happy childhood days.

dlb

I too am lucky enoughto be a stay at home mum of 4.
I wouldnt change it for anything (unless of cause needs ment i had to), i have learnt that i cant do everything i would like to get done each day, but have found making lists and rotas a good way of staying on top of things.
My special rule is.
Whats not done by 7pm doesnt get done, aslong as we are all fed and clothes for next day are ready, forget about other jobs until the morning.
From 7pm onwards this is wind down time, baths, bedtime stories ect and chill out time in front of tv with DH, With a well earnt glass of wine!!!!
Take things slowly, master meal planning and get together some recipes you enjoy cooking and take it from there, you will be surprised how quickly you settle into the new role and the amount of things you learn especially from the old style boards!
Have fun
Donna

lilmisskitkat

Hiya

I agree with all the other posters, its accepting that you dont have to be the 'perfect' housewife that actually makes you a good one. Like someone else said, think about what you'd like your kids to remember about their childhood and having mum at home with them.

Unfortunately i find this really hard to do, i'm always beating myself up about what i dont acheive rather than what i do (esp when i'm ill, i have FM) and it gets me down. Like yesterday, i was supposed to being doing loads of washing and then batch cooking some spag bol to freeze but DD's xmas fair at school is today and she asked if i could make some cakes which i did but then i was so tired (this jellybean is making me more tired than i've ever been in my life) that i didn't do the washing or the spag bol so i felt bad Now logically thinking the look on my DD's face when i gave her the cakes to take in today was worth it but i still felt bad for not getting everything else done too, i think 'well other ppl manage, why can't i?'

I'm trying to take on board all these tips as i dont want to be feeling like a failure for not having a perfect house when i've got a new baby to see to as well cos it will spoil it all for me and i NEED to relax and enjoy this experience after the hell i went through when DD was tiny.

Good luck OP, take care

Kate xxx

Ishtar

Great advice above. The only thing I'd like to add is to keep challenging yourself. For example, I only recently started to menu plan...it's still a bit of a challenge each week to think of what to cook, but it means I've got something to think about.

It's important not to fall into a humdrum routine, especially if you've got little ones - make sure you do something interesting each day, even if it's only a walk to the newsagent/post office.

I'm not quite sure of the best way to put this, but when you're comfortable with what you're doing, think of something else to include...Personally, I feel I've achieved so much more than I thought I would when I first gave up (paid) work. We're saving money every week, because I manage the accounts...something I wouldn't have dreamed of doing when we had a good joint income.

Good luck, and don't ever beat yourself up if you don't get something right. You're only human. Something my mum said to me once was that your housework will still be there when the children have homes of their own.

Take care
D.

beverleyhills

I think that Homemaker is a better title. Enjoy it time will fly.

kethry

I find the spoons concept very useful.. it was originally developed to help someone with a permanent debilitating illness, something like ME, where the effects vary from day to day.. she described it as only having so many spoons.. and jobs that she did would take up X number of spoons. So, on a bad day, if she felt like she only had 15 spoons, and getting up and getting dressed took 5, making a meal took another 5, and going to work took 10, then she wouldn't be going to work that day. (you get the idea.)

I'm not suggesting for one moment that being a stay at home mom/housewife is on the same level as being ill, more that you get to grips with the idea of only having so many spoons, or so much energy/time in a given day to do stuff. And you do the stuff thats important first. That might be sorting out your children, playing with them, and you have no energy/time left for that pile of ironing. Fine, leave it till another day. Another day hubby has an interview: that pile of shirts becomes more important. If you accept that there will *always* be things that are not done, and that sooner or later they will be done, and that things like housework are neverending, then things will be much easier for you.

*huggggggss* and good luck!!

keth (a stay-at-home-housewife, although not mum.. not yet anyway!)
xx

champys

the wonderful thing is: you are your own boss!

i'd love to be a full-time housewife (i might finally become a 'proper' one too), but sadly i am also the family breadwinner.

roll on, retirement.......

frogga

Hey MadsMum it's me Frogga xx:T

I think it's all been said here, but I would like to add my ten pence worth!

I always made a game of doing the chores that had to be done. Give both Tadpoles a duster and get them to help. Mine used to enjoy sorting the washing into whites and colours, playing with the extention on the hoover et.c and they loved cooking. It will take longer but at least you are all together.

My tadpoles are now 11 and 12 and very helpful and almost self sufficent! They do their own sheets, washing up , hoovering et.c . I make a point of NEVER asking them to help , when they offer I always say "oh yes please that would be really really helpful thanks very much" then they love doing it!

If you try and take one day at a time and follow the flylady thread it will help.

Good luck! and remember, the 5 years I had off work with my Tadpoles were the best times ever, but it goes SO quickly! Blink and they'll be gone!