bank accounts in a marriage

dino7019

updated, in our 50s and i am having issues with no personal money as such in that if i want money i have to ask / let spouse know and for me, why should i have to do that, having issues with the "must know everything" syndrome. up to last year we always had money difficulties which are now resolved so would appreciate some of the spare money .
hiya, just wondering what everyone does regarding bank accounts, having a bit of a conflict in the home and would appreciate seeing how other marriages operate their accounts . many thanks if you are able to advise in some way. 

JGB1955

We each have a sole account (at different banks) into which any personal income is paid, then transfer a set monthly amount into a 'joint' account, held with a different bank, for all the household bills.  It's worked fine so far (42 years)!

DiamondLil

We have a joint account into which all income is paid, and all bills are paid from; this account also funds our 'emergency' account and our personal money accounts of which we have one each. It's worked well for (oh lord !) 48 years.

sal_III

Each have separate bank accounts, don't have joint account at all. Some bills are paid by me, some by my wife. 

All funds are considered common/shared, full transparency. I really don't get how people get married, but still can't trust/share their finances with their spouse.

Speedbird676

dino7019 said:

hiya, just wondering what everyone does regarding bank accounts, having a bit of a conflict in the home and would appreciate seeing how other marriages operate their accounts . many thanks if you are able to advise in some way. 

I'd be interested to know both your ages. We are 38 and 33.

We each have our own individual current accounts that our income is paid into. We both have cards on the same credit card account where all of our spending goes and a joint savings account.

Nowadays, as money is much easier to move in an instant, the majority of my friends don't have joint accounts.

Speedbird676

sal_III said:

Each have separate bank accounts, don't have joint account at all. Some bills are paid by me, some by my wife. 

All funds are considered common/shared, full transparency. I really don't get how people get married, but still can't trust/share their finances with their spouse.

Agreed - I don't think there is any right or wrong way as long as there is trust and transparency.

dino7019

have updated the main question.

sal_III

If you feel uncomfortable asking for money all the time, and you have no income yourself, maybe agree with your spouse for a monthly "allowance" or whatever you want to call it which is transferred from the account where your family income is going to an account under your control for you to spend as you see fit.

Or you can start generating income yourself - plenty of options in https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/categories/boost-your-income if for whatever reason you can't go for a "normal" job

EssexExile

Each to their own. In our house it all goes into one big pot & we take out what we need, there is no yours or mine. On the other hand my sister & her husband have completely separate finances. 
Whatever works for you.

colsten

You might find this of interest

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/protecting-against-financial-abuse

dino7019

thankyou everyone for your posts , big help, i agree that every marriage is different and how finances are run, but changes should be able to be made without conflict and fear of it.