Should I send a demand letter from the solicitor?

james86b

Hi folks,
Just looking for some advice here,  so me and my Ex split over 5  years ago,  we have a little boy (6 years old, soon to be 7).
When we split my son was only one and a half, she moved 50 miles away and didn't drive.  Due to the distance , we had agreed that I would take my son every second weekend for two nights and obviously since I had a car, I would do the travelling (I agreed to do this as my son was so young, this would make sense until things had settled down for her, I assumed that I was doing the right thing and that I wouldn't do this for his entire life, but only while he was such a young boy, to help mother out too).  I would also take him for two weeks during the summer and 1 week at christmas period. 
In the last couple of years, I have asked her to take him to me and save me a trip, every now and then. Once a month or so I would be happy with., this would only happen though if I  pushed her and reminded her that I have done all of the travelling for the past several years. 
Now comes the part where I have started asking her to share the travel with me and everything would be 50/50.  Only fair it seems to me, considering I wasn't the one that moved 50 miles away!!!
I recently had a small car crash, but unfortunately my car was written off.  I am not in the financial position just yet to commit to buying another car,  so for the time being I will be walking to work and I am hoping that I may have enough cash to get a decent car in like 4 or 5 months from now.  My sons mother passed her driving test almost two years ago, and when I told her that I might no longer have a car (for the foreseeable future),  I told her, that I would only manage to take my son one weekend of the month, (spending £52 on train fares, while saving for another car),  I asked her to take my son to me on the other weekend of the month and pick him up,  but she has refused to do this.  So I am now going to only see my son once a month, due to her decision.  When I lost my cool with her, she then stopped me from seeing him this weekend just recently.
I was wanting to know if in a demand letter , you can ask for fixed dates for access to your child? And also , is there anything you can put in terms of shared travel, so it's not just one parent doing all the travel? Part of the reason , I want to send this letter, is so that she can't deny me access again in the future.  Can anyone else also share their experiences of having to write a demand letter, for access to children? Also, would anyone know if these demand letters are expensive and/or succesful?  I really don't want to go down this route , but I feel like I can't reason with this person, as they are completely unreasonable, and I don't want to lose my time with my son. 

ZaSa1418

The problem you have is you agreed to do all the travelling at the start , she is going to think well he agreed so you have to do it. You could go to a solicitor and get a letter sent to her about sharing the travel (especially as she is the one who moved away) but she can easily ignore it. You could also find a hallway point and suggest yous meet there for handovers. If she ignores the solicitor then apply to the family court for the contact to be set in stone and you can also address the travelling there

james86b

Thanks for the reply,  I have a lot to consider before going to the solicitor. Unfortunately my circumstances have changed and she is not willing to meet halfway .  

james86b

The only problem we have between us, is that there was nothing contractually agreed between us from the start , about the travelling and sharing of the miles.  Since my circumstances have changed, I asked her if we could split the travel 50/50, which she has refused to do.  This now means that I can only take my son, one weekend of the month now, rather than two.  Can anyone give any advice , on how I approach this and get my son for the two weekends of every month?

Thanks