Moving into a new property, know someone who lives in the set of flats accidentally?

Johndole25

I am moving away from accommodation that is making me ill. I have mental illness that is developed.

I found a flat that isn't ideal as it's on a road but I need to go to get away from neighbours smoke fumes. There are only 4 tenants in the building.

I viewed the property and put down a holding fee and have made all the necessary arrangements to go.

I get coffee (decaf!) nearly every day in a cafe, there is a lady who works there. I have had bad days there many times and have been mentally unwell around her (or so it might seem). I ave gone there every day for over 8 months.

Just today I was walking past the flat and I noticed that a lady whom I see nearly every day who works there walked into the door of the flats I want to move to.

It might not sound strange to you, but the last thing I want to feel like when trying to do well for myself is to feel like some sort of weirdo.

I don't know what to say when I see her, would it be strange to talk to her about it?

It's quite annoying actually because I don't like to know neighbours when I move, as I am very private.

Advise?

hazyjo

You'll probably not see her often. I very rarely bump into neighbours in my street.


Are you seeing a doctor about your mental illness or self diagnosing?

Johndole25

That's what I thought, the initial "why are you here" might be hard for me, because I might behave strangely or seem weird about it.

I see numerous professionals, I will ask them in therapy.

Comms69

Johndole25 wrote: »

That's what I thought, the initial "why are you here" might be hard for me, because I might behave strangely or seem weird about it.

I see numerous professionals, I will ask them in therapy.

If it's that much of an issue find a different place to live

need_an_answer

Why don't you just say hi to her if you see her going in or out of her door.

How much you interact with people is somewhat determined by how much they want to interact with you.

I've got neighbours we used to stop and chat outside when they first moved in,then we would have a chat over the garden fence if we were in the garden...recently we barely get a hello out of them if we see them simply because they are having issues and don't really want to talk...that's fine by us and we respect their decision.

If you are a private person that's your prerogative and there is no reason to change if you don't want to.

Plenty of neighbours never talk to eachother,plenty of neighbours do.

If you want to say hello if you meet in a communal area then do so..if you don't want to then I doubt it will cause her undue offence.

cloo

I think you are overthinking it, probably as a result of your illness. I have a friend with mental health issues who often engages in this sort of overthinking about small things. Do ask your therapists how to cope with worries about this kind of thing, they will know much more than people on a house buying forum (and be more understanding!)


Good luck with your new place and I hope it helps how you feel in the long run.

caprikid1

I think you keep moving to get away from your problems but your problems are in your head so unfortunately you are bringing them with you and unpacking them all over again.

need_an_answer

Johndole25 wrote: »

That's what I thought, the initial "why are you here" might be hard for me, because I might behave strangely or seem weird about it.

I see numerous professionals, I will ask them in therapy.

But why does the initial contact even have to be along the lines of "why are you here?"

do you actually need to know...

You are running all sorts of scenarios through your head at the moment and to be perfectly honest you don't need to involve these thoughts in your day to day life...as someone else said youre probably way overthinking it.

if you want any form of conversation with this lady then just stick to a polite hello as you open a communal door or pass near the building...anything that flourishes from that will happen if she wishes to engage in conversation with you...but I wouldn't push the issue of conversation if you feel uncomfortable with it...as I said in an earlier post not everyone wants to stand and chat and wont take offence if you just want to keep yourself to yourself.

davidmcn

It's really not that much of a coincidence that people who are staff and/or customers of a local cafe might also live in the same block of flats. I wouldn't worry about it.

toniq

Don't worry about the situation till it happens, she might have been visiting a friend etc etc.


If she is one of your new neighbours wait till you have moved in and if you see her just say hello then, if you don't feel up for a conversation just smile as you say hello and keep walking, that is polite and friendly and shows you are off somewhere so don't have to feel forced into a conversation.


Try to see the positives, sometimes it is nice to see a familiar face from time to time.


I hardly ever see my neighbours as we all come and go at different times, so it might not be so bad.


Congrats on the new home.

bucksbloke

I think you are overthinking this. Coincidences happen. How well do you know each other - well enough to have exchanged names? Lots of people in hospitality see so many customers, that they would just forget them outside the store, so she might not even remember you. I would not say anything and if you bump into her in the building - see how it goes - if she recognises you say hello.

By the way, you are not a weirdo, so don't think like that!