The Nice People No. 17

Cakeguts

Doozergirl said:

Cakeguts said:

PN Do you have an app that translates foreign language on your mobile phone that you can use to ask your LL to spend less time in the kitchen? I am sure that you can come up with a reason for this? 

If  not I am sure that someone on here will suggest something.

It's her kitchen, Cakeguts.  That isn't a solution, unfortunately.   It was always shared.  

Something we can't control is other people's behaviour, so we have to adapt our own 😕

I was just wondering if a compromise could be reached?  

In a normal situation like this the LL would have had to allow the lodger time to cook in the kitchen as well.  From what I think I am reading the kitchen is more or less being monopolised by the LL at meal times. 

 

 

ivyleaf

I don't think PN is keen to use the kitchen anyway, it sounds very uninviting 

Cakeguts

ivyleaf said:

I don't think PN is keen to use the kitchen anyway, it sounds very uninviting 

I don't think this is a case of wanting to use the kitchen more a case of a house with paper thin walls and a lot of banging coming from the kitchen for several hours every day with no thought to the lodger who is trying to live a normal life on the other side of the paper thin wall. 

It shows a complete lack of thought on the part of the LL.

Doozergirl

Cakeguts said:

ivyleaf said:

I don't think PN is keen to use the kitchen anyway, it sounds very uninviting 

I don't think this is a case of wanting to use the kitchen more a case of a house with paper thin walls and a lot of banging coming from the kitchen for several hours every day with no thought to the lodger who is trying to live a normal life on the other side of the paper thin wall. 

It shows a complete lack of thought on the part of the LL.

The landlord doesn't know that PN has her speshul traits.  The landlord can't be expected to know that unless she is told.   It isn't fair to call someone selfish for using their own house, especially if they are not aware and don't have the first clue of how someone else feels about it.  

I too have my own anxiety issues and allow my world to be smaller that it should be, to my own detriment.  I run a business but can only answer the phone about 50% of the times it rings, so I'm definitely not coming at this from the angle of behaving in a totally reasonable way about things 😬.  I can't call people selfish for phoning me and freaking me out.  I could ask certain people to only text/email me, for example, but that is a work-around not a solution - it is specifically asking people
to adapt their behaviour instead of me adapt mine.  The solution is that I just need to pick up the f-ing phone. I know that and still don't always do it.  

I hope PN is okay.  

Pyxis

What you say is right Doozer. It is her house and she is entitled to use it.

On the other hand, if I had a new lodger, I would let them know if there was going to be someone else staying for any length of time, especially if it’s a man, as that is only fair and courteous., and possibly with a time span.
I might also say that I would be using the kitchen a lot more than usual, (with a reason), and the lodger to let me know if they wanted to use it and I was in the way. 

The LL does seem to be a bit devoid of social niceties, whether the lodger is speshul or not.

edit.......on the other other hand, as she is devoid of social niceties, she would need to be told how these things are affecting PN, and that’s not easy when you are speshul.

edit edit.....I do get your point about the need to change one’s own behaviour in order to cope.

Cakeguts

I am fascinated to see if the telly with the doily on it works in PN's room.

vivatifosi

I would tell the LL that as I'm staying home social distancing I'm removing the clutter from the room as I need more space to myself. I'd also invest in a pair of noise cancelling headphones. They aren't cheap but could help with the retention of sanity.

Cakeguts

I am at "it" again. My husband has bought me some nice new headphones so that I get the best sound quality.

Doozergirl

Good morning, nice people. 

I wondered if anyone fancied sharing a 'pearl' that they can take from this rather unusual situation.  

I've got a few.  Our house sale is 'on hold' (probably collapsed but the estate agent was being kind, I think) but we are really lucky to be in a house with lots of open space around us and not in a tiny house in the city instead (which is where we would have rented - handy for school, gym, restaurants and friends but not staying in!).  The weather is also glorious for staying at home.  

I've also joined a local facebook group helping people and managed to get a central telephone number set up for us so have been taking calls, collecting prescriptions and shopping for people who can't get out.  It actually feels great to be helping people.  Plus someone gave me wine yesterday ☺️

In return, some people have donated gloves and sanitiser to me to help me when I'm out and about, so I will feel safer today.  

silvercar

OH is working from home for the most part. We have a nice lunch together and then take a walk in the sunshine. Make an effort to go to places we can walk to but haven't bothered before. Yesterday we walked through a local (closed) golf course, normally we are restricted to a public footpath that touches one corner, but without the danger of flying golf balls, we could walk right through it.