Having doubts after offer accepted

danlightbulb

NewShadow said:

danlightbulb said:

I know not to derail thread with market discussion but fundamentally the issue is choice, or lack of. When only one house worth considering comes up every 6 months then it makes it difficult because i cant make direct trade offs against whats available.

I completely agree with Doozer - which isn't unusual... 

I think I and many others have just switched off from your thread because we know you're never going to be satisfied unless/until you stop trying to game the system. 

We know, in the long run, it doesn't matter if this house is a bargain/the best possible compared to something else that might or might not come along - what matters is if this house meets your needs now and for the foreseeable for a fair price. 

i understand this totally, thanks. I do need help but Im not trying to be awkward. I understand why you might be put off but I really do need help. I dont want to be a perfectionist but on such a significant purchase its hard to make compromises. I dont / didnt think I was trying to game the system I just want value for money and not to skint myself.

What are my needs now? Does anyone 'need' a detached yet people want them. Help me rationalise what my needs are, please...

I dont know whether this house meets them or doesnt...

Doozergirl

danlightbulb said:

I know not to derail thread with market discussion but fundamentally the issue is choice, or lack of. When only one house worth considering comes up every 6 months then it makes it difficult because i cant make direct trade offs against whats available.

If there is only one house every six months and none of them are suitable then it is without doubt a matter of price.  You're not looking at some quiet backwater village in the Shires. You're in the middle of the densely populated Black Country which is full of reasonably priced houses.  

You're trying to set the market value, but you can't; it sets itself.   There is certainly more than one 3 bed coming to the market in your aeea every 6 months.   Just not in the price bracket you want it to be. 

It's not us and it's not the houses.  If the right house came up at the right price for you, you wouldn't be marginally interested in our opinions, because you'd deep down know it was somehow underpriced.  

NewShadow

danlightbulb said:

i understand this totally, thanks. I do need help but Im not trying to be awkward. I understand why you might be put off but I really do need help. I dont want to be a perfectionist but on such a significant purchase its hard to make compromises. I dont / didnt think I was trying to game the system I just want value for money and not to skint myself.

What are my needs now? Does anyone 'need' a detached yet people want them. Help me rationalise what my needs are, please...

I dont know whether this house meets them or doesnt...

If you don't know what you want... how on earth are we supposed to know?!

You were given lots of advice on your first thread and then again in the earlier parts of this thread - at this stage, I honestly don't think there's anything anyone not in your brain can say that will make a difference/flip a switch. 

It does, however, seem clear that this house doesn't meet your needs - if so the decent thing to do is to let the seller know first thing in the morning so they can get on with selling the house to someone else while you sort your priorities out on your own time... 

ETA: and I'd recommend not making an offer on a new house until you're sure it's the right one... yes, you might lose it - but if it takes you this long to make your mind up then I'd suggest it's NOT the right one... 

danlightbulb

@NewShadow because surely what I want is the same as 90% of the population? I dont have any extraordinary circumstance that makes me stand out from anyone other than having a few hobbies and being older.
@Doozergirl youre right it is price fundamentally I suppose. I feel that buying is the right decision over renting but i begrudge paying silly money for a crap ex council house. I know that might not be PC but thats what I think. I am looking for VFM.
What is attractive about this house is that it doesnt fit into that box.

NewShadow

danlightbulb said:

@NewShadow because surely what I want is the same as 90% of the population? I dont have any extraordinary circumstance that makes me stand out from anyone other than having a few hobbies and being older.

You also share 90% of your DNA with cats - does that mean you're looking for something sunny with scratching trees? 

You want what you want - what 90% of the population wants is irrelevant - and spending this much time dithering over what other people might think... Martin tells us to be nice, so I'm going to stop there. 

If 90% of the population wanted the same thing then 90% of houses would be identical and people like Doozer would be out of a job

MovingForwards

@danlightbulb if you don't want a crappy ex-council house then you had better start looking into other areas.

Compromise on what is a necessity compared to what would be nice to have.

Keep saving to increase your budget. You are worried about getting priced out, yet it's going to be a risk you have to take.

Look at new builds or look into buying land and getting your ideal house built.

You obviously managed to pick a house out with your ex, well it's time to do it again, on your own and turn a house into a home. Even if it's a crappy ex-council house where you have had a structural engineer in to see how the interior can be reconfigured down the line.

In the meantime, do not see the money you are paying in rent as being dead money, do not count up how much you have spent in rent and will do so over the next 12 months as you continue your search.

At some point you will either (1) have saved up more money (2) found something that is what you want (3) decided enough is enough and you will buy something that ticks enough boxes and can be made into a home.

Perhaps even think about buying something cheap, that's ok for five years, you save on rent, may have a cheap mortgage, will give you time to save and build equity in your temporary home and give you time to think about what is really holding you back.

danlightbulb

If 90% of the houses were identical that would be just fine with me. This problem is caused by inadequate housing stock in terms of size of accommodation and drives/garages.

I just (!) want a normal house like everyone else has. 

Skiddaw1

Thing is, I really don't think there's any such thing as a 'normal house like everyone else has'. You're never going to find the Perfect House (or if you do, you'll be practically unique). We've loved all our houses but none of them ticked every single box on our wish-list.

NewShadow

danlightbulb said:

If 90% of the houses were identical that would be just fine with me. This problem is caused by inadequate housing stock in terms of size of accommodation and drives/garages.

I just (!) want a normal house like everyone else has. 

You have decided this house is inadequate - I, and many others, commented that we liked the house and that the room size/ drive/ layout/ survey weren't a problem. 

You've decided this house doesn't meet your mental template for 'normal' - many others have disagreed and have said it's a perfectly acceptable house as far as they're concerned. 

It seems you don't actually care what the majority might think because you've already made up your mind... so:

1. Stop asking us our opinion; 
2. Write down what makes a 'normal' house; 
3. Don't make an offer on a house until it meets your criteria for 'Normal'... 

Tiglet2

If you still don't know whether this house represents good value for money, I do suggest you pull out before you are any further into the process and let the vendor sell to someone who really wants their property.  Perhaps revisit this in a year's time when you have a better idea what you want and can make a decision without wasting everyone's time and effort in trying to help you.

On the other hand, you could go ahead with this purchase and once you are moved in and started renovating, you will understand what needs to be done and how much it's going to cost.  If you are still unsure in a year's time, then put it up for sale and move on (hopefully it will have increased in value to take into account what you have spent on it and any uplift in property prices).  You might even be able to step up into the next price bracket.