Having doubts after offer accepted

danlightbulb

NewShadow said:

danlightbulb said:

It was a huge financial commitment, buying a house knowing it needs £10k of work pretty much straight away followed by probably another £10k over the next 5 years. I'd have had no emergency fund, no fund for car maintenance.

Whatever we think - you made the right decision for you... I think what you're hearing is a little frustration that it's taken quite so much time/collective energy to get there when most of us knew that's where you'd end up eventually anyway, but you made the decision and that's what's important. 

Now - what you need to do... IMO, of course... is learn from this/build on your new knowledge of what you can and can't live with - and not spend another several months stringing things along to get to the same conclusion... 

I will learn from it most certainly.

Regarding the first point though, yes its taken a while but i was going to be spending £166,000! That is a hell of alot of money and why should I not give such a huge decision the time and diligence it deserves?

I can understand perhaps why you might think the answer was obvious but it really wasn't, £5k either way (in cash terms not mortgage) maybe could have swung it. The very nature of having trade offs to make is a requirement to assess those trade offs, not just make a rash decision.

Yes the vendor now has to put the house on the market again, which is a pain for them I understand that. However in my defense I asked lots of questions at the start about what other buyers' surveys had thrown up and they/the agent didn't give me much information. If they had mentioned if the other surveys had written off the windows and found extensive damp in the bays, then I might not have made an offer. Obviously that is a risk that they took / all agents take in not disclosing things properly and then making it more likely that people pull out if problems are found at survey.

Feels like alot of sellers expect buyers to just take a punt on something, don't disclose important things then get annoyed when buyers find stuff and pull out.

NewShadow

danlightbulb said:

Regarding the first point though, yes its taken a while but i was going to be spending £166,000! That is a hell of alot of money and why should I not give such a huge decision the time and diligence it deserves?

Yup - you have every right to give it as much time as you want/need - but in the same way... those on here have a right to disengage/be less sympathetic as time passes... As has been expressed to you before - there's a fine line between asking for help and acting entitled to receive it on demand... 

Feels like alot of sellers expect buyers to just take a punt on something, don't disclose important things then get annoyed when buyers find stuff and pull out.

...especially given your seeming lack of empathy for the seller who you've strung along because you didn't want to be honest about your lack of willingness to mentally commit. I'm sure some of those sellers you criticise 'get annoyed' with FTBs because they've had similar experiences so now regard us all as difficult and entitled time wasters...

I appreciate you feel pressured and it's a big decision - and you've said 'it's a pain'... but have you spent any time thinking about the impact you've actually had on your seller - given the time you've taken to make your mind up has resulted in them now facing a much more difficult market to sell than if you'd made your mind up a tad faster? 

danlightbulb

I never meant to come across as entitled to receive advice, but I was desperately in need of advice on the matter. As a single person I rely on channels such as this for advice and information because I don't have any sounding boards.

I actually haven't wasted a great deal of time through my uncertainty. The survey took 3 weeks to arrange because of the seller's availability, and then I was spending some time getting quotes for the remedial work. In my withdrawal email to the agent and my subsequent 20 minute conversation with them I apologised and explained my uncertainties and reasoning. The agent was very understanding about it all, obviously i don't know how much of that conversation got passed on to the seller. I do have to be careful about being made to feel guilty about my decision at this point because I do have empathy with the seller here but have to think about my own financial security also. It probably doesn't come across well on a typed forum of strangers but I was disappointed. Finally its no-ones fault about the timing of all this coronavirus problem so its not fair for me to be made to feel guilty about that timing.

This wasn't a decision I made lightly, I am genuinely disappointed to pull out. I have been through a rollercoaster of excitement about the house, interest in the project, thinking about the long term value I could add to the house, followed by fear about the costs involved, over and over. The house just had too many compromises. Probably could have lived with most of them IF i was going to be financially secure but the refurb work involved ruled that out too. 

I can understand why sellers may see buyers as timewasters. They will have an emotional connection to their house that they are selling and perhaps cannot see its flaws in the same way as the fresh eyes of the astute buyer can. All parties trying to get best price as well. Alot of houses on the market have been neglected by the vendors in some areas yet often (as a buyer) it feels like these defects are not very well priced in to the selling price of a house. Although prices keep rising, these are deteriorating assets and do need to be maintained over time. Alot of houses are behind the curve on this and I can understand why because its the same issue that I had with this bungalow, not having £10k spare to throw at it.

NewShadow

danlightbulb said:

As a single person I rely on channels such as this for advice and information because I don't have any sounding boards...

This wasn't a decision I made lightly, I am genuinely disappointed to pull out. I have been through a rollercoaster of excitement about the house, interest in the project, thinking about the long term value I could add to the house, followed by fear about the costs involved, over and over. 

I think that's part of the joys of house hunting.

As I've said - possibly a little harshly - you've made the right decision for you and you hopefully have a better/more realistic idea of what you might accept/have to compromise on when you see something you're considering making an offer on. 

[Said as a single 35yr old FTB buying a house 150 miles away...]