Having doubts after offer accepted

JGB1955

How do you think you would cope with the situation in https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6097437/due-to-complete-next-friday-but-still-havent-exchanged-very-concerned-need-help? I'm really not sure that house buying is right for you until you get some other issues under control.

Bossypants

KBNewby wrote: »

OK, being single is great when buying!! You can be completely selfish in your needs. Ultimately you need somewhere in an area you like, that is affordable enough for you to still be able to live and will cater for your hobbies (which again comes down to location and a bit of space to store stuff!) You can be completely selfish, and as long as it fulfils this criteria the resell value etc is negligible anyway, as anything could happen in the next 5 years.

Honestly, this. As a single person with no kids, buying a house is much easier for me than my friends with families. I don't have to deal with school catchment areas, competing commutes or anyone else's taste. I can be totally selfish and just pick the one that I like and is going to suit me as far as location and size.

Dan, I mean this kindly, but please consider that having a partner and/or kids would not solve the challenges in your life, or help your constant worrying. The only person who can do that is you (possibly with help from a trained professional if you would find it useful - I know I have at times). This whole thing in your head isn't about the house and it isn't about your family situation, it's about you. My suggestion would be to take the weekend and give yourself permission to worry as much as possible. Then, on Monday morning before work, make your decision and either pull out or commit, then move forward with the choice you've made as though you have no ability to pull out outside of extreme scenarios. If you don't, you'll eventually lose the house anyway when the vendors get fed up. Don't let someone else make the choice for you.

benson1980

I can see where you are coming from. Parking is a big deal for a lot of people. We bought a house where the frontage slopes down significantly from the road and had no off street parking. The people selling, had real difficulty doing so because everyone wanted parking (there is always plenty of on street parking by the way), and had to reduce the price by 80k. We took a punt, knowing that sorting out parking would cost 25-30k.

To be honest it was a hassle, and stressful sorting it out. Granted we have two small kids, but the difference between parking on the road, and on your plot knowing you have a space right outside your front door, is invaluable to us and makes life so much easier, and less dangerous with the kids. Even simple things like loading/unloading, checking tyre pressure/oil etc, with cars driving past a few feet away...became a bit challenging, especially when we had been used to having off street parking.

With that house presumably you would need to excavate, and set retaining walls at the back, and I'd measure the frontage carefully to ensure you have the necessary depth, as you will need permission for a dropped kerb. Looks like this is the case from the neighbours house but the back of their parked car is very close to the edge of the pavement.

From what you have said you really want parking. I would get some quotes and ensure the sums add up if this is something you would want to sort after purchase. Lack of parking really grated on us and it was quite nervy waiting for the relevant permissions/permits to come through when they weren't 100% guaranteed, and a builder who would actually take it on. We put our offer in on the proviso that we would be getting quotes and making enquiries regarding building a driveway.

oldernonethewiser

@benson1980 - the house has a garage which mitigates some of the parking issues. Apparently though using this would be a hassle, for some reason.

JGB1955

There are no double (or single) yellow lines outside the house, so no parking issues there...only on the OPs head.

benson1980

oldernonethewiser wrote: »

@benson1980 - the house has a garage which mitigates some of the parking issues. Apparently though using this would be a hassle, for some reason.

To be honest the access doesn't look too great and then you'd have to either walk all the way around or through the long garden.

First world problems but not having an easy parking solution by your front door, off the road, I would say is a significant downside and I can understand were the OP is coming from. It's obviously important to him as it's the main negative point that he's mentioned.

oldernonethewiser

benson1980 wrote: »

To be honest the access doesn't look too great and then you'd have to either walk all the way around or through the long garden.

First world problems but not having an easy parking solution by your front door, off the road, I would say is a significant downside and I can understand were the OP is coming from. It's obviously important to him as it's the main negative point that he's mentioned.

There appears to be nothing stopping parking at the front.


I hope the vendors are reading all this and decide to knock back his offer and tell him to go forth and multiply. He is being most inconsiderate.

danlightbulb

Benson1980 is right, the back access is awkward. It's about 2.5m wide, wall to wall directly between two houses. Its an unadopted lane with stone and potholes, leading to a back access that is at the other end of the garden of the house behind a large wooden heavy gate.

I*m surprised out of everyone here that Benson1980 is the only one that appears to recognise that parking is an issue in general for people. Perhaps if all you're used to is trying to fight for a space outside your own house then I can see why this might not bother you.

@JGB1955 yes I have issues, big fked up issues. I've lost 3 children in my life after 2 serious relationship break ups and I'm single and 40. Is it any wonder I don't want to fail again. I don't want to let these vendors down. My reason for posting here was to desperately try and find reasons to push through with this house and to be convinced my worries are not serious ones. Instead of chiming in on page 7 maybe offer some suggestions on how I can make this house overcome the limitations I am referring to so that I can proceed with it. Unless, that is, you fundamentally believe it is not a great house in which case say so. Maybe you are lucky and have lots of people to get advice from, I have no one.

@bossypants. I want to like this house. I want to make it work. I'm not deliberately trying to annoy people or screw over vendors. With respect, if you've never had kids you won't know how it feels to lose them. I'm in a rental place and all I have is my memories of 10 years here with my kids growing up, playing outside with the ball etc. That loss is unbearable and I'm trying to move on with my life and get somewhere for myself so I don't end up old and poor and dead. All I ever did, as a younger man, was try and provide somewhere good for my young family to live in. Now I only have to think about myself and its not natural. if I was doing this with someone else I would be making compromises all over the place to make them happy. But because its just me, there is no reason for doing it except my future financial security.

As far as the vendors go, yes I'd be embarrassed if they read this. But I'm not holding up the process right now. My mortgage application is in and i've sent off all the documents. I have noone else to ask for advice except an internet forum and that is pathetic but I have no choice.

benson1980

The house looks nice otherwise. Strange how the listing doesn’t have a photo of the garden, which presumably is it’s best feature bearing in mind size and orientation. Looks like houses rarely come up for sale on that road which again is another good sign.

If you can sort parking on what is quite a small frontage, and do what looks like a pretty straightforward renovation it would be a nice house. I’d just make sure the outlay to do all this isn’t more than the house would be worth I.e you couldn’t have just bought something nicer in the first place. Therefore as said I’d get some quotes for this in particular as excavating and retaining walls won’t be cheap. Objectively speaking, from doing a quick search it looks like it’s this or some rather ordinary 3 bed semis, some with small gardens. There is one nice bungalow which is oieo 200k. I’d be comparing with that one to make sure I wasn’t over spending on your choice. This as said is from a very quick search and I don’t know the area at all.

Skiddaw1

danlightbulb wrote: »

Benson1980 is right, the back access is awkward. It's about 2.5m wide, wall to wall directly between two houses. Its an unadopted lane with stone and potholes, leading to a back access that is at the other end of the garden of the house behind a large wooden heavy gate.

I*m surprised out of everyone here that Benson1980 is the only one that appears to recognise that parking is an issue in general for people. Perhaps if all you're used to is trying to fight for a space outside your own house then I can see why this might not bother you.

@JGB1955 yes I have issues, big fked up issues. I've lost 3 children in my life after 2 serious relationship break ups and I'm single and 40. Is it any wonder I don't want to fail again. I don't want to let these vendors down. My reason for posting here was to desperately try and find reasons to push through with this house and to be convinced my worries are not serious ones. Instead of chiming in on page 7 maybe offer some suggestions on how I can make this house overcome the limitations I am referring to so that I can proceed with it. Unless, that is, you fundamentally believe it is not a great house in which case say so. Maybe you are lucky and have lots of people to get advice from, I have no one.

@bossypants. I want to like this house. I want to make it work. I'm not deliberately trying to annoy people or screw over vendors. With respect, if you've never had kids you won't know how it feels to lose them. I'm in a rental place and all I have is my memories of 10 years here with my kids growing up, playing outside with the ball etc. That loss is unbearable and I'm trying to move on with my life and get somewhere for myself so I don't end up old and poor and dead. All I ever did, as a younger man, was try and provide somewhere good for my young family to live in. Now I only have to think about myself and its not natural. if I was doing this with someone else I would be making compromises all over the place to make them happy. But because its just me, there is no reason for doing it except my future financial security.

As far as the vendors go, yes I'd be embarrassed if they read this. But I'm not holding up the process right now. My mortgage application is in and i've sent off all the documents. I have noone else to ask for advice except an internet forum and that is pathetic but I have no choice.

Dan, I think you're a little depressed at the moment (hardly surprising in view of your back story). It must have been very hard to lose your kids (I hope the time will come when you're in contact with them again- it tends to get easier as they grow older and able to make their own decisions) but you're only 40- that's nowt- and you're heaps too young to be contemplating being alone in your dotage. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to seek a wee bit of help (therapy might be really beneficial) because I do think the house stuff is a manifestation of how negative and low you're feeling.


I'd like to think there will come a time when you'll read back over this thread in your lovely new house with a lovely new partner at your side and find it hard to remember how you felt way back then....