Debt issues amongst others.

floorspeed_2

Kitten868 said:

Amazing work cutting down your creditors! Sorry you're so overwhelmed. I hope this week will be better for you xxx

Thanks kitten868 

Sarahwithlove

floorspeed_2 said:

Sarahwithlove said:

I'd pay off the amazon credit card as its highest interest and one less to pay. When are your minimum payments due? How much are you looking to save for rent? Also is your gf sorting out her own money yet and saving up? You can't be the only one saving up for the future rent and looking t9 make changes otherwise you are going to end up continuously bailing her out or paying for things. 

Once you have paid off the amazon credit card I would look to put the remainder in an emergency Fund. I think because you get paid weekly you can have slightly less of an emergency Fund then the rest of us but I would say ideally save up £500 if possible. Could you miss a few weeks rent savings payment to give you that buffer and then go back to saving more up again. 

PayPal credit is 11th March
amazon credit card is 2nd March (paid)
capital one credit card is 28th feb ( paid)
bamboo loans is/was weekly

Looking to have around 3k rent saved and in turn save 3k for myself in my bank.

my girlfriend has been a bit depressed recently so I haven’t nudged her in anyway in regards to finance. So no she hasn’t been saving and not tackling her debt.

I do agree with saving £500 in a emergency fund maybe have 3k saved in my large fund and £500 saved in my medium one and couple hundred in my small one for silly emergencies or unaccounted outgoings.

i think it’s a red line in my eyes in regards to the rent savings as I wish to continue doing it every week as a habit.

i believe my girlfriends credit cards have around 8-9k on them and many times I have asked to help her and she has refused. I know she puts her head in the sand in regards to that and other things,  I have done so in the past myself with financial issues.

i mean I know once my debts are paid off we have more options on what we could do so I am letting the rent money stack up and if she says she’s using any of it for other things outside of what we want to do  I think I am going to have to step in and say some thing. 

Anyways thanks again Sarah for the questions and advice on emergency fund I will hopefully action that this Friday when I get paid again.

The problem is that it's going to be a vicious circle for your girlfriend if she doesn't make steps to pull herself out. Has she been to the doctor for any help or looked at local support services as a lot you can self refer to now. 

My biggest concern is for you, at the moment you are the only one saving for the rent. Which is great that you are saving it but it's not in an account in your name. What if something happens between you and your girlfriend? You will be back to square one, still have debts to settle which this money could have gone towards paying. Also she will have the money you have made sacrifices to save and it seems like at the moment she isn't willing to make changes to her lifestyle for it. I don't want to be a pessimist and I really hope it works out for you but I have seen too many people be burned. 

Kitten868

Hope this week is treating you better. Friday will certainly be a good day for creditor busting. I'm sure you can jig things about so you can be back to your support and supporting your gf sooner rather than later. Keep focusing on the plan and you'll get there xxx

floorspeed_2

Sarahwithlove said:

floorspeed_2 said:

Sarahwithlove said:

I'd pay off the amazon credit card as its highest interest and one less to pay. When are your minimum payments due? How much are you looking to save for rent? Also is your gf sorting out her own money yet and saving up? You can't be the only one saving up for the future rent and looking t9 make changes otherwise you are going to end up continuously bailing her out or paying for things. 

Once you have paid off the amazon credit card I would look to put the remainder in an emergency Fund. I think because you get paid weekly you can have slightly less of an emergency Fund then the rest of us but I would say ideally save up £500 if possible. Could you miss a few weeks rent savings payment to give you that buffer and then go back to saving more up again. 

PayPal credit is 11th March
amazon credit card is 2nd March (paid)
capital one credit card is 28th feb ( paid)
bamboo loans is/was weekly

Looking to have around 3k rent saved and in turn save 3k for myself in my bank.

my girlfriend has been a bit depressed recently so I haven’t nudged her in anyway in regards to finance. So no she hasn’t been saving and not tackling her debt.

I do agree with saving £500 in a emergency fund maybe have 3k saved in my large fund and £500 saved in my medium one and couple hundred in my small one for silly emergencies or unaccounted outgoings.

i think it’s a red line in my eyes in regards to the rent savings as I wish to continue doing it every week as a habit.

i believe my girlfriends credit cards have around 8-9k on them and many times I have asked to help her and she has refused. I know she puts her head in the sand in regards to that and other things,  I have done so in the past myself with financial issues.

i mean I know once my debts are paid off we have more options on what we could do so I am letting the rent money stack up and if she says she’s using any of it for other things outside of what we want to do  I think I am going to have to step in and say some thing. 

Anyways thanks again Sarah for the questions and advice on emergency fund I will hopefully action that this Friday when I get paid again.

The problem is that it's going to be a vicious circle for your girlfriend if she doesn't make steps to pull herself out. Has she been to the doctor for any help or looked at local support services as a lot you can self refer to now. 

My biggest concern is for you, at the moment you are the only one saving for the rent. Which is great that you are saving it but it's not in an account in your name. What if something happens between you and your girlfriend? You will be back to square one, still have debts to settle which this money could have gone towards paying. Also she will have the money you have made sacrifices to save and it seems like at the moment she isn't willing to make changes to her lifestyle for it. I don't want to be a pessimist and I really hope it works out for you but I have seen too many people be burned. 

I will have been with my girlfriend for 2 years this March and I can read people very well some more than they know and I am fully faithful and put my full trust in my girlfriend. I did ask her the other day if she had touched any of the money in her savings account and she hadn’t. She’s already been buying items for the place we are going to move into in which we have found now.

luckily the rent isn’t too high and it’s in a pretty decent location which is half way from one end of my family to the other on both sides. I am excited to be taking this risk! I feel like I have spent the majority of my adult life abstaining from life it’s self and want to go ahead and start living it and spending it with her.

i do see your posts regularly of going too football matches and catching up with friends which is a lot more than what I have done in the past. So this also puts me back into my support network in regards to gambling which will be good to get back too and catch up with some lost people like myself who want to recover and turn that abstaining from life to abstaining from gambling.

yes my girlfriend does have a few problems money wise and maybe when I get back (short break) next I can sit down and chat to her about it with a pen and paper ( or excel sheet) and break down what can be done. Yes she puts her head in the sand and this opportunity for us both can hopefully lift ourselves into another position. I don’t like going into the details of why this is positive for her and me... it’s just some thing we need to do and restructure are lives.

i am a pretty smart guy when needs are a must and I believe everything will be ok.

i am just grateful I have some one to share my life with.

thanks for the reply

———————

6th March action plan

Total pay £696.49

£55 hotel

£52 contacts

£54.89 bamboo loans

£40 PayPal credit

£250 flat items

£100 birthday gift.

£144.6 to pay off other debt

Sarahwithlove

I really hope it works out for you. It's good you have found somewhere for you to live together that's going to be near your support network. You should definitely reach out too people and reestablish friendships. Debt busting doesn't mean you have to stop living.

I totally get how easy it is to Bury our head in the sand, that's how I got into debt, after my mum died I just did what I wanted, brought what I wanted, and didn't budget in the slightest. I pretended it was fine and was in total denial about how much debt I had got myself into. I hope you can reach out to your girlfriend and help her with a plan of action because its the best thing I have done for my mental health. 

floorspeed_2

Sarahwithlove said:

I really hope it works out for you. It's good you have found somewhere for you to live together that's going to be near your support network. You should definitely reach out too people and reestablish friendships. Debt busting doesn't mean you have to stop living.

I totally get how easy it is to Bury our head in the sand, that's how I got into debt, after my mum died I just did what I wanted, brought what I wanted, and didn't budget in the slightest. I pretended it was fine and was in total denial about how much debt I had got myself into. I hope you can reach out to your girlfriend and help her with a plan of action because its the best thing I have done for my mental health. 

thank you Sarah for the kind thoughts and the important points also. I think you are doing great yourself Sarah and you are trying hard to tackle your own debt mountain whilst living life too which is fantastic by the way. ( I was reading your thread and good luck with no takeaways) I mean I truly hope you are coping better with the loss of your mum.

I have asked my girlfriend tonight too produce a list of her situation to me in person when I am back. I think she pretends it’s fine and it is too some degree but I am going to have to put it into context whilst also showing how manageable it can be with a plan and being aware of it. I am willing to help her but she doesn’t like taking my financial help which I am willing to give.

i will have too approach this carefully and calculated in a way that’s positive for her and positive for me in the long term with her.
i am currently in a position where I can wipe a big chuck of her debt away and I know it would be much harder when I get back.

anyways my positives so far on my thread:

1. 5.8k debt is now 2.3k debt
2. £1250 saved for deposit and first months rent and a future living with my girlfriend.
3. The end in sight in terms of debt
4. Not gambling
5. Reintroduction too steak pizza (private quest)  ( if anyone knows of any pizzeria in the uk that does steak pizza, please let me know) 

Overall I am just going to keep on cracking on and working towards bettering myself inline with my future.

Sarahwithlove

floorspeed_2 said:

Sarahwithlove said:

I really hope it works out for you. It's good you have found somewhere for you to live together that's going to be near your support network. You should definitely reach out too people and reestablish friendships. Debt busting doesn't mean you have to stop living.

I totally get how easy it is to Bury our head in the sand, that's how I got into debt, after my mum died I just did what I wanted, brought what I wanted, and didn't budget in the slightest. I pretended it was fine and was in total denial about how much debt I had got myself into. I hope you can reach out to your girlfriend and help her with a plan of action because its the best thing I have done for my mental health. 

thank you Sarah for the kind thoughts and the important points also. I think you are doing great yourself Sarah and you are trying hard to tackle your own debt mountain whilst living life too which is fantastic by the way. ( I was reading your thread and good luck with no takeaways) I mean I truly hope you are coping better with the loss of your mum.

I have asked my girlfriend tonight too produce a list of her situation to me in person when I am back. I think she pretends it’s fine and it is too some degree but I am going to have to put it into context whilst also showing how manageable it can be with a plan and being aware of it. I am willing to help her but she doesn’t like taking my financial help which I am willing to give.

i will have too approach this carefully and calculated in a way that’s positive for her and positive for me in the long term with her.
i am currently in a position where I can wipe a big chuck of her debt away and I know it would be much harder when I get back.

anyways my positives so far on my thread:

1. 5.8k debt is now 2.3k debt
2. £1250 saved for deposit and first months rent and a future living with my girlfriend.
3. The end in sight in terms of debt
4. Not gambling
5. Reintroduction too steak pizza (private quest)  ( if anyone knows of any pizzeria in the uk that does steak pizza, please let me know) 

Overall I am just going to keep on cracking on and working towards bettering myself inline with my future.

Thank you. I definitely have more good days then bad days now. It will be two years in April and it's gone so quickly. The first year was very much a blur due to selling our house and buying my flat and doing all the work on it that needed doing. Even now I keep finding problems that need sorting. Very frustrating but I know once I get it sorted it will be worth it. I've resigned myself to the fact that I will be here for next 4 years at least and trying to make the best of the situation. 

I think that's a great plan of action for you're girlfriend, even if you just help her highlight the best way to tackle the debt and get herself on a realistic budget it's better then nothing. Would she consider allowing you to loan money to her so that it can be interest free and she just have one monthly repayment? Quite often people find that budgeting several minimum repayments is what makes it difficult to get out of the hole. I was very much the same as your gf i thought I am making the minimum repayments each month and it's 0% interest so it's fine. And it was until that ended and I had to do a balance transfer on it. I was lucky a chunk was 0% and remainder at 1.5% but it was the wake up call I needed.

You have done so well with the debt busting that's quite a chunk gone and more importantly you haven't added to it through gambling. You should be very proud of yourself. 

floorspeed_2

Sarahwithlove said:

floorspeed_2 said:

Sarahwithlove said:

I really hope it works out for you. It's good you have found somewhere for you to live together that's going to be near your support network. You should definitely reach out too people and reestablish friendships. Debt busting doesn't mean you have to stop living.

I totally get how easy it is to Bury our head in the sand, that's how I got into debt, after my mum died I just did what I wanted, brought what I wanted, and didn't budget in the slightest. I pretended it was fine and was in total denial about how much debt I had got myself into. I hope you can reach out to your girlfriend and help her with a plan of action because its the best thing I have done for my mental health. 

thank you Sarah for the kind thoughts and the important points also. I think you are doing great yourself Sarah and you are trying hard to tackle your own debt mountain whilst living life too which is fantastic by the way. ( I was reading your thread and good luck with no takeaways) I mean I truly hope you are coping better with the loss of your mum.

I have asked my girlfriend tonight too produce a list of her situation to me in person when I am back. I think she pretends it’s fine and it is too some degree but I am going to have to put it into context whilst also showing how manageable it can be with a plan and being aware of it. I am willing to help her but she doesn’t like taking my financial help which I am willing to give.

i will have too approach this carefully and calculated in a way that’s positive for her and positive for me in the long term with her.
i am currently in a position where I can wipe a big chuck of her debt away and I know it would be much harder when I get back.

anyways my positives so far on my thread:

1. 5.8k debt is now 2.3k debt
2. £1250 saved for deposit and first months rent and a future living with my girlfriend.
3. The end in sight in terms of debt
4. Not gambling
5. Reintroduction too steak pizza (private quest)  ( if anyone knows of any pizzeria in the uk that does steak pizza, please let me know) 

Overall I am just going to keep on cracking on and working towards bettering myself inline with my future.

Thank you. I definitely have more good days then bad days now. It will be two years in April and it's gone so quickly. The first year was very much a blur due to selling our house and buying my flat and doing all the work on it that needed doing. Even now I keep finding problems that need sorting. Very frustrating but I know once I get it sorted it will be worth it. I've resigned myself to the fact that I will be here for next 4 years at least and trying to make the best of the situation. 

I think that's a great plan of action for you're girlfriend, even if you just help her highlight the best way to tackle the debt and get herself on a realistic budget it's better then nothing. Would she consider allowing you to loan money to her so that it can be interest free and she just have one monthly repayment? Quite often people find that budgeting several minimum repayments is what makes it difficult to get out of the hole. I was very much the same as your gf i thought I am making the minimum repayments each month and it's 0% interest so it's fine. And it was until that ended and I had to do a balance transfer on it. I was lucky a chunk was 0% and remainder at 1.5% but it was the wake up call I needed.

You have done so well with the debt busting that's quite a chunk gone and more importantly you haven't added to it through gambling. You should be very proud of yourself. 

Yeah I think she’s starting to get her backside in gear at the moment With other things and hopefully it should fall nicely in place with a plan of action which could mean me being here for a little longer and borrowing some money off me to pay debts just so it makes it a bit easier.

thanks again for the supportive messages I better do my weekly update.

floorspeed_2

March 6th 

Total pay £696.49

£55 hotel (will have to pay on arrival)

£53.99 flight ✅ 

£51.78 contacts ✅ 

£54.89 bamboo loans ✅ 

£250 flat items ✅ 

£100 birthday gift. ✅ 

£74.90 capital one credit card ✅ 

£66.33 E cigarette items ✅
£44.79 living allowance ✅ 

Debt payments this week: £129.79
Outstanding debt
£1002.14 PayPal credit
£993.20 capital one credit card
£180.12 bamboo loans

Total outstanding debt: £2175.46
Total rent savings: £1500

i had a bit of a deduction on pay this week due to a error the previous week. Next weeks will be a nice chunk to hit either my capital one card or PayPal credit. A bit gutted I didn’t pay off more this week but I had too book another flight due to a cancellation so I kind of have 2 flights back to Germany over two days for emergencies. Also had to buy some items for my E cigarette which I will pick up when I am back.

i am thinking that I may need to save some cash next week for when I do go back probably around £250-£300 as a emergency pot for items I need. That will leave me with around £500 to chuck on either card or wipe out my bamboo loan.

overall not much to report other than me and my girlfriend have found a place to rent now and will be going through the formalities when I am back... it’s rather exciting and I am looking forward to it. I will need to up my game in saving some money to get some of the desired items for the flat but my main focus is debt busting so it’s going to be a bit of a balance for now.

anyways I hope everyone has a good week next week and take care.

Sarahwithlove

I'm glad your gf is letting you help with the debt busting it will be worth it for both of you in the long run. Were your flights with a certain company that's just gone bust? I used to use them to fly to Germany all time as was so much easier, hope someone else steps in and takes over their flights. What are you in Germany for? Are u in the forces? 
You seem to be coping well with being paid weekly, fingers crossed you can pay another chunk off next week. Hope you enjoy your time back in UK with your gf