Deadbeat Husband

Joco75

As the subject heading already states my husband is a bit of a deadbeat, yes he works and works hard but spends most of his money in either the betting shop or the pub. His New Year resolution was to spend less time in the pub, put his family first more and be a better dad. So far he’s let me down 4 times, when I say let me down I mean he just doesn’t come home from work, doesn’t answer his phone then strolls in at whatever time he wants leaving me to juggle our two children (4 & 8months). I work full time and I’m currently not well running a fever some nights of 39+.
I have either only just admitted it to myself or just realised that he is never going to change.

We split up last year for 6 months and during that time he ran up lots of payday loan debt, all registered to our family home address. During that time however I did move the mortgage into just my name so I’m pretty sure the house is safe.

My question is, if/when we split up again, how can I unregister him from this address to stop him running up debt against it?

Thanks and sorry for the rant!

Primrose

I'm sorry the realities seem to have caught up with you. Have you separated all your finances and is your salary paid into a bank account solely in your name? If not I would consider doing this and keep yiur credit card well away from him too.

Have you sat down and had another serious discussion about the state of your marriage. Can you afford the mortgage and home running expenses on your own? You obviously cant stop him running up more debt but possibly the Citizens Advice Bureau if you have one nearby can advise you on how to protect yourself from any liability, or one of th debt threads on this forum.

Meanwhile if you're unwell I suggest you concentrate your efforts on looking after yourself and yiur children who must be exhausting at that age, and let him cook his own meals and do his own laundry so that a dose of reality starts to catch up with him. Sounds as if counselling may not make any difference if he,s already let you down once.

Is he bringing any income to the household or is it all going on paying down his debts?

PrettyKittyKat

As long as your name isn't on the debts then that fact they are registered to your address doesn't meant anything. Addresses aren't 'blacklisted' and if a bailiff happened to show up you would just need to evidence that he longer lives there. By this time though you would have returned all letters to sender with 'person no longer at address' and any forwarding address on it.

As Primrose says above - ensuring all financial products (bank account, utilities, credit cards) are just in your name and not joint would be wise. Your credit files will be 'connected' for some times due to recent joint products however in time this would be removed.

gettingtheresometime

Is the house in joint names?

Joco75

Thank you everyone for your responses, our finances are already seperate and the mortgage is only in my name however with the solicitor when we signed the deeds the house is 50/50 although I would have no problem him signing it over to me as he wouldn't want any of it anyway as that is where his children live.
We have no joint accounts and all of the bills come out of my account and I can cover them with my own salary with a little left over for food so even though it would be a struggle I could afford to live without him.

On a personal note, we had a brief conversation this morning where I stated that I wouldn't be putting up with his behaviour for another 10 years so we are going to have a serious chat about it tonight. For me, marriage is for life and if there is a chance we can salvage it then I'll take it but I'm not going to be a doormat for the rest of my life

Thank you for your responses, they have been really helpful and if the worst happens then I will certainly contact my solicitor about the house and CAB with regards to protecting myself from any future incurred debt.

Savvy_Sue

Joco75 wrote: »

On a personal note, we had a brief conversation this morning where I stated that I wouldn't be putting up with his behaviour for another 10 years so we are going to have a serious chat about it tonight. For me, marriage is for life and if there is a chance we can salvage it then I'll take it but I'm not going to be a doormat for the rest of my life

sounds like you've got your head screwed on. couple of things: could be worth you going to Relate, and if he won't come with you, then go on your own. Also, where's the money from these payday loans going? Is he gambling? Alcoholic? Drugs? There are organisations which can support you in coming to terms and dealing with it, again even if he won't engage.

Accountant_Kerry

He sounds like he needs to grow up, you left him already and he hasn't changed. Good Luck x

TBagpuss

If the house is 50/50 then his creditors could potentially get judgements against him if he fails to pay his debts, and then seek to register and enforce those against his 50% interest in the property.

It would be in your interests to get a formal separation agreement done and a transfer of the property - but bear in mind that the trnasfer could be set aside if he then goes bankrupt, - however, if you have an order within divorce proceedings then as long as he is not bankrupt at the time of the order, and doesn't go bankrupt as a result of it, I do not think it could be set aside.

Are you sure he is still on the deeds? It is very unusual to have a mortgage in one person's name where the property is in joint names.

Primrose

I don't know whether it will be any comfort to you that it was announced today that effective 14 April, the Gambling Commission are banning all gambling using credit cards. If your husband has been running into debt via this method it may at least make it a little more difficult for him to get I to debt via this route.

Plasticfreemama

Hope things are better at home, but please put your children and yourself first. Sometimes people need a wake up call but until he is confident he can get away with this type of behaviour, he will never change. good luck