Separation stalemate

Good morning all.
And this is 1st ever post here.

My wife of 20 yrs and I separated around 10 months ago, as I could no longer live with emotional abuse. We have an 18yr old lass who is in her 1st year at Uni.
My wife continues to live-in the marital home, for which I am continuing to pay almost all bills plus mortgage for! Since she only works 2days per week, and when we split our daughter was still living at home and was 17.
I have tried to come to a separation agreement via my solicitors but my ex will not engage in discussion. I have also given a detailed asset/debt list to her and my solicitors showing where we need to be once we divorce in wat I hope will be a few months, with us having a 50%50% share on everything. But still she will not engage in discussions. I am trying to keep costs down with solicitor, as I know how these things can spiral and we'd both end up with nothing!

Its now a new year and I want to get on with my life. I have since met someone else and hopefully will be moving in with them in due course since we have really hit it off. (Irrelevant I know but I cannot continue to fund two lives!)

What can I do to force the situation more with my ex?

Thanks in advance.


  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    At the minute not a lot. You can stop paying bills though. As there is no negative impact on you from that angle - just close the accounts if in your name.
  • Ok, billwise it's only electric, home & building insurances, plus life insurances.

    But what will I have to do to progress?
  • I'm in early stages of looking at separation and the above issue is why I'm thinking divorce may be more suitable. Why did you opt for separation?
  • To get my ex out of the house and sell and receive my half of the equity I had to go through the rigmarole of going to court -3 hearings and as I knew he would be pushed it to the very bitter end. It cost me a lot of money (around £18k) and took about two years of mediation failing then the court process and then the judge gave him an additional year in the house before it had to go on the market.

    I hadn’t lived in the property since 2008 and it sold in April 2018. Also an abusive relationship and it took so long for me to take him to court because I just couldn’t afford it.

    Good luck - it’s a massive pain when someone refuses to leave or discuss or sell or buy you out ��
    £2 Savers Club 2020 no. 9
  • Because Amble100, I thought it would be easier and cheaper doing it this way😔.

    Thanks Molly, sounds like she may want to go down the same route! Cost us both ££££'s.
  • My cousin avoided court, but it took 10 years to get his spouse to sell up & give him what he was asking for (15%). And she only did that because she decided to move. No children involved. He made the mistake of believing her each time she said she'd do something. I'll have to ask him how much it cost him financially. From what I understand, Court is expensive but at least there's a schedule & agenda set by the court, and if there's any instance of physical threats (which my cousin received from her new man) or dragging heels or hiding information, the court would presumably address it.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 341.8K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.7K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 234K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 606.2K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.5K Life & Family
  • 246.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards