The Secret of Getting Ahead is Getting Started

Jox

5 months since made redundant, have enough money to last another few months, am spending approx £2.5k a month on mortgage, bills and living expenses. OH has given me some money too. 
Am home schooling my son, it's been a year now, did apply for him to go back to school at OH's request and he's on the waiting list for our preferred school. My son and I are quite happy with the home schooling though and go out a lot and had a few days by the seaside which was lovely.
I had a party for my birthday and my OH painted the wall tiles in the kitchen, put new floor tiles down, painted the living room to spruce the place up before we had the guests round. I've been watching "My home made perfect" on bbc iplayer, I'd really love an extension as my kitchen is small galley kitchen.
My dad is in Cyprus and asked if me and my son would go there for a while, I'll see if we can do that.
My OH didn't drink for a few months but is back on it and can't limit himself to one or 2 once he starts, then he is frequently ill with colds and can't go to work.
I'd like to sell the house and split the money so we can go our own ways but there's an early repayment charge of £13k plus I wouldn't like my son to be somewhere else for half the time so I cope with things as best I can!

Jox

It's been ages since I updated!
My son and I went to Cyprus in October 2021 and came back after just over a month. I didn't spend a lot, the flights were about  £500 for the 2 of us return and in Cyprus my dad cooked at home everyday so I spent about £100 a week on food shopping and some meals out.
My son's school said he could start in January.
My son and his dad went away for Christmas and I had 3 weeks by myself to declutter. But on my first night alone I saw a mouse in the house so three weeks were spent trying to deal with that, but the mouse is still around months later!
In Nov, my son's dad and I had a falling out and he's decided to divorce me, which I'm fine with as I've been telling him to leave for years due to his drinking and staying out all night and not giving me much money.
We got married in his country in 2008 and he went there in January to start the divorce proceedings.
We've agreed my son and I will stay in the house and I'll pay the mortgage with some contributions from him until I decide to sell it and I will give him his share or some money at least.
I applied for remote jobs in January when my son started school and found a part time job for 3 months which I'm really enjoying. Not making a lot of money, about £1200 a month, so will need to find ways to supplement my income, maybe a lodger or become a foster carer or find a better paid job. 
My son is my number 1 priority and not living with an unreliable alcoholic will be better for both of us, though of course my son will be upset when his dad moves out. We'll broach that when it becomes a reality.
I'm not really sure where I am with debts, it's around £13k , paying minimum payments, will have to clear that bit by bit!

Humdinger1

@Jox well done on fixing an impossible situation.  Better times lie ahead and I'm looking forward to being on your journey.   Love Humdinger x 

Jox

Thank you so much! I'm seeing a bit of light at the end of the tunnel....not quite there yet, but closer!

Jox

I got an email from Bulb saying monthly DD is going up to £177, was about £80 last year, I called them and they said I can pay for what I use every month instead so I guess this will be lower now it's getting warmer but once winter 2022 comes around there will be a shock in store! I'm turning off lights and pulling out plugs and only putting the heating on for a few hours in the evening and only clothes washing once or twice a week, trying to be economical!

I was shopping at my local small C0-op cos it's walking distance, but so expensive, did a shop at Ald1 for half the price. Oat milk in c0-op was £1.60 and 85p in Ald1!

OH hasn't moved out yet, he says he hasn't found anything, hopefully soon, it's not a nice situation for me!

Jox

Ex OH moved out a month ago, he's renting for the same price as our mortgage, he's having an education in the real world now, he was buying £100 shoes and clothes weekly when he was home with me, don't know if he'll still do that. He comes round every day to see our son. I can tell he's still drinking, he's hungover and naps on the sofa. I wanted him to move out so I wouldn't have to see that behaviour!

I've got 2 jobs from home and I bought a 2nd hand tuk tuk style bike for £100 to take my son to school and back on, I'm frugal and managing so far.

Will tackle the debts asap, been burying my head in the sand while dealing with relationship break up.

Been keep an eye on energy usage, heating is off and hot water gets switched on every few days, having cold showers and my son isn't a fan of having a shower anyway so he's happy having a wash a few days a week. If he needs a shower I put the hot water on, he will always come first! Been spending about £3 a day on elec and gas even with being frugal.

My sis in law bought me an air fryer, she left it on my doorstep as a surprise, I was so touched, it's a great present!

I have a spare bedroom so might get a lodger or become a foster carer, thinking of my options. My priorities are my son, earning enough to pay for mortgage, bills and everything we need and paying off debts - about £13k.

At some point in the next few years I'll sell the house and split the money with ex OH, I probably won't be able to afford another house, but who knows what the future brings, we can't make too many plans, expect the unexpected!

Jox

Now I have a full time permanent job I can start to tackle the debts. I've been part time temping for them since May but have started full time 13th June, not sure when pay day is though. Getting paid the same as my job I got made redundant from in 2021, happy with the salary.

I added up the credit card debts today, £9,900. I added up the interest on one of the credit cards spent over the past 18 months £700 - eek! I took my eye off the ball there!. I have £5k in Hargreaves L which I will pay off one of the credit cards off £2100, then no more interest to give to them! I was a bit silly to have savings while having credit card debt.

But on a positive note I have paid £12,000 off the mortgage in that time. Mortgage is at £199,353. I overpay about £100 a month. 

I'm being very frugal with the gas and elec, spending about £1.60 a day if not putting the hot water on and £2.60 if the hot water is on. Cold showers!

My mum's cat had a broken leg and she's had to pay £700 for what isn't covered by the insurance. I've just paid £235 towards it.

Going on a spa weekend with friends in August and that'll cost £200.

My son's dad has been moved out for nearly 3 months, life is so much better! 

Humdinger1

@Jox you are doing brilliantly! Annoying re ex OH napping on your sofa! How have you been? Love Humdinger xx 

Jox

Thanks so much Humdinger!
Life has been good last few months, it's such a weight off my mind not feeling used and abused!
My full time job is very busy but I can work from home 3 days a week. My parents have been helping with picking my son up on the days I go to the office. Work gave me an iphone 13 and a brand new laptop, I was happy with my iphone 8 and old laptop but they insisted!
I was still working for the first part time job I got in January, they're a charity and I did some work voluntarily for them in June but they've found someone to replace me and I'll hand over to them tomorrow.
More than a year ago I signed up to Schoolreaders to help children at a local school with their reading and a school near me just got in touch and asked if I can come in for a few hours on Fridays, starting September, I'll see if I can fit that in!
I helped at my son's school fair on Friday, selling tickets for 2 hours then selling 2nd hand uniform for another 2 hours. My son's dad took him round the fair and they did the fun stuff together.
My son has a busy social life so I ferry him around to the local play dates on the tuk tuk bike and it's good exercise for me.
Today we went round some charity shops to get toys, my son had an idea he wanted to buy army soldiers and tanks to make videos for youtube, I'll probably be the camera person.
Main objective this year is pay off as much of the debts as possible and build up savings.

Humdinger1

All sounding good @Jox! Balancing in the moment and the long term really is a skill but you have it in spades.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx