The Secret of Getting Ahead is Getting Started

Msmoneyspider

I love the title of your diary.  It is good that you recognise that things are out of balance and you are giving more than you are receiving on many levels (although you did accept a lovely gift to CParcs, so things are changing).   It takes time to set strong boundaries but I am sure you will achieve what you set out to, especially if you hang around mse.  DH will need to shape up or be shipped out, does he realise how serious you are about this?  .

Jox

Thanks for lovely comments

Here's the debt update:

Santander credit card £3,400  £2,111
Sainsbury's credit card £2,279.81  £2,129
MBNA credit card £3,917.70  £3,800

Barclaycard £4,210.31  £3,954 (in OH's name)

Was (Dec 2019) £13,807.82, Now (Mar 2020) £11,994

Mortgage £218,808  £216,900

Savings: £4,880 £5,051

OH just gave me £500 I've been "hinting" to him recently that if he has to live in rented accommodation he won't be able to not pay his rent to his landlord so he needs to pay his share of the mortgage and bills to me since they are coming out of my account at the beginning of the month. I shouldn't have to remind him but...

I'm wanting to buy all sorts of things for the house and for myself but will see if I can wait until next month, they're wants not needs!

Jox

So I've added up the Feb spends (not including mortgage and bills) and even though I thought I was being very cautious and had 9 no spend days, I still managed to spend £1250!

Travel £120.50

Presents £329

Food shopping £183

Eating out / coffees £197.50

Dental £240 (am getting most of this back from medical insurance)

Misc £176.20 (toys for my son, school trip payment, books, comedy ticket, a treatment for my dad, sponsorship for a local park, vitamins, toiletries)

Will have to make a bigger effort this month, that is a ridiculous amount of money that I do not have to spend. Presents, eating out and misc need to be cut right down, I'm not Miss Moneybags!

Jox

At home with my son today, I didn't take him to school as one of his classmates family friend has tested positive for corona....not sure whether to take him tomorrow, it's a long day at home with him! 
Have been buying some extra supplies for isolation and was down to £100 in my account yesterday, have transferred some money from my savings.
Hope everyone is keeping safe so far.

Jox

Another day at home with my son, only half his class were there yesterday, the school is being understanding about children staying at home, my son has had asthma type problems in the past so I feel better keeping him away from the bus and crowds. 

OH’s young cousin turned up the other night to stay with us, not very pleased about that but I fixed a bed for him but then he slept on the sofa *annoying*, then yesterday he and OH went out during the day and OH was posting pics of himself in pubs drinking Guinness which is annoying as we’re supposed to be self isolating and he hasn’t worked for 2 weeks anyway and didn’t have any money. He didn’t come home all evening and me and my son went to bed and then I woke up at 2am and he still wasn’t home so I tried to not message him but I couldn’t help myself and I locked the front door, but he and his cousin came home at nearly 3am and I was arguing with him about this binge drinking and staying out til early hours, we have a child to think off and I need to get up with our son at 7am and look after him all day and without sleep and with all this stress I don’t feel good. Such a pain! I don’t need it with everything going on...

Jox

Been home since 16th March, only been out  a couple of times for a walk and hubby has gone to get shopping twice, it's a big change for him, only coronavirus could keep him at home! Still getting paid for now, hubby's not working so I've given him my card for shopping, it's more than I'd usually spend but there's no other spends...except yesterday I paid for £200 of N95 face masks for my brother's fire station, I order some on amazon and some on ebay, hope they turn up, they'll be helping the ambulance service, he told me not to buy any, but hopefully they'll get some use out of them.

My uncle's in hospital with corona, he was ill at home for 12 days and then couldn't breathe. Hope he'll be ok.

Been trying to home school my 6 year old, he doesn't want to do any school work and is very happy to be home playing though he hasn't seen other children for a few weeks. We do some maths and spellings and reading, but it's very minimal at his request.

We had a bbq in the garden yesterday, we're lucky to have outdoor space and sunshine.

Hope all are doing well x

Jox

Still at home and not going out much, work still paying me which is great obviously. I'm very lucky, I have my family and home and all family and friends are healthy (touch wood), though it seems that the Cypriot community in UK is experiencing quite a lot of loss (I'm half Cypriot so follow the news on fb)

Here's the debt update:

Santander credit card £3,400  £1,590 (hopefully will be paid off in 5 months)
Sainsbury's credit card £2,279.81  £2,034
MBNA credit card £3,917.70  £3,725

Barclaycard £4,210.31  £3,780 (in OH's name but I'm paying it off)

Was (Dec 2019) £13,807.82, Now (May 2020) £11,129

Mortgage £218,808  £215,635

Savings: £4,880 £4,000

As I've been home not been buying random coffees and snacks while out though I have given my parents £170 and my bank card to OH to buy food shopping, we're eating quite a lot. And a child psychologist was offering 4 Zoom calls for £300 so I got that for my son as he has suspected selective eating disorder, we've had 2 of the Zoom calls which was pretty much the lady telling me that I need to not keep chocolate in the house and be firmer with my son with regards to his general behaviour

I was drinking around 5 coffees at home a day and couldn't sleep and was exhausted, I read Allen Carr's Quit Emotional Eating and somehow stopped drinking coffee 10 days ago, feel much better generally though am still waking in the night and am tired. OH has been binge drinking, he told me he needs help with it, we watched some youtube videos together, young guys who have quit or cut down on booze, it will be hard for him, he likes to get drunk but not the after effects or the big belly.

Let's see what June brings!

Jox

Happy 1st June! Sun is shining and I'm in a happy mood. It's been about 20 days without coffee and I haven't bitten my nails for about 8 weeks (bitten nails mostly for 40 years!). I've started taking 12 cell salts, I read about them and thought they sounded interesting, no idea if there's any real effect but even as a a placebo I feel that it's doing something for me.

I've put on 8 lbs in the last few months and was constantly eating, I've been watching youtube videos on intermittent fasting and learned that while eating all day, insulin remains high in the blood so no chance of any fat burning in that time. Also that fasting increases Human Growth Hormone in the body which does all sorts of good things.

So last 3 days I have been IF, 13 hours on one day, 20 hours on the next day and at the moment I'm up to 13 hours, will break the fast soon It's quite liberating not munching all the time and digesting! I've been up since 5.30am and have done tons around the house and for work.

Have been spending, bought a bed for £300 but have spread the cost over 6 months interest free. Getting the garden into shape, OH wants to put down a patio which will cost about £600 he says, that'll probably get added on to the debt.

Just got paid thankfully and we'll see how long my job lasts, they have to give me 3 months notice so touch wood, I'll be ok for the near future

Jox

Another month's passed, my son's gone back to school 2 days a week, has been going well, his last 2 days are next week then the summer holiday starts, feels like we've been on holiday since March, thankfully I'm still being paid and only doing minimal work, I like to work and be busy but that's how it is at the moment. Going to a caravan park next week with my sis in law and the kids next week for a few days. Gone back to the bad old ways, biting nails and drinking coffee, I'm not very consistent!

Here's the debt update:

Santander credit card £3,400  £1,245 (once paid off i'll put extra payments to the other credit cards if I can)
Sainsbury's credit card £2,279.81  £1,944
MBNA credit card £3,917.70  £3,651

Barclaycard £4,210.31  £5,339 (in OH's name but I'm paying it off  - increased as he's done lots of work in the garden)

Was (Dec 2019) £13,807.82, Now (July 2020) £12,179 - at least i've paid off more of the debt that's in my name

Mortgage £218,808  £214,365

Savings: £4,880 £5,130

Jox

Three months whizzed by.....work asked me to take a 5% pay cut, I cleared the office out and terminated the lease, and asked head office to let me know about my situation but it's been a few weeks and they haven't got back to me yet. They've been paying me every month so I can't complain about that.They have to give me 3 months notice and some redundancy pay, I've been there 12 years.

I was going to send my son back to school but the night before he was going to start we got an email about a positive case and some kids and teachers had to isolate for 2 weeks so I decided to home school him for now as I would find it too nerve wracking waiting for a positive case to cause us to isolate. I don't have to go to work at the moment so we're enjoying spending time together. I went back to work when he was 6 months old and now he's 6, so this year has been the most time we've spent together. We do some work books together and read and play football in the garden and I take him to the park, he's not very keen on doing "school work" and wants to play. He does a drama class on Saturdays, it costs £60 for 6 weeks.

Here's the debt update:

Santander credit card £3,098 (I've been spending on this again....)
Sainsbury's credit card £1,998
MBNA credit card £3,543

Barclaycard £5,323 (in OH's name but I'm paying it off, he must be spending on it, it's going up)

Mortgage £212,449

Savings: £10,633

I've gone off track with paying off the credit cards, I should be getting this down but maybe I'll use my savings to pay some of these off. I've also not been doing well with my caffeine addiction and nail biting and have been having some wine in the evenings which makes me tired in the morning, need an overhaul! I've put on some weight and not feeling great, too much comfort eating and drinking!

Does anyone have Hargreaves Landsdowne Scottish Mortgage Stocks & Shares ISA? I save £100 a month there, wish I knew more about stocks and shares and trading, I should have a look into it. I've got premium bonds as well, my son won £25 last month and I won £25 the month before.

My OH wrote off his car and insurance paid off the finance and he's bought himself a £18k car off a friend and it broke down the week later, his insurance was £2k, he doesn't discuss finances with me, we're very different, I don't have a car, I want a bicycle!