My Ex Wants More Than Half of the Sale!

RebeccaMay121

I obviously said no to the house share, because the man who supposedly loved me had walked out on me, leaving me a single mother, breaking up with me via text. He refused to pay a penny for his son, and bombarded me with messages continuously demanding money from me, despite knowing I had none since he'd emptied the bank accounts.
I had always told him that if we were to split, we would sit down and maintain the home until both were in a position to move on amicably. I was willing to work together. He was not. This is a man who is manipulative and controlling beyond belief. He bought drugs to put in my food when I wouldn't sleep with him after giving birth. When I asked him to help more with his son, he cried depression and self harm (!!!!!!!!, sorry, I've been there) so I left him alone. He then immediately stopped taking his antidepressants when he walked out.
I could not live with someone who could switch their emotions off at the flick of a switch. Legally, yes he had rights to the house which was why I walked out and left. Do I have to live with a man I do not trust, who thinks so little of me that he would knowingly make my son and I homeless? No. Is he worth my mental and emotional wellbeing? No. He already had a new girlfriend lined up - so was I supposed to share the home with them, pretending to be a little family in the next room? No.
Morally, he is disgusting.
I am not disputing his legal rights and I also shouldn't have to defend my actions to protect myself and my child against a man who was clearly unstable. He made decisions that put his son in the most vulnerable position possible, which was all I cared about. He cared more about the house and the money he thinks he'll make.

[Deleted User]

How is the property owned? Joint tenants or tenants in common? If JT then consider severing this and becoming TIC instead. If TIC what is the % split and is there a Deed of Trust setting out what should happen in the event of a split?

If there's no DoT and you are either JT or TIC with a 50/50 split then legally you are entitled to half the equity. I'm assuming the loans are personal loans rather than loans secured against the property because I don't think HTB EL will allow you to have 3rd+ charges secured against the property. Since the loans are not secured against the property they are irrelevant in terms of the equity split because I assume you are not married and will therefore not be getting divorced where the loans could have been taken into account.

People keep posting that it take thousands to force the sale of a property but I'm not sure that's true. You can probably do a lot of it yourself and if the other party is being obstructive you can request that the judge award the costs against them to come out of their share of the equity.

Step 1 is Alternative Dispute Resolution aka mediation. Yes, he will probably refuse this but it will make you look good in court if you've offered this.

https://www.slatergordon.co.uk/media/2347003/land-disputes-a-guide-to-procedure.pdf

There are far too many posters on these boards who still own property with exes years later and it's causing a massive pain in the bum. Get the ball rolling and start forcing the sale now. He might offer you less than half the equity before it goes to court if you start to show you're serious and if the offer isn't too insulting take it and put this chapter of your life behind you.

RebeccaMay121

I know I'm going to walk away with nothing and I'm fine with that. I just need to get out of the house, out of the area and start moving on with my life. I see him, his girlfriend, all her family and friends every single time I'm at work (I work in a supermarket) even though I've told him how uncomfortable it makes me. It's not about money or profit for me, it's about being happy and healthy and finding a good positive environment to raise my son in. I plan to go into rented anyway, so I can drop hours at work and spend more time with my so any money would just be a bonus anyway, and probably used for driving lessons or things like that.

He is the one who is obsessed with money. He always has been. Rather than give me the house back, he put ads up on Facebook to rent the rooms out. He'd deleted and blocked me by this point but I still found out via friends, and I had to tell him that it was illegal if he went through with it and that he had to get my permission, which he did not have. Meanwhile, his son was still living in a tiny bedroom.

Being a doormat was kind of my M.O. during the relationship and it is a difficult habit to break. I'm trying to be fair, trying to be equal but in my life, myself and my son are more important than he is which is something he can't seem to grasp. I'm using the guide of 'Does it benefit my son? Does it endanger my son? Is it what is best for him?'

[Deleted User]

I'm slightly confused. In your OP you were concerned about your ex trying to claim more than half the equity and now you don't care about receiving any equity. If it's the latter that should make it easier to get your ex to agree to remortgage in his name only. You should still start the process to force the sale though even if you don't want to receive a penny from it or you will remain trapped in this joint mortgage with your ex.

I don't really understand why you are paying the mortgage and bills for a house you're not even living in.

RebeccaMay121

We are joint tenants, and there are no loans secured against the house, just personal loans in our names. We've already been to mediation for our son - which he magically agreed to everything I've been saying for months because it's all rational and logical, and I am being more than fair. While there, I mentioned my intention to sell the house - again, to be fair with him - and he wasn't happy at all. He became even more unhappy when i mentioned my intention to move across town (he can't drive) or to a village outside of town. I do believe he will delay the sale, refuse offers etc. to stop me moving... but he also has very grand delusions of money.
He's the kind of guy to throw himself fully into an idea before realising it will never work. I mentioned I would accept £120k for the house to get it gone faster, and he flat out said no, he wants the full asking price.

RebeccaMay121

I am living in it. If you read my later messages, I retook the house following his realisation that he couldn't afford it. Basically, neither of us can afford to pay the mortgage, bills an debts so I took on the mortgage and bills, and he has the debts ( which are mostly in his name anyway).

I don't care about the money I receive, and any I do get will be a bonus. What I don't want is him going to solicitors, getting told he can basically take all the money from me and leave me still in debt. It's also the principle that he only paid £2750 of mortgage while I've paid it all on my own while raising his child, and he still thinks he's entitled to more than 50%. I think 50% is generous considering his contribution thus far.

[Deleted User]

The £2,750 you've made in mortgage payments will mostly be interest rather than capital repayment since the mortgage is still relatively new. His mother also gifted money towards the deposit which as a JT you are legally entitled to half the equity it went towards so I don't think you have a leg to stand on about the extra mortgage payments you've made on your own.

Make up your mind what it is you want because you are contradicting yourself. If you don't care about walking away with zero equity why are you getting your knickers in a twist about him getting more than 50% and to be honest by the time you've taken into account the costs of selling it's not like there will be a huge amount of equity to split anyway.

-taff

You should see a solicitor. And if the 13 is a joint loan, then you should make sure that's entirely cleared, not paid half and half because you are equally and severally liable for the whole amount should he decide not to pay.

gary83

Your replies do seem a bit confused about what you want out of the situation. is your ex boyfriend, his girlfriend and all their family and friends abusive or threatening towards you when they're shopping?

RebeccaMay121 wrote: »

I know I'm going to walk away with nothing and I'm fine with that. I just need to get out of the house, out of the area and start moving on with my life. I see him, his girlfriend, all her family and friends every single time I'm at work (I work in a supermarket) even though I've told him how uncomfortable it makes me.

If they're just carrying out their shopping, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you you can't reasonably expect everyone that knows him to stop shopping at that Asda, Tescos or whatever. Good luck with getting out of the area, sounds like you need that clean slate.

RebeccaMay121

Lover_of_Lycra wrote: »

The £2,750 you've made in mortgage payments will mostly be interest rather than capital repayment since the mortgage is still relatively new. His mother also gifted money towards the deposit which as a JT you are legally entitled to half the equity it went towards so I don't think you have a leg to stand on about the extra mortgage payments you've made on your own.

Make up your mind what it is you want because you are contradicting yourself. If you don't care about walking away with zero equity why are you getting your knickers in a twist about him getting more than 50% and to be honest by the time you've taken into account the costs of selling it's not like there will be a huge amount of equity to split anyway.

The £2750 is the amount my ex has contributed, which I was using to demonstrate how little he has contributed to the house - I have paid double that.I know it won't make any difference but for the sake of illustration, I thought it emphasised how little time he was at the house. I'm literally just trying to figure out if he can take me for more money. I don't care how much comes to me as, like everyone has pointed out, it will be little to nothing anyway and I have no plans relying on it - but I do have that shared debt and I don't want to be screwed over because he thinks he's entitled to more. I have a child to think about, to house and clothe and raise while he has lodge and holidays. I consider half the equity to be fair. It should clear my debt, and let me go from the house with a clean slate.