My Ex Wants More Than Half of the Sale!

RebeccaMay121

So, to cut a very long story short my ex walked out on myself and our 10 week old son in the beginning of April, leaving me with £1300 of bills p/m on maternity wage of £550 a month. I went back to work full time when my son was 14 weeks old, but my ex's behaviour since has made me want to sell and move away. I only have to work so much because I get no help paying the mortgage, and I'd rather lose the house and spend that time with my son.

The house was bought for £110,000.
Deposit was part Help To Buy Isa (one each) and part gift from his mother.
The house needed a lot of work - electrics, plastering, plumbing etc. It was valued after he walked out, then forced his way back in and myself and our son out on the streets. They said it would was worth £125,000.
The debt in the house is roughly £10k in his name, and £13k in one joint loan in both names. He is paying the debts. I have paid the mortgage and all bills since May.
When I told him I wanted to sell, he wasn't happy, then seemed to come around to the idea. He then mentioned solicitors to decide how to split the money, and laughed when I said 50/50. He wants more money because of the debt he is in... Can he do this?! :(

getmore4less

How big is the mortgage?
How much did his mum gift.

Enterprise_1701C

Were/are you married?

I would imagine that any judge would look rather poorly upon the fact that he turfed you and your/his child out on the streets and expects more than half of the proceeds.

silvercar

If the debts are secured on the house, you won't see the money. You and him will only have the equity after the mortgage and all secured loans are paid off, there may be less to argue over than you think.

If you have jointly owned the home for only a short time, I would have thought it reasonable that you adjust the split to allow for the mum's deposit.

PixelPound

Are you tenants in common or was an agreed share each of the house done at he time?

I assume the debts are unsecured otherwise that will decrease what will be left after the sale.

He can ask for more, but tbh the unsecured debts have nothing to do with it. How were the mortgage payments split/paid before the breakup and how long have you had the house? There is an argument that the split can be altered to take into account of his mum's deposit, but not a given, just as you can argue if normally bills are split that you have had to pay the mortgage so effectively putting money in too.

RebeccaMay121

The mortgage remaining is £102,000.
His mum gifted about £2400, but since everything has happened she's told me she wants the money back from her son, not me. I'm not sure whether that still stands since she hasn't spoken to me in 9 months though.

RebeccaMay121

Thankfully we were not married, but together 6.5 years.
It's an odd one, because technically speaking (and in his words) he didn't force me out. He walked out, left his keys and told me to sort money out to cover the bills. Then a week later he said he wanted 24/7 access to his son and was going to move back in. He said we could split the house - he'd have one bedroom, I'd have another, he'd live in the dining room, I'd have the living room etc. I obviously said no. He wouldn't back down and told me he'd be there by the end of the week. The next day he turned up with all of his things in bags. I refused to let him in. He stood outside the house, guarding the garden gate for 7 hours. I had our 12 week old son in the house and I couldn't leave. My family came, tried to talk some sense into him but he wouldn't budge.
I cannot tell you how frightened I was. I know a lot of people don't understand why - and to a point even I don't - but just the blatant lack of respect or care was terrifying to me. If he could do that, what else could he do? The police were called but didn't come out as it was a civil matter.
He left when it got dark and cold (it was March) , but sent me a message saying he'd be back the following day, with police and I'd be forced to let him in. I said if he continued, I would take our son and leave the house - which was apparently the reason he wanted it in the first place, right?
He told me to go ahead, and leave the keys under the bin.
He gave me a few hours to pack clothes and things for myself and our child, then turned up demanding keys and to be let in. I was forced to live in my parents spare bedroom with everything I had to my name, with my 12 week old son.
He only lasted 6 weeks in the house. The day after he took it, he asked me how much I would contribute towards bills, and kicked off when I told him nothing. I was willing to take on the house 100%, with him insisting he pay half the mortgage etc to stay entitled to it. He didn't discuss anything about money or bills or mortgage... he just took my home, and his sons home without thinking.
I got daily messages, first insulting, demanding money, demanding more time with his son, rude, insulting etc. Then he realised he couldn't even cover bills each month and he started begging me to take the house back. It was my Grandma's house, and I have such a huge emotional attachment to it - and why should I lose everything just because of him? - so I took it back. I'm currently living in it now, and have continued to do work to it albeit slowly.

He lives at his new girlfriends house 3 minutes around the corner, with her parents and sister. He pays lodge, has enough money saved to buy a car, and has just been on holiday to Tenerife while I scrape by each month working full time with a baby and a mortgage. I have little sympathy for his debt woes.

RebeccaMay121

None of the debts are against the house - just in names. The only debt in my name is also in his name, for £13k... although I'm not sure how much is left to pay now.

I don't begrudge paying the debts. I don't begrudge him half - although it does annoy me a little since he only lived in the house for 7 months and only contributed £2750 on the mortgage - what I can't understand is him thinking he's entitled to more than 50%. I thought I was being more than fair considering what he's actually paid. I don't expect to walk away with much at all... I just want this financial tie to be severed, and the emotional and mental stress to be gone. Because of his past actions, every day I'm scared he's going to just turn up and demand the house back which he can legally do.

elsien

Not sure why you "obviously said no" to the house share. Yes it would have been horribly uncomfortable for you both but he had as much right to the house as you and you should not have just locked him out. Other people have had to carry on living together till the house sells when they really didn't want to.
Perhaps that's the basis of his intransigence now?

RebeccaMay121

Before we split everything was 50/50. We had a joint bill account, and a joint spending account that all money got put into. Big mistake, really.
We moved in in June 2018. He walked out on 8th March, got back in the house on 20th March, then moved out for good in May 2019. I have lived in the house consistently aside from between 20th Match - 2nd May when I was at my parents.

Tbh I'm not sure what we are in terms of tenants. He's on the mortgage with equal rights as me.

markharding557

After debts of £23,000 and £102'000 outstanding are taken from it's valuation of £125,000 there is nothing left to argue about.

You need to stop being a doormat, get legal advice, pay only 50% of the mortgage and the debt that in in your name while this is sorted out.
What his mother wants is irrelevant.

You can also apply for child support from you ex partner.

The forum in the link below can give you much better advice than I
https://www.womansdivorce.com/chat.html.