Giving every £ a job

Sun_Addict

How poignant to find your mum’s ring on the anniversary of her passing. My mom passed 24 years ago at the end of this month. I still sometimes think of something to tell her and forget she’s not here just for a moment. It does seem a long time since I last saw her though. Anniversaries are tough 🙁

Great customer service from the flower place.

Blackcats

@joedenise - that's an impressive number of pots to manage!

thank you all for your kindness about my mum - it's so hard to lose a parent.  I did make an effort to connect with my brothers on the day and was pleased that they both responded.  They don't ever initiate any conversations that might veer into an emotional zone but we all acknowledged mum and how much we miss her.

we just had a wonderful day at a local(ish) transport museum.  We went with 3 of our "mid-range" grandchildren.  We have 13 grandchildren ranging from toddler to sixth formers with mid-range in between 😁.  

What a joy to see a Wellington bomber and Concorde ; a 1904 car and a McClaren racing car plus a life size Lego McClaren.  A ride round the local town on the top deck of an old route master was a highlight!  We did spend money on admission for them (we are already members) and then we were able to offset the cost of the day's admission against annual membership for them.  It was particularly good to see our 14 year old grandson being so enthusiastic about what he was seeing.  Hopefully it's inspired him to find out more about engineering and mechanics.  We also soent on lunch which was a jacket potato or macaroni cheese type affair,  honest to goodness by some miracle we were like The Walton's sitting round the table - eating and talking in a very civilised way.

so money was spent but it feels like value for money, kids have been inspired and memories have been made.

ladyholly

Nothing better than memories made with grandchildren. Hopefully they will also remember the good times with their oldies who can give them so much in a very informal way.

joedenise

Sounds like a brilliant day with your grandchildren.

I know it sounds a lot of pots but it really helps me to see where we are managing to save money to put towards our various holidays!  It also helps that we get several "paydays" a month as we both get our state pension weekly on different days, I also have an AVC and a work pension so we get at least 10 paydays a month!  The money is only in a few accounts not 40+ - it's just the figures in YNAB!

lucielle

That sounds like a lovely day BC, memories made and hopefully inspiration as well!
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foxgloves

It is hard to lose a parent, @Blackcats, & it surprises me just how quickly the time has passed since my Dad died in 2017 & Mum the following year. I suppose it's partly because sorting out their estates & selling the old family home took so long. In my head, it feels like about 2 or 3 years ago that I lost them & I have to remind myself that it's actually 7 years since I last saw my Dad & 6 years since all those hospital visits to see Mum. Never forgotten. I always frame it in terms of feeling fortunate that they were in my life for a long time.....until I was in my 50s. 
I still like to bake something on Dad's birthday, as he loved my baking. On Mum's I like to go out for a cappucino & cheese scone - her absolute favourite. I think it does help to do these little things, doesn't it?
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Blackcats

Thank you @ladyholly and @lucielle - it was the sort of day with the grandchildren that brings a smile to your face when you look back at it.
@joedenise - you inspired me to review my savings pots and I've made a couple of tweaks as well as clarify my thinking around how I use them.  

So, now I have the following pots that accumulate for a specific purpose

holidays
Christmas
car
replacement tech
Medical, optical and dental
garden project
concerts and subscriptions (we love going to concerts but they are pricey so worthwhile to save all year round ready for when tickets are released.  We also have annual memberships of a museum and a garden/park near to us)

rolling monthly spending pots
fun 
eating out
groceries
petrol
personal spends

the plan is that any surplus from these pots will be moved to the appropriate cumulative pots eg left over in "fun" will go to concerts.

@foxgloves - I remember from your diary when your parents were poorly and I would have guessed that it was about 4 years ago.  Lovely that you do something on their birthdays.  My mum was a devout Catholic so on her birthday me and my daughters (who she doted on and they adored her) have a Mass said for her.  I think she would particularly like that we are going to church for her although none of us are churchgoers.  I also bought her a rhododendron for her birthday many years ago and it always manages to flower on and around her birthday.
I feel very lucky to still have my dad even though I'm now 60.  My brothers are in their 70's so they are v,v lucky to have their dad.
on days when dad is ultra grumpy, miserable and ungrateful I do have to remind myself about this 🙃

Sarahwithlove

Me and my brother always take flowers to Cemetery on my mums birthday and either go for a coffee or dinner at her favourite restaurant. It's nice to remember them in small ways. 

ladyholly

My mums birthday was New Years day so I always have yellow flowers in the house for it. She wouldnt thank me for taking them to the cremaatorium as she always said she would rather have them when she was alive as they were no use to her after she died. Its a compromise and makes me feel she is in no way forgotten. Why yellow? She loved spring but unfortunately died in the spring a week before Mothering Sunday that year.

savingholmes

I love the idea of yellow flowers in memory @ladyholly

Blackcats the time with grandkids is precious and helps with legacy creation and provides another port of call for the kids if needed.