Angry Bitter Husband

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma

Ok so as you are all aware my husband i think has a drink problem he is also a diabetic after being diagnosed a year ago he seems to be on a self destruct course he takes no notice of portion control or what he should be avoiding he just goes to his appointments and blames the nurse for various reasons he feels as long as he looses weight then he is fine yesterday i was shouted at as the roads where we live were gridlocked so he screamed at me and slammed the phone down on me tonight he is angry because the roads are bad and our son left his lap top on the bed he shouts at me he is wound up over tomorrows diabetes nurse appointment i know why he is eating sandwiches after dinner , bars of fruit and nut ,cheesecakes and boxes of mince pies if we are on holiday chocolate mud slides are the order of the day and god forbid you mention anything his diet is appalling and he regularly boasts of brewing 140 bottles of wine. I am fed up my son is fed up and i have told him i can't deal with his anger anymore i. dont know what to do we are on a DMP he doesn't know this i dont have a job and our daughter is getting married early next year so i had hoped to stick this out till then she is a daddy girl Just wanted to get this all off my chest as there is no talking to him he has gone to bed and wants to be left alone

littleredhen

That sounds rubbish for you - you say he doesn't know you are on a dmp? is that right? is there any other family that you can turn to for support, you don't have to put up with being treated like this, he is responsible for his own health and well being soI wouldn't intervene, if he asks for help then that is something different, you can't change people, you can only change the way you feel about things

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma

Thats correct he kept having a go at me so i just told him we had finished it but there is still at least 7 years to go I am so fed up and to be honest if i had to choose between him and my son it would be my son . He always complained that i moan when he comes through the door so i purposely dont speak except to say hi but he has done nothing but moan and shout for weeks as soon as he comes home as soon as i try to speak to him he asks why i keep dragging things up as he doesnt want to talk about it i am emotionally broken

Barney_Rubble_0403

Constant high sugar levels will cause mood swings, anxiety, stress and depression. Paramount importance is to get his sugar levels under control by eating at prescribed levels and taking his medication. Sounds like anti-depression meds might be needed.

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma

I dare not say anything as he just flies off the handle at me I think he takes his meds so he can have what he wants as they will deal with the issue he also is on meds for high blood pressure

sugartree

Hi,


I just want to share my sympathy, I know many people in a relationship they are unable to leave dealing with aggression and/or addictions (both woman & men)


Have you thought about contacting the Citizen's Advice and Woman's Aid organisations? They may have resources or information which could help.

toniq

Please look up the Freedom Programme. It might help you find a way out.

Pollycat

For context, here is the OP's other thread:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6071906/alcohol-woes

gwynlas

I have read both this and your last thread, and it might sound harsh but you have welcomed comments.
So you have an angry bitter husband with diabetes, who doesn't take responsibility for his actions includingg diet and abuse of alcohol.
It is up to you what you do.
You can leave or stay.
Let him carry on self destructing which will probably lead to his death just make all his family including your son and daughter aware.
It is coming up to Christmas with all the extra food and drink that this usually entails. Do you enable him to continue down this path or do you try to get him to engage with services that might help him?
Only you know what you want the outcome to be.
There is no point trying to wait until your daughter gets married as though the magic of the occasion will put everything right.
You can seek the help of Relate or a womens refuge to talk through the issues rather than continue seeking advice on a forum whose readers do not have the whole picture.
We do not know enough about your family or personal circumstances and as I said you are better off having a face to face discussion with someone who can help you decide your next steps.

Pollycat

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma wrote: »

our daughter is getting married early next year so i had hoped to stick this out till then she is a daddy girl

Can't you get your daughter to try to talk some sense into him?
She must realise what a nightmare her Dad is to live with.
Is your son still at school?
If he is, do you think it's fair that his Dad is making him 'fed up'?

You also mention his diet:

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma wrote: »

he is wound up over tomorrows diabetes nurse appointment i know why he is eating sandwiches after dinner , bars of fruit and nut ,cheesecakes and boxes of mince pies if we are on holiday chocolate mud slides are the order of the day and god forbid you mention anything his diet is appalling and he regularly boasts of brewing 140 bottles of wine. I am fed up my son is fed up and i have told him i can't deal with his anger anymore i. dont know what to do we are on a DMP he doesn't know this i dont have a job and our daughter is getting married early next year so i had hoped to stick this out till then she is a daddy girl Just wanted to get this all off my chest as there is no talking to him he has gone to bed and wants to be left alone

Who is buying the chocolate bars, cheesecakes and boxes of mince pies?
Do you cook healthy meals for him?

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma

Thank you all for the replies I try to feed a better diet changing to chicken sausages brown bread cauliflower rice and so on just small changes the cheese cakes were a treat for my son i bought a pack of 2 ,he buys food for himself the boxes of mince pies mini stollen and so on . My son is an adult but has aspergers so its not easy for him he has a job but yesterday he left his bedroom light on and his lap top charging on the bed so not major in my book annoying yes I encourage him to get the best care he can we are fortunate to have private medical insurance so i have suggested that he see an endocrinologist privately for extra help i also bought a book he asked for re portion control and healthy eating 1 year ago he has never picked it up he asks if he should make appointments I get his meds for him but then he shouts at me for getting involved and keeping on about his diabetes I have asked my daughter to speak to him she will do when she is next home so i can only hope he listens I do wonder if its the metformin thats causing this behaviour ?