An absolute financial nightmare, I can't believe it

misspoppy

Hi

I don;t have any advice but I wanted to show you some support I hope your boyfriend is getting some help for what ever caused the depression because its been going on for years by the sound of things.

jodenice

Thank you very much, yes he is getting help. He is on antidepressants and is in the middle of booking counselling and cognitive therapy - its amazing he's like a new man. I think you are right, this has been going on for a really long time and the help is long overdue.

You have to admit it to yourself though don't you before you can talk to anyone else - he's a total head in the sand type of guy, but I really love him and I know if we work together we can sort it all out.

taxi73

Just wanted to send you a hug...as all the debt is in his name when you go to CCCs if you have to take out a DMP/IVA then that should be in his name also please don't transfer the debts to yourself in any shape or form..it sounds like he's really sorry but at least if they are left in his name he won't be able to get further credit to add to the problem..I wish you luck and hope you can solve the problems as a couple

In_Search_Of_Me

Its important that you do let him do the sorting while being supportive of him ans togeather you can start rebuilding the trust & be debt free! Thankfully this has come to light befroe it got too bad & you can salvage things. I totally agree with taxi though that you shouldnt transfer any debts to your name. All too often people come on here with desperate cries for help because they've done that & it does nothing to get the person in debt to take responsibility...hard I know...

jodenice

ha ha I hadn't even thought of that - NO WAY - I love my new debt free status, I'm not going to spoil it, he needs to sort this out. I'll help with CCCS and our budgets but nothing else...

JoeHel

Hi hun. My partner is on anti-depressants and I have to make sure he only has a cashpoint card or we'd be in even more trouble!!!!

Is any of the stuff he's bought new enough to take back for a full refund? I would get as much as possible on ebay and try and claw back SOME cash from it all - putting everything you make towards clearing the credit cards. Best of luck.

Homework

If he has a mental health issue then he has not been in control at all, I'm glad that the medication is making you see the different person he now is. I hope he will soon be feeling better in himself. You are going to have to be strong for him so that he does not start feeling guilty for all this as it won't help his recovery but working with him and remaining as calm as you can will help in the long run.

It must be a shock for you after you got everything sorted out the last time, you got through that and I'm sure you will manage to get through CCCS with this. Depression can recur and it might be a good idea if once this is sorted that you keep a discrete eye on things from now on. Now that you can see the difference in him it might help you to notice if he starts being unwell again.

I hope everything goes well for you both

jodenice

Thanks for all your positive wishes, much appreciated. CCCS phoned me this morning and decided that they should separate his income from mine and show his half of the bills (I earn a bit more and am supplementing his income to pay some of these back) and what he can afford - it showed that individually he's much less able to afford this.

This is basically what she told me, I just wondered on what any of you thought...(its an email i sent to my boyfriend as I tried to explain what the options were!)

This leaves us with two options (as she sees it)

A debt management plan (DMP) - Whereby for two years (or until you have paid off the car) you pay £134, through CCCS, per month. When the car is paid off, you then pay £300 per month through CCCS. All in all, at a rate of £140, then £300 respectively, this will take 8.5 years and then you should be debt free.

Pros: You get to keep the car, the house and actually pay off the debts
Cons: You have bad credit, may get CCJs and the creditors will not freeze any interest for about a year. We will have a lot of threatening letters until the payment plan is well underway. When you sign up to this you MUST NOT get any more credit or the whole deal is off.

The other option is Bankruptcy. As you own approxinmately £3500 equity in the house, this could put the house in danger. However, the option of 'buying out' your equity in the property is usually available for friends and family. If you went Bankrupt you would be forced to sell the car and you would have to pay around £300 per month to your creditors as this is left over in your monthly plan and would be allocated to creditors.

Pros: After a few years you are completely clear of debts. You still get to keep the house (probably)
Cons: You lose the car, you can't buy anything, you need to find over £400 for the bankruptcy and also we'd need to find £3500 so I could buy you out on the house. We would need to stay on the same mortgage, even when it rises above our monthly fixed rate, as realistically it is not likely that you would be able to get another one. When we do get another one the fact that bankruptcy is on your file will affect your mortgage choices (but it did mine too - so we've got through that one before babe!)

x

floss2

IMO, the way you have set it out is very clear, and I like the pro's & con's bit.

Personally, I would go with the DMP - you give the impression that you feel he's becoming more responsible, and this is the way for him to clear HIS debts, and to stay with you in the family home. Having gone through the bankrupcty thing, you know more than I do about how it will affect your future.

angelface

Nothing to add - but good luck!