Families growing at Christmas

EssexHebridean

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I am intrigued as to why you are buying Christmas gifts for your adult children, let alone their partners (unless they are really hard up). Do either actually expect it?

If anything, I'd offer hospitality. Everyone enjoys refreshments and company.

Perhaps because the OP wants to buy for them?

Both sets of parents still buy for each of us, and we for them - this is a choice and far from obligation. Instead of ending up with things that people don't want though we each produce a list of things that would be wanted, and in some cases things that we would otherwise buy for ourselves - and most gifts are bought from those lists. It means that we each get items that we genuinely appreciate, and would probably not be able to justify buying for ourselves.

Britannia12345

I think I'm going to give them the same as I give their siblings and add a bit more on top as there's two of them.

pickledonionspaceraider

I always buy for my sons partner. I love her

But I must admit , i spend a fraction more on me boy

littlegreenparrot

My parents often give us cinema/ theatre tokens or will buy tickets if I suggest a show we like the look of.

Often these are a few months in the future, and it's lovely to have a night out, it extends Christmas a bit.

FtbDreaming

Haha i love this family xmas politics.... my mum has bought me and my brother the same hamper 2 years in a row (which was awful and about £50) where she spends about £1000 each on our 3 younger siblings. And about £10-£20 each on our kids (her grandkids). I'd rather she either gave us cash or didnt bother as it just highlights the difference she feels towards us.

As for the new daughter in law id just give a small gift like wine or chocolates, once she's part of the family you'll naturally know what she likes or what u want to spend on her and you wont be as worried next year.

Britannia12345

I try to treat them all the same but new members of the family means added costs. I guess I'd better start saving earlier for christmas next year!

thriftmonster

I started with just a token gift for ds1's gf but after 4.5 years, I just work on the principle that I have 3 children now instead of two and buy accordingly. To be fair I know that her mum does exactly the same with ds1.

Britannia12345

Definitely better start saving then. My mil has only ever bought me a small present - a scarf or suchlike and I was always happy with that.

trailingspouse

I have a £10 per person per occasion rule - and that would include the hangers on if they were with us on Christmas Day.



Last year we had an extra guest for Christmas lunch that no-one had got round to telling us about (kids, huh!!) - but we were cooking for 10 anyway, so another one made no difference. When I came to handing out presents I found an unopened bottle of wine and stuck a bow on it. She was touched that we'd remembered her (she never suspected that she wasn't expected...)

Britannia12345

Does the £10 rule apply to close family too?