The hardest challenge yet

elantan

not heard of that before will try and look out for it thanks

dreaming

In my last house I only had limited space, plus limited time due to a stressful job, but I managed to grow tomatoes, radishes, spring onions, lettuce and rocket in pots/tubs. I have more space here and set up some raised beds and for a while grew the above, plus carrots, potatoes, leeks, beetroot and cabbage (although the dratted caterpillars turned them into lace one year). A couple of years ago I lost interest due to family stuff but grew a bit last year and feel the urge for more this year. The hardest part is waiting until the weather really improves but I like to browse the seed catalogues as well, although I tend to buy a lot from Wilkinsons. In my head I have a virtual smallholding with chickens, a pig, and abundant growing space but actually I am a fair-weather gardener. I also have a virtual large house with it's own library instead of just a bookcase but you gotta have a dream, haven't you?
I have just spent about an hour looking for my spaghetti as I fancy spagbol tonight. It is in a glass container and was moved when the kitchen was done before Xmas but I couldn't remember where I had put it. Have now located it so off to slurp it up but it is reminder that it is probably a good thing I do only have a small house in real life as I would never be able to find anything.

elantan

ohhh dreaming a person after my own heart, like u I would have a small holding I wouldnt have pigs I dont think but I did want bees, until I learned OH is allergic ahhh well never mind

I ordered a new cover for the polytunnel, it arrived today was very heavy to lift in, but I camt wait till the weather gets better and I can get the wood out my new cover on and get growing again

elantan

So pay day came and went and miracle of miracles we actually stayed within the cash budget, I was almost in shock, we used a lot of our stores but we made it, now to ensure we keep it up.

So far this year I have not had any takeaways at all, we have still spent £30 on take aways ( 16 days ) all of it has been spent by oh ... I have discovered he is eating out in work up to 3 times a week roughly at a cost of between £3-£5 a time, so now I know where some of the take away money has been going, as for months I've been thinking "how much and where are we spending this" ... now I know it seems to be OH at work, it's also takeaways at the weekend but theres been a fair bit spent at work, I occasionally buy food at work if I'm caught on an emergency or something and that can be between £5 -£10 a time, thank goodness it's not often maybe 6 times a year, im gonna try and avoid it for as long as I can.

So there we are another bit of the puzzle unravelled and made clearer, now we make soup and OH takes home made curry into work, for himself and others ... however he works with a group of people that go out, every friday is kebab day for example but it appears they are doing it more than once a week, goodness knows what's happening to the food he takes in ... Another puzzle to get to the bottom of

Ultimately we made our budget WooooHooooo

balabooberlies

Well done...........

dreaming

elantan wrote: »

Ultimately we made our budget WooooHooooo

It's a satisfying feeling isn't it? Plus it must be good to know where things are going adrift from the budget. It sounds as if OH's head may be in agreement with your plans but his heart isn't - and that is difficult. My exOH used to have his breakfast at home, then eat his packed "lunch" at tea-break (10.30 a.m.) then go with his mates down the pub for a pasty and a pint (or takeaway, or whatever). He would then come home, have his dinner, but then often look for biscuits/cheese/crisps to snack on. Apart for the cash side being a problem at the time, annoyingly he never put an ounce of weight on. I often look back and see that for my Ex it was as much about being one of the lads as it was about being hungry. He is still the same today some 20 years after splitting up and is always moaning to our daughter that he has no money but always manages to go on every night out or weekend away.
Keep up the good work, and communication with OH - I'm sure you will come to some agreement soon.

lessonlearned

Hi Elan....just dropping by to say well done on meeting your target. Great stuff.

And well done on "finding the leaks" and discovering where the budget is being sabotaged.

Actually I wouldn't have had problem with my late husband going out to lunch with his colleagues. In fact he often did. I actually don't believe in dining "al desko". I think it's not good for us. I think it's much better to take a proper break and eat away from the work environment if at all possible. I also think it's a good thing to socialise with colleagues and lunch is a good way to do it.....better than the pub after work!!

And, as dreaming says, he is probably eating his packed lunch as snack breaks. I seem to recall you saying he does work long hours so perhaps he just needs plenty of fuel.

Which really just leaves the issue of takeaways. Again I wouldn't try and ban them completely, maybe just reduce their frequency.

One other aspect in all this is health and weight. Is he a healthy weight or is that an area of concern. And, although it is often overlooked, even slim people can get into trouble if they eat too much in the way of convenience foods. Even skinny Minnie's can have high cholesterol and elevated blood sugar levels.

One of my sons is 6ft 3 and so skinny he looks like an advert for Oxfam. He thought he could eat anything and did. He had a real shock to discover his blood sugar levels were elevated and he was in the pre diabetic range. He is only 33 so it was a wake up call. Thankfully he has modified his diet since then and is making much healthier food choices.

dreaming

lessonlearned wrote: »

One other aspect in all this is health and weight. Is he a healthy weight or is that an area of concern. And, although it is often overlooked, even slim people can get into trouble if they eat too much in the way of convenience foods. Even skinny Minnie's can have high cholesterol and elevated blood sugar levels.

One of my sons is 6ft 3 and so skinny he looks like an advert for Oxfam. He thought he could eat anything and did. He had a real shock to discover his blood sugar levels were elevated and he was in the pre diabetic range. He is only 33 so it was a wake up call. Thankfully he has modified his diet since then and is making much healthier food choices.

That is a very good point LL as my EX, despite never putting on weight and going to the gym regularly, collapsed at work a few years ago and had to have stents fitted due to blocked heart valves. He also has very high blood pressure and cholesterol - possibly because he could (and did) eat anything he wanted. I, on the other hand, although I am overweight have low blood pressure and cholesterol within the government ranges. So yes health is a greater factor to concentrate on than wealth. Although in my experience men are often just as complacent or in denial about that.

elantan

dreaming wrote: »

It's a satisfying feeling isn't it? Plus it must be good to know where things are going adrift from the budget. It sounds as if OH's head may be in agreement with your plans but his heart isn't - and that is difficult. My exOH used to have his breakfast at home, then eat his packed "lunch" at tea-break (10.30 a.m.) then go with his mates down the pub for a pasty and a pint (or takeaway, or whatever). He would then come home, have his dinner, but then often look for biscuits/cheese/crisps to snack on. Apart for the cash side being a problem at the time, annoyingly he never put an ounce of weight on. I often look back and see that for my Ex it was as much about being one of the lads as it was about being hungry. He is still the same today some 20 years after splitting up and is always moaning to our daughter that he has no money but always manages to go on every night out or weekend away.
Keep up the good work, and communication with OH - I'm sure you will come to some agreement soon.

yep I agree his head is saying one thing, his body is doing another, the weirdest part is he is more desperate to retire than i am, but he so far just cant seem to understand that his behaviour is sabotaging us, when i address my concerns he says, dont worry when we retire we wont be eating out, we will take pieces and soup when we go out, to which i reply we have them just now but dont utilise them, I am determined we are not retiring until this is under control, as i want to enjoy my retirement not deny myself fun things just because we eat out, but we are not retiring anytime soon so atleast we have a few years to work on it and get it perfected for us, so glad i didnt start this in say 6 years time.

lessonlearned wrote: »

Hi Elan....just dropping by to say well done on meeting your target. Great stuff.

And well done on "finding the leaks" and discovering where the budget is being sabotaged.

Actually I wouldn't have had problem with my late husband going out to lunch with his colleagues. In fact he often did. I actually don't believe in dining "al desko". I think it's not good for us. I think it's much better to take a proper break and eat away from the work environment if at all possible. I also think it's a good thing to socialise with colleagues and lunch is a good way to do it.....better than the pub after work!!

And, as dreaming says, he is probably eating his packed lunch as snack breaks. I seem to recall you saying he does work long hours so perhaps he just needs plenty of fuel.

Which really just leaves the issue of takeaways. Again I wouldn't try and ban them completely, maybe just reduce their frequency.

One other aspect in all this is health and weight. Is he a healthy weight or is that an area of concern. And, although it is often overlooked, even slim people can get into trouble if they eat too much in the way of convenience foods. Even skinny Minnie's can have high cholesterol and elevated blood sugar levels.

One of my sons is 6ft 3 and so skinny he looks like an advert for Oxfam. He thought he could eat anything and did. He had a real shock to discover his blood sugar levels were elevated and he was in the pre diabetic range. He is only 33 so it was a wake up call. Thankfully he has modified his diet since then and is making much healthier food choices.

Like you I am actually ok with him getting out of work and going for something to eat, its just the frequencey of it, if he made it a Friday treat or something then i would be more than happy, I cant do that with my job, I have to have ours in the staff room in case an emergency comes in, last week i only had 10 mins for my lunch 3 days in a row due to emergencies ... tis the nature of the job.

I work longer hours than OH, with a much more physically demanding and emotionally exhausting role, this was not always the case, years ago Oh had a very physical job, extremely physical to the point his body is now damaged due to it, he now works in an admin role and whilst that does bring pressure it thankfully isnt as pressurized as he used to be, the reason we are out so late is he has to drop me off then pick me up from work ( i start earlier and finish later), i think Oh is also eating the way he would have done when he did the physical aspect of his role, he has developed an appetite for it, so its hard for him to understand that he cant eat the same and not expect to gain weight, talking of weight both of us are huge, I am heavier and much shorter than OH he has a very large tummy area, both of us need to lose weight and lose it badly.

dreaming wrote: »

That is a very good point LL as my EX, despite never putting on weight and going to the gym regularly, collapsed at work a few years ago and had to have stents fitted due to blocked heart valves. He also has very high blood pressure and cholesterol - possibly because he could (and did) eat anything he wanted. I, on the other hand, although I am overweight have low blood pressure and cholesterol within the government ranges. So yes health is a greater factor to concentrate on than wealth. Although in my experience men are often just as complacent or in denial about that.

yep high blood pressure and high cholesterol Oh has, I have high dystolic BP ( the bottom number) Oh has had 2 angiograms with added tests to see how his arteries are, they are in great shape, he has had an echo etc as well and has results anyone would be proud of, so he is lucky, but we need to ensure his luck doesnt suddenly run out, ive never had an angiogram and really dont want one so will remain in denial if i ever have chest pain, maybe go for a CT angio instead, but I am lucky in that although i am very very overweight ( maybe 8 stone over weight... and very short) I am active and i do eat healthy most of the time, well most of the time when i get my own way, but i have told OH that i am not having these takeaways in the frequency we were having them. Still not had one this year

elantan

SO yesterday, I went for a walk to find a kinda hidden Andy Scott sculpture in an out of the way private property adjacent to a country park, met with a friend and carried our lunch, we had soup, salad, nuts and an apple to eat, my back pack was very heavy ( about 7kg) carried the backpack around and walked 11 miles so was happy with that, today I am sore and cant move, i obviously need to get out more, barely got out over xmas and new year and i love walking and exploring. On Saturday we had climbed a local wee hill as well that Oh had wanted to do for years, I had done it with an MSE'r years ago ( the same one i went horse hunting with yesterday) and Oh was envious, so we did it on Saturday and just took soup and coffee with us, no spend day.

Oh took soup to work, left it in the works fridge, then went to the chippy, when he came home i asked if he was hungry he said no he didnt want any dinner as he had a chippy for lunch, then at 8pm decided he was having chinese, so 2 takeaways in a day, he also drank quite a bit over the weekend,

I think he is stressed and depressed about the same subject that he has been stressed and depressed about for over 15months, a subject which I do support him in but can no longer listen to only that, for 13 months he only ever talked about this one thing, and when i say only ever i am genuinely not exaggerating, he would wake up through the night and discuss it with me, first thing in the morning on the way to work when he picked me up whilst dinner was cooking during eating after eating the rest of the night and in bed, a full 13 months till i finally exploded, now he has managed to talk about it approx 50% of the time ( still too much for my liking but atleast i get a break now and again) but the downside of this is he is holding a lot back and he is struggling with it, and i cant help him as i was starting to go insane with listening to him, i was becoming depressed because of it, the situation doesnt look like it will be resolved anytime soon, so we trundle on, but I think that is why he drank so much over the weekend and is making unhealthy food choices just now, he will need to find a way to deal with it.

Money wise we have £20 left to do us till Wednesday for food then the next weeks money is released, I didnt buy any meat this week as we are still using what is in the freezer, i did however, top up on things like Chia seed avacado powder, coconut flakes, seaweed flakes, wasabi powder and things, staples for the cupboard the one in 6 month or so purchases we make, but so far using cash is working for us, i used the credit card for the coconut flakes etc but transferred the money straight away out of the account where the cash is kept and have taken it off my total.