Life Starts Now

ILAWG

Hello everyone
I’m here to keep a track of myself as I find it so easy to keep slipping into debt and once I’ve finished paying it off this time, that’s got to be it!

I have been in the same job for 20 years and there is a strong likelihood that I am going to be made redundant some-time soon. I have debts which amount to £15k that I am currently paying with the help of Stepchange. I started off self-managed, then found it all seemed a bit too much so I went to Stepchange and have been quite happily paying them for the last six months, but in total I’ve been on reduced payments to my 10 creditors since January this year.

I have been in debt on and off for the last 30 years or so, many times I’ve done the laying awake at night, not eating, getting angry with people I love, frustrated with everyone, crying at everything, totally depressed, dreading the post arriving and the phone ringing, hating myself for getting in the mess I was in and always having the noose of debt around my neck. My mental health as suffered as a result but now I know, this is it. Trouble is, I know why I did it – having a husband who was hardly in work, meant I had to do two jobs and I found this very difficult, especially back in the day when my daughter was younger, so I found it easier to borrow – crazy I know. With a combination of no financial support from one’s now ex-husband and always having a feeling that I should be in control of money but be able to provide for my daughter – I found myself time and time again in debt.

So that’s the past. Now to the future. I am going to come on here and update as much as possible just to keep myself on track and to see how others are doing. I can only look forward to the future, even if it does bring redundancy. Doors have to close before other doors can open - that’s the way I see it. This past year has helped me live within my means properly for the first time ever I think, maybe that’s why I feel different this time. Typical really, just when I get a grip on things, I might lose my job, but bridges will be crossed one at a time.

ThatKiss

Didn’t want to read and run. It’s a supportive lot round here so we’ll help in any way we can. For every door that closes another opens

ILAWG

Hello ThatKiss thanks for your comment. That's the way I'm looking at it.
Today seems to have been never ending - everyone is stressed at work. Getting out at lunchtime helps.
Daughter had a job interview yesterday, just for something part time, she'll find out tomorrow afternoon.
Hoping to leave work early tomorrow, got shopping to do - must make my list out tonight.
I've drawn up a menu thing now for the week so will shop for that. Trying to slim down a bit so have taken ideas from SW. Well it's worth giving it a go.:)

Olddognewtricks

Just wanted to add my support.
Reading through all the diaries on here has made me realise how much easier things can seem with just a little encouragement, even from strangers online. X

Flossymuldoo

My journey is just beginning but I’ve read so many threads and it’s really heartwarming to see just how supportive people are here. There will be plenty of people stood on the sidelines cheering you on x

ILAWG

Busy day today, tidied and cleaned the house, got all the washing done and now I'm just waiting for I'm a celebrity..
DD got the job she went for. I am so pleased for her, she will enjoy having her own money.
I had a letter yesterday from moorcroft regarding one of my loans saying the original creditor is willing to accept a lower amount to settle. Got me thinking, crazy as it may seem, that maybe I could haggle them all down if I get made redundant but I'm not sure if I should spend the money like this - my mind is always racing with possible scenarios. Silly really when I don't know if I'm gonna be leaving or indeed how much I'll get.
I must put the kettle on now and settle down for the evening.

Flossymuldoo

That’s great news about DDs job! Well done to her.

ILAWG

Thank you Flossy. She is really pleased to. It's going to be strange in the house without her though. Got me thinking about swapping with someone so I can have a two bed, got a three bed at the mo..and here I go again racing off into the uncertain future
I've been so tired today, it's because I pushed myself yesterday with the housework. I've also got back problems and its feeling a little painful at the moment but I shall persevere.
I think a shower will help followed by a nice cuppa.

Flossymuldoo

Ooh how much will swapping houses save you? Enough to make it worthwhile?

In terms of uncertain futures, I’ve learned over the years that here is no certainty in any job. Since I started work 26 years ago I’ve had 1 redundancy, 1 voluntary redundancy and 4 times I have been part of a restructure where my job hasn’t existed in the new structure. My OH has had 3 redundancies. 2 in the last 8 years and both at a time where there weren’t many jobs in his field available.
The last one screwed us royally so being as prepared as we can is all we can do i suppose.

ILAWG

Hello Flossy
Wow - I guess then one 'potential' redunandancy in my working life isn't too bad. I had another chat with the boss yesterday and it certainly looks like I'm going to be at risk. Oh well, new year new challenges. But yes, moving to a small house will save me loads and I think it would fit in well with other changes the new year will bring. I am going to go through cupboards and such like, this weekend just to see what kind of things I've been keeping hold off. I expect most of it can go to charity shops, it's about time I had a sort through.
I slept well last night, had a lovely shower which really warmed me up. I think I am feeling the cold more as I get older.
My immediate job though is to through all the bedding I've got which doesn't get used anymore - my bunnies will some extra covering now considering when I woke up it was white outside this morning. I know they can withstand very cold temperatures, but I'm a softy and need to know they are properly covered up. I did see some purpose made hutch covers in the local pet shop but they're £60 each :eek: I don't think I can justifiy nearly £200, so will get sorting out.
Looking forward to a long weekend this week - am off Friday :T

Flossymuldoo

Well if moving is going to save you loads then that’s be great. We moved 4 years ago and it was the best thing we did. We’d lived at our old house 15 years and moving felt like a new beginning.

In the meantime keep those bunnies warm. It’s about 15 years since my last bunny died. He was a sweetheart and best friends with one of my kitties that is no longer with us. I like to imagine them frolicking around together happily now :j