Where to start? Divorce, child, mortgage etc

confusedanddazed

In the below situation where should one start ???

subject is Male, 47
separated for over 2 years (officially living separately for 8 months)
child aged 8 - absolute priority
wife of 21 years
house with mortgage of 250,00 (worth 1,000,000)
salary of 170,000 (wife does not work and has not done)
huge pension which understandably wife will get half off
savings - unknown figure
due to inherit £300k so wants this protected

no official legally agreed access to child - verbally arranged agreement that changes frequently and at last minute:
has son every other weekend
has son every wednesday evening

wife is unstable and emotional / agressive (hence first leaving the marritial home)

subject in relationship and now in rented accomodation - son aware, wife aware.. wife not at all happy

subject's first priority is the son and the thought of no access is unbearable however the wife uses son as bait, blackmail and as a lever.

communications between subject and wife are minimal and often via text and only ever about the son

where should subject start??

BrassicWoman

with a lawyer. but get your story straight, its currently different to this one

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=6062868

Accountant_Kerry

Hypothetical situations

NBLondon

BrassicWoman wrote: »

with a lawyer. but get your story straight, its currently different to this one

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=6062868

Not necessarily... Perhaps in that thread OP is the divorcing spouse - in this one OP is the "other woman" and "subject" is their new partner.

sheramber

NBLondon wrote: »

Not necessarily... Perhaps in that thread OP is the divorcing spouse - in this one OP is the "other woman" and "subject" is their new partner.

House value, income and pensions are totally different

mark5

The closer you are to retirement the more pension values will be taken into consideration.
If in England and Wales any pension built up before marriage should not be split.
Although technically she could push for the house, realistically she cant afford the mortgage.
Worst case scenario she would probably get 70/30 on the house although the pension might swing this further.
Unless the person has already died then the future inheritance should not be counted or considered.
Make sure your bank statements are spotless, they will try and make mountains out of non events.

I would speak to a solicitor and on your wages go for a very good one, personal opinion i might get slated for this but go for a man although a lot of the divorce ones seem to be women.

My split was amicable until I started seeing someone else then she lost it big time, a few years on I still cant mention my new girlfriends name without a melt down.

confusedanddazed

which bit is hypothetical?

Accountant_Kerry

confusedanddazed wrote: »

which bit is hypothetical?

even if its not hypothetical what is the actual question?
it seems access is pretty much sorted, unless you want a legal arrangement?

Does the person want to get divorced now? could they prove the 2 years separation despite still living together much of this time? if they ate meals together etc they cant claim separation

Does the person want to start mud slinging over another divorce reason if the wife is already upset?

The big question is financially what does the person actually want to walk away with and when?

I presume child maintenance and the mortgage are being paid?

NBLondon

sheramber wrote: »

House value, income and pensions are totally different

Well they would be as they are referring to different couples... One is the OP's own divorce and this one is the person OP is divorcing to be with.

onwards&upwards

confusedanddazed wrote: »

wife is unstable and emotional / agressive (hence first leaving the marritial home)

subject in relationship and now in rented accomodation - son aware, wife aware.. wife not at all happy



where should subject start??

Why would subject leave his child with an unstable and aggressive person?

Oh wait, is that code for ‘not over the moon about her husband sleeping with other women and leaving her to be a single mum’? :cool:

flanker6

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Why would subject leave his child with an unstable and aggressive person?

Oh wait, is that code for ‘not over the moon about her husband sleeping with other women and leaving her to be a single mum’? :cool:

Maybe the wife is only aggressive towards the OP.
The OP has obviously initiated the break up and oftentimes the remaining party feels resentment.