Received cheque from executor

6Stringer

Thanks everybody that helped me throughout this thread. I have only just realised that I did not reply to issue an update. I wrote a letter to the executors explaining their errors and I received £2500 from them. They have withheld £1000 from all beneficiaries to cover the cost of the interment of my uncle's ashes. This was back in Nov 2019. They issued me with a letter saying that they are going to carry out the interment of his ashes and if I wanted to go against his wishes I should tell them.
 He did not put his burial details in his will but I know he wanted to be buried with his Mother and Father and brothers.
 I have asked several times when they are going to carry out the burial but keep getting fobbed off with excuses.


This situation cannot continue indefinitely. Can they withhold this money from me? I am pretty sure they have no intention of carrying out his verbal wish, but I don't want to demand my money and be blamed for him never being put to rest properly. Is there a time limit for me? ie if I don't ask for the money soon can they say it is too late ?

lees80

It doesn't cost anywhere near £1000 to have ashes interred. We recently interred my Nan's ashes into our Grandads grave, the cost was £280.

SevenOfNine

lees80 said:

It doesn't cost anywhere near £1000 to have ashes interred. We recently interred my Nan's ashes into our Grandads grave, the cost was £280.

They may have to buy the burial rights to a plot, which costs a whole lot more. It's more than likely someone owns the rights to Grandad's plot so the cost £280 was just for putting Nan in & presumably that didn't include either a new, or amendment to existing, headstone.

6Stringer, do you mean interred in the same cemetery as other family members?  Though his wishes weren't in the Will, therefore he said/she said doesn't count for much, it does seem the kindest thing to do is to put the family together, but having said that there must be space in the cemetery.

If you meant actually IN with one of the family members then someone has to own the burial rights.  My mother can 'go in' with my dad when the time comes because she owns the rights (& they will transfer to me on her death, so it will be me that can grant permission for dad's plot to be opened, a dead person can't do that).  But Mum can't 'go in' with my sister because my parents did not buy the burial rights (though she's in same cemetery as dad). 

We kept back over £2500 to cover burial rights purchase, interment costs & headstone cost a couple of years ago for in-laws - & didn't get much change!  Did the deceased still live in the same area as burial grounds of the family?  If not that doubles the cost.  I'm wondering if you could volunteer to make enquiries regarding the interment, arrangements you feel the deceased would have wanted, IN with someone or same cemetery in own plot.  Price up all the components at least?  Unless it's Church grounds, a fair bit of costing should be on the cemetery local council website.

6Stringer

Thanks lees80 and SevenOfNine.
 Yes my Uncle wanted to be buried in the same grave as his family. The burial plot has been purchased and is owned by his older sister. She, very sadly, has dementia and is in a care home. Her power of attorney is her eldest son. The execs say they are working with him to make the burial arrangements. The last time I contacted them I was told that the whole process is at a standstill because of the UK Lockdown. I don't have much trust in them I am afraid. 

Is there anyway they can get away with not paying me? What if they drag it out another 6 months? Is there a time limit within I have to claim the money? Unfortunately, I can see this one running and running. I think they are stalling in the hope that I request my money and then they do not have to carry out the burial. That way they can blame me. A few of their comments soon after his death made it quite clear that they do not want to carry out his wishes. Also, the ashes of the deceased are normally buried shortly after the funeral. Why didn't they just include the ashes burial in with the funeral costs and get it completed as soon as possible. 

It is all very sad. I was close to my Uncle and have no way of visiting his grave because he remains with the executors. My mother is still very upset too. I want to see him laid to rest as per his wishes.

SevenOfNine

Lockdown didn't affect actual burial/interments, there have been 5 or 6 at a cemetary we visit often. Easy to spot!  No mourners though.

A lot of cemeteries nationally had been locked (different LA interpretations of the temporary codiv lockdown legislation) but that was better clarified recently & they all opened a couple of weeks ago.  Maybe the one where family plot is was one of those, so execs may be truthful on a delay due to that.

In the circumstances I'd expect the execs to retain maybe £1,500 to pay for interment & some sort of marker added to the family plot, more than enough.

Sadly, I think you may be right, they don't want to bother. Maybe think they will just scatter the ashes somewhere, costing nothing, or perhaps even planning to tuck him quietly in the plot, shallow depth, unofficially?

Afraid I can't say if they can take their own time doing anything or nothing, personally, we held back money for about 3 months, that was how long it took to get the headstone made & fitted.  

6Stringer

I know they have a relative of theirs buried in their garden and I have a horrible feeling that is where they have placed my Uncle.
My Uncle died in October 2018. They have had more than 18 months to inter his ashes. I think they are just waiting for me to write to them and request my £1000; which of course is what they want. No doubt they are enjoying stringing me along. They are such an amoral family.

SevenOfNine

My condolences 6Stringer. Sometimes a death brings out the worst in people.

Might it be best now to say you think it's time the estate was brought to a close, clearly the executors they aren't going to comply with what you knew he would have wanted, for their own strange reasons.

Does anyone visit the family plot? If not it might be nice to put a small memorial dedication on it, something that acknowledges him, maybe something with 'Uncle' on it. Not expensive, particularly if anyone might spitefully remove it.

Perhaps for your own peace of mind, this is a chapter you might close.

xylophone

The execs say they are working with him to make the burial arrangements. 

Have you asked him about the matter?

Jules987

Has anyone else had the problem of not being able to pay in a cheque for 'The Executors of'? I am the executor on the Will of my late partners and have all the necessary paperwork, however my bank will not accept it. I have been back to the company who issues the cheque twice but they refuse to change the name on the cheque. They said they have not experienced this before. The Bank will not open an account for one cheque and then close it again. Any suggestions on what I can do?

xylophone

I take it that you are your partner's sole beneficiary?
If so, you will need to be persistent.
Write to the drawer of the cheque and explain that  you are the sole beneficiary (enclose a copy of the will) there is no exor account and your bank will not open one to receive this sole payment.