I want a happy family!!!!!

black-saturn

OMG I thought I was the only one. I have 2 daughters of 13 and 10 and I'm on my own with them 99% of the time as I am a lone parent. All I ever seem to do is tell them off, stop them from arguing with each other and be upset that they don't get on with each other. The house is only at peace if they are in separate rooms. I also seem to be getting on at them all the time to do things like get up in the morning, get ready for bed in the evening, do their homework, put their shoes on, brush their teeth. If I didn't keep on at them in the morning I'm sure they would stay in bed all day. My mum says I should just call them twice in the morning and thats it and if they have to go to school in their pyjamas and everyone laughs they won't do it again.

Last week was the switching on of the Xmas lights in the town centre and they have loads of xmas events on in town. I wanted us to have a nice family evening out together and tea out. But instead DD1 who's 13 kept on nagging me about a new school bag. The one she's got is a bit ropey but the one she wanted was £15 and I said that was way too much for a school bag. She sulked all evening and then resorted to pulling DD2's hair and pinching to get attnetion so in the end we went home early and I wished we hadn't gone out.

pipkin71

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

Does anybody else feel like a bad parent sometimes. All i seem to do these days is shout at the kids, they don't seem to listen to me at all and i find it soo frustrating. I try to do nice things for them and try to make things special but there is no appreciation. Everyone else seems to have a really happy family and at the minute we are a miserable one. Is it just us??? Any advice on how i can sort my family out. Tried bribery, taking privilidges of them - i know it's me too and i need to be more patient.

I would think more likely 3KIDSNOMONEY, that you just maybe don't see when the parents in the other families are tearing their hair out. So whilst it seems that others are happier, they may well have gone through the same as you are now.

I currently have issues with DD2, who's 9 going on 15 and can seriously strop for Britain:D

I'm trying not to constantly shout at her because I just end up winding myself up.

I wish I could resolve your [and my] dilemma, unfortunately what works for one family wont necessarily work for another, but :grouphug:VIRTUAL HUGS:grouphug: are winging their way to you as we speak.:A

Best wishes

Pipkin xxxx

Savvy_Sue

I went to my church mums and toddler group the other day and came home really glad to have teenagers! Until the teenagers came home from school ... And then the next day there was a toddler screaming throughout the afternoon at work! So I was one more glad of my teenagers ...

Herbyme

We have all been there and continue to spend more time there than we'd like. I took mine bowling recently as a treat and they spent most of the time hanging round the awful arcade games berating me cos I won't pay for those things. Had to be called back to take their turn bowling. Good job it was a special offer price!

I have found a tip from a book that's helped - be warned, it's hard to believe at first. It says that the more loving you are with your kids, the better they behave, and that you need to show you love them all the time, not only when they're good. Which makes sense cos some days they are not good ever and then you never feel loving towards them, they don't feel loved and they misbehave all the time. Vicious circle.

Suspend disbeleif, try it and see - keep it up for a few days and it will help, honestly.

My other tip is more pragmatic - look for flashpoints you can predict and avoid them - I don't let my two brush their teeth at the same time in the morning or they fight, and I can't leave them alone while they eat breakfast either. Another job on your list, I know, but thinking ahead and managing them assertively can really help avoid tantrums (yep, my 8 yo still has 'em) and fights.

Good luck, and remember it will get better, how many years till they've all left home??!! (only joking!!!)

southernscouser

Thanks to this thread I'm booked in for castration first thing in the morning.

A bit extreme you might think but I've heard stories about vasectomys not working all the time.