Help. Nowhere to turn.

DebtSpiral99

Thank you everyone. I think just writing it all down was enough to make me realise what I needed to do. Have had a heart to heart with my wife and we are going to try and tackle it together before resorting to any of the other options just yet. Going to see the bank this week to see if they can help and going to tighten our belts massively. Sometimes you can’t see the wood for the trees. Thank you all.

Grumpelstiltskin

DebtSpiral99 wrote: »

Thank you everyone. I think just writing it all down was enough to make me realise what I needed to do. Have had a heart to heart with my wife and we are going to try and tackle it together before resorting to any of the other options just yet. Going to see the bank this week to see if they can help and going to tighten our belts massively. Sometimes you can’t see the wood for the trees. Thank you all.

OK How do you think your bank can help you?

Their bottom line is to see how much money they can make from you.

How will they do that? Offer you a loan.

Under no circumstances borrow more money, don't think about consolidation, it won't work.

Before you go to the bank go through your finances with the finest of tooth combs ,and make sure you know exactly where your money is going every month, this is why we suggest putting a SOA up on here then we can perhaps suggest where you can cut back.

kazwookie

DO NOT turn unsecured debt into secured debt by consolidation against your house.

DebtSpiral99

Yes have realised that’s definitely not the way to go. Thank you.

Karonher

Most people have already said what I would say regarding holidays/getting your son a car and piano lessons. You have not let people down - my initial thought was going to be that you had been let down, but your last post shows that your wife is going to work with you. Is there anything that can be sold - even paying bits off the debt would reduce interest.

An SOA may really help as often what you see as an acceptable amount to spend will be way over what you could be spending.

At some stage you may have to say no to what the children want.

sourcrates

DebtSpiral99 wrote: »

Going to see the bank this week to see if they can help and going to tighten our belts massively. .

You don`t need to "see your bank" and put all your hopes on them bailing you out (again) another loan is not the way to go, nor is a temporary payment arrangement (which is all banks will ever do).

You, yourself can take the decision to lower your payments, if that is the appropriate course of action to take, by entering debt mangement.

I can`t see what your bank can do for you to be truthful.

DebtSpiral99

Thanks and yes, already thinking of things I can sell to start bringing more money in. I think it’s just the initial conversation I needed, obviously it wasn’t a great conversation but we have agreed to work as a team to sort; thanks again.

Grumpelstiltskin

Now your wife is on board with you start and work out how you will tell your children that things are going to change.

My guess is your parents didn't give you everything you wanted because they couldn't afford to. You survived and your children will.

Willing2Learn

Before you go to your bank, I would recommend giving one of the free debt counselling services a ring (StepChange, the CAB and Payplan) to see what they suggest. You need to explore all your options, not just the best one that earns your bank the most money.

By the time you have seen your bank you will hopefully have had all your options presented to you. You will have all the necessary information so that you and your wife can make the most informed choice. Either way, please feel free to use the SOA as you wish. It is free to use at home to prepare for the conversations you will have with the bank and debt counselling services.

iolanthe07

If you do go to the bank just bear in mind that their primary purpose is to make money out of you. They are a business, not a charity. I hope this all goes well for you.