Has anyone reinvented themselves or their lives ?

[Deleted User]

coffeehound wrote: »

Probably not a popular opinion, but if you want to be able to fully engage with, and befriend people, your best bet is to go back to the area where you grew up. People mostly choose to associate with, and are more at ease with others who are most like them in shared culture and common references, in my experience.

I do see this with a couple of friends in that they have never left the area they grew up in and have a wide network of friends and family close by. I have always wanted to experience something new and different and have done this but at the expense of close ties.

[Deleted User]

Sounds like you have a very balanced set up dreaming and what you say makes good sense.


I perhaps have rose tinted specs on when talking about village life but maybe its from years of living in London and now the sticks I'd like a happy medium, enough people around but not isolated and as you say there's no guarantee they will be accepting.


I am happy in my own company but would definitely like people to call on when there is an event to see, or just a spontaneous coffee with. Right now friends are so far away we have to set dates and venues so far in advance.

Slinky

On a practical level, take a look at Escape to the Perfect Town which is currently running on BBC1 and is on iplayer also. We've relocated to one of them recently, knowing nobody. I've 'retired' but OH still wants to work. I'm in that phase of trying new things, establishing new routines, trying to get to know new people. It all takes work, but I think if you do want to do it, sooner rather than later is easier. I think it's harder to make new friends as you get older and you don't work anymore. Workplaces can often open up a social life in my experience.


Good luck.

dreaming

BBH123 wrote: »

Sounds like you have a very balanced set up dreaming and what you say makes good sense.


I perhaps have rose tinted specs on when talking about village life but maybe its from years of living in London and now the sticks I'd like a happy medium, enough people around but not isolated and as you say there's no guarantee they will be accepting.


I am happy in my own company but would definitely like people to call on when there is an event to see, or just a spontaneous coffee with. Right now friends are so far away we have to set dates and venues so far in advance.

Ha-ha - possibly the first time anything I did was considered to be "balanced". Seriously I sort of understand where you are coming from. I love going to the theatre but didn't really know anyone else who did so started going on my own. After a few times I struck up a conversation with a lady who was also on her own and now we go together sometimes -probably every 3 months or so. Although we have nothing else in common (as we discovered when we met for a meal) I do enjoy the time spent togather and talking about the play in the interval.

I do know someone who moved in their late 60s to a fairly small village on the coast a few years ago (with her dog). She was always the sort though to get involved in community life (unlike me) and having the dog helped her meet people as well.

I hope you work out what you want to do.

Sea_Shell

"Everywhere you go, there you are"

Is a change of postcode really going to enable you to change you!!??

[Deleted User]

Sea_Shell wrote: »

"Everywhere you go, there you are"

Is a change of postcode really going to enable you to change you!!??

Yes I think it could, new post code new beginnings. I think being settled somewhere and being outgoing could help foster new relationships and interests.

pickledonionspaceraider

I'd love to reinvent my life.

I have less friends than I used to have.

Ten years ago, I had a buzzing social life - out every weekend and always someone on the phone or coming round for dinner

Then I became ill, and - no one wants to be around a downer (Cant blame them) - friendships drifted away when I can't do the same things anymore - I do have two die-hard friends, but others not really more acquaintances

I often wonder what the meaning of life is . Id love to live near the sea and I could go and sit and ponder as much as I like.

I sometimes wonder if I have made the right choices over many things and filled with self doubt even though I did what the best I could at the time - perspectives change as you get older and I would, perhaps, do things different now

Anyway, no I haven't done it. But I admire your courage and envy your opportunity

MovingForwards

I relocated nearly 3 years ago.

Started my new life over, made friends, I've very recently started a new career, started a degree and started my divorce.

I hit the ground running in my new life and don't look back at my old one.

OldMusicGuy

I have just retired and completely "reinvented" myself. I had a very well paid "high powered" job with lots of international travel (business class only of course). I have given all that up and we are downsizing to a village in Somerset, living a more sustainable life and going as green as possible. I hope never to get on a plane again and I have left all that work life behind.

I couldn't be happier. Going back to a simpler, far less stressful life, spending more time with my wife and enjoying hobbies. Getting away from the consumerist world and living in a village with everything we need within walking distance.

Although I had a good career and enjoyed it, my "real" self is not really a high powered business person. So I'm getting back to what I was when I was a lot younger. You need to take a long, hard look at yourself and really try to understand what makes you tick and how you will spend the rest of your life.

As for friendships, I only have a couple of people I would count as real friends. Having lots of friends has never been that important to me. But that's my personality type, I don't like socialising and nor does my wife. Some people thrive on having a good network of friends, others don't. You need to understand your personality to decide if that matters or not.

Bottom line - you need to think hard about your personality and what you want out of the rest of your life before retiring. Some people just don't suit full "retirement", there are some on the pensions board that retired early and went back to work because they were bored.

Davy_Jones_II

Yes, several times.

After university I went into the civil service for a while. I then decided that it wasn’t for me, and became a working scientist, and then again a few years later switched completely and moved into banking.

Once in that career I moved from London to New York, then back to London, and have for a while now started again on the continent, learning another new language, and taking on a managerial role instead of being one of those just doing the job before.

Along the way I’ve had friends come and go, have jumped banks to increase skills, or improv earnings, and I’m now starting to consider what the next big move is, with the myriad options including;

Working for the SFO or the FCA
Moving to the North East and returning to physics
Buying land in the Pyrenees and bringing my family up rurally.
More junior banking job in California

I may also aim for one last big move in finance, and aim for three to five years of higher pay while I wait to see if I fall out of love with what I’m doing.