FIRE friends & family

fred246

I followed the principles of FIRE for years and squirreled money away before taking early retirement. When I retired early I trashed a final salary pension so ended up with a lovely combination of index linked pension which pays all the bills plus a pot for leisure which is invested. My pot is secret so work colleagues etc probably think I am living a sad low income life. It got me thinking though about people without the pension. If you squirrel money away for years everyone will think you are poor. When you suddenly announce you have enough savings never to work again you will be seen as 'mr money bags' who pays for everything. 'Another round of drinks please mr rich friend'. How-about a payday loan mate? It must cause some people grief. One scenario I fear is if one of my children had a mortgage and lost their job. I am sure I would pay their mortgage rather than see them repossessed and evicted.

bowlhead99

fred246 wrote: »

My pot is secret so work colleagues etc probably think I am living a sad low income life. It got me thinking though about people without the pension. If you squirrel money away for years everyone will think you are poor. When you suddenly announce you have enough savings never to work again you will be seen as 'mr money bags' who pays for everything. 'Another round of drinks please mr rich friend'. How-about a payday loan mate?

You could surely tell them that you had saved extra money over the years so that you would have that money to live on, rather than needing to do the job for the last few years. That doesn't mean you have any more money available for those years than the person who has a salary coming in each month. Maybe your goal should be not to have sponging friends.

If not - when you fear they're about to suggest that you get the next round - pre-empt them by suggesting, "I guess you'll pick up this round, as you're the one with a job"...

One scenario I fear is if one of my children had a mortgage and lost their job. I am sure I would pay their mortgage rather than see them repossessed and evicted.

It's maybe not much different to if you didn't have a load of money squirrelled away for FIRE and were just going to retire at a normal time, and still had a job. If the child was about to get evicted you would probably try to contribute to their mortgage out of whatever you had.

If you're retired with your 'savings/leisure pot' in liquid funds, then you will probably be more able to help the child with a lump sum or monthly chunks of cash to pay bills while they wait to get another job. Then when they get the job, they can pay you back your money over time with a bit of interest so that you can replace the funds that you need to live off over later years.

Pollycat

What an odd thread.

msallen

I'm not sure what you're trying to tell us. Is it that you care more about keeping your savings a secret than you do about keeping a roof over your children's heads?

Sea_Shell

We've recently achieved FIRE. It's a strange one, as we do sometimes wonder what other people make of it. Surely they can do the maths and compare against their own spending needs to get to a ball park figure of what might be required. (and then halve it, as we really have modest needs!!)

I had been asked outright by my old work colleagues if we'd won the lottery. It's easier for them to think that, than someone actually working and saving hard towards it.

HOWEVER, only our next door neighbours know that we're both not now working (as they obviously see us about, and the car's there nearly all the time).

We have NOT told our family yet. DH's family would just worry, and mine would be the "spongers", for both our time and our money.

So selfishly, we've decided to enjoy this period of time FOR US, until the cat's out of the bag, that is!!

If anyone got "funny" with us about being "rich", then I'd be tempted to say...."but none of it's spare, it's all carefully budgeted for, as our lifestyle choice, and is really none of your concern!"

fred246

Pollycat wrote: »

What an odd thread.

It's only of practical interest to those following FIRE. It's a strange situation to be in. You have plenty of cash but no means to replace it once it has gone. You have to be careful with it.

Pollycat

fred246 wrote: »

It's only of practical interest to those following FIRE. It's a strange situation to be in. You have plenty of cash but no means to replace it once it has gone. You have to be careful with it.

Actually, it was the sentiments you expressed in your first post that I was referring to.
"secret pots"
"everyone thinking you're poor"
"Mr money bags"

I'd be looking for a fresh set of friends...

enthusiasticsaver

We retired early by putting extra into our pensions from our 20s, paying down the mortgage early and investing and saving in isas and sipps. We never made any secret of it but we didn't live like paupers while we were working either. We had children, helped them through uni and getting on to the housing ladder and we did holidays and meals out like everyone else. The key to preparing for retirement is start early and get used to living within a budget. We did not deprive ourselves though and we don't now.

Many of my friends and relatives are still working now and will for the foreseeable future until their state pension kicks in. I keep reiterating as I have done for years that the state pension is no massive amount and they should be saving or overpaying their pension but I fear it is too late for some. I pull them up when they tell me we are lucky though. I point out we saved for years and the only luck involved is we did not go through any life changing circumstances like illness, redundancy or divorce which can have a devastating affect on finances.

You don't need to make a big to do about FIRE. Just live your life without worrying about what others think. None of their business.

enthusiasticsaver

Sea_Shell wrote: »

We've recently achieved FIRE. It's a strange one, as we do sometimes wonder what other people make of it. Surely they can do the maths and compare against their own spending needs to get to a ball park figure of what might be required. (and then halve it, as we really have modest needs!!)

I had been asked outright by my old work colleagues if we'd won the lottery. It's easier for them to think that, than someone actually working and saving hard towards it.

HOWEVER, only our next door neighbours know that we're both not now working (as they obviously see us about, and the car's there nearly all the time).

We have NOT told our family yet. DH's family would just worry, and mine would be the "spongers", for both our time and our money.

So selfishly, we've decided to enjoy this period of time FOR US, until the cat's out of the bag, that is!!

If anyone got "funny" with us about being "rich", then I'd be tempted to say...."but none of it's spare, it's all carefully budgeted for, as our lifestyle choice, and is really none of your concern!"

Goodness I cannot imagine keeping our early retirement secret from our family. Do you not see them often? Would a simple statement to DHs family like we saved for early retirement and have enough for our needs not suffice? I went on a pre retirement course which talked about "spongers" mainly for time from relatives and we do in fact do one day a week childcare for our grandchildren but I was doing that whilst working part time prior to retirement and my daughter would not ask us to do more. I do feel my elderly mum would like me to visit more as she lives 250 miles away and I do visit more now I am retired but only because I am happy to do so. You have to set boundaries when retired and I make it very clear our lives are just as full now retired as they were when working. Mind you the frequent holidays may give that away anyway and we both have plenty of hobbies. My daughter says "out gallivanting again" joking of course. It is friends who are still working who are obviously jealous but as I say I preempt that with I told you years ago to think about retirement more. Not my fault if they didn't take that advice.

Anonymous101

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

We retired early by putting extra into our pensions from our 20s, paying down the mortgage early and investing and saving in isas and sipps. We never made any secret of it but we didn't live like paupers while we were working either. We had children, helped them through uni and getting on to the housing ladder and we did holidays and meals out like everyone else. The key to preparing for retirement is start early and get used to living within a budget. We did not deprive ourselves though and we don't now.

Many of my friends and relatives are still working now and will for the foreseeable future until their state pension kicks in. I keep reiterating as I have done for years that the state pension is no massive amount and they should be saving or overpaying their pension but I fear it is too late for some. I pull them up when they tell me we are lucky though. I point out we saved for years and the only luck involved is we did not go through any life changing circumstances like illness, redundancy or divorce which can have a devastating affect on finances.

You don't need to make a big to do about FIRE. Just live your life without worrying about what others think. None of their business.

We're following a similar path to the one you have by the sounds of it. We save much more than most people into pensions and ISA's but I wouldn't say we are particularly frugal. Mrs. Anon more so than I am but we just reached a standard of living we were happy with and stuck to that whilst some of my friends have continued to spend more as they've earned more.


I am open about my FIRE aspirations with a couple of my friends and they do come out with the odd comment from time to time when I too remind them its long term planning that will get me to an earlier retirement rather than being "lucky"!


I'm sure that some people will be surprised and think that we've won the lotto or something when the time comes that I no longer have to work. Especially if that is much sooner than regular retirement.

Pollycat

It's not the concept of retiring early I find odd.


I posted this almost 3 and a half years ago:

We're comfortable too.
I took early retirement 13 years ago, OH 3 years later.

Not yet state pension age but are OK living on our occupational pensions & investments.

We don't have children & have always lived within our means but enjoyed ourselves. Lots of holidays, new car every 3 years (just not a Mercedes or BMW).

Mortgage paid off, only debts on credit cards on 0%.

I still look for food bargains, do menu plans & batch cook.
I buy a lot of clothes from charity shops (through choice) but do like jewellery.

on this now closed thread:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/70748632#Comment_70748632

I'm now in receipt of my state pension, OH has 18 months to wait.

It's the bothering about what other people are thinking that stumps me.
It's the idea that people will ask me for money that bemuses me.

One person did (half-jokingly) say we must have won the lottery but I pointed out that in our circle of friends - all similar ages - we were the only ones who didn't have children.
I am the only one who worked full time throughout my working life - and am now reaping the benefits through a very good occupational pension.