Financial Abuse When/what to Claim

anonnimouse

My partner of 20 years recently told me he was leaving me, but as part of the fallout, I've realised I've been getting financially abused for some years. Due to kids and morgage we are currently still in the same house (and bed!), but I have already begun to be cut off financially.

My partner was/is the breadwinner and I stayed at home with the kids (reasons - job stability, childcare costs, lack of help from family). We both agreed to this at the time, but now I'm in a situation where I have no independent money, can't afford to leave (and don't want to leave my children anyway), but also because of my duties to the household can't quite look for a job yet (although I have founds ones to apply to and am desperate to start!) until the situation is resolved and we are physically separated.

My question is two-fold. What (if any benefits) could I apply for now and, harder to answer I imagine, do I have to continue playing "her indoors" with regards to cooking all his dinners and managing the household bills? I feel totally trapped and isolated and it's getting harder and harder.

poppy12345

As you live and sleep together you're classed as a couple and won't be eligible to claim any means tested benefits yourself.



If you have no money yourself how can you begin to be cut off financially?



How old are your children? If they are school age can you find some work while they are in school? Then you will be able to find somewhere else to live.


Such a difficult situation you're in and i'm sorry i don't have any other advise for you.

NedS

Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse and you should seek some proper advice and support. I would start by speaking with your local CAB to find out who and where your local support agencies are. They will help support you through this difficult period.

KatrinaWaves

Is he still paying the bills, mortgage etc? When you say no ‘independent money’ what are you needing this for, food or personal spends? Sorry to be blunt but what form has this financial abuse taken? You simply describe a one income household so far.

Many MANY women work and do ‘household duties’ You need to look for a job and help yourself find away out of this. Continuing to sleep in the same bed and cook the meals of the person who is leaving you will not help.