I am just staring my full time working life alone in a different town.

ncmscnc

I am planning on relocating away from a Deep South part of London to Northern Hertfordshire for a brand new career switch.

Surrounded by localites, I feel out of place.
No friends to ask my well being. No constant chatter about meaningless things all the time.

Compounding all this, at a ripe old age of 32, I am just starting my new junior career at 22k in an industry I switched into. Accountancy.

Strangely, the only department that hasn’t given me an onboarding induction is my department and I can’t even operate those smart WiFi copier machines. What ever happened to those press a button to copy photocopiers.

I haven’t fully moved yet. Commuting the long journey everyday and still looking for a place to move locally. People are young, brilliant, know the company processes and full of enthusiasm.

I am the opposite there, quite, know nothing about how the company operates and can’t even chitchat to save my life. Together with no driving licence, I just feel helpless with my bicycle standing in the rain in the middle of no public transport town, everyone whizzing past in their heated seats.

I am filled up-to the brim with blues now. I think getting a driving licence will give me some independence, self confidence and stability.

Sorry about the rant.

motorguy

The only way is up?

You've clearly made this jump for a reason

Give yourself time to settle in.

Long term benefits not short term gains

sazaccount

Have a look on https://www.meetup.com/ there is normally groups in a surrounding area which have similar interests, eg walking/cycling or science or just meeting in the pub

ncmscnc

motorguy wrote: »

The only way is up?

You've clearly made this jump for a reason

Give yourself time to settle in.

Long term benefits not short term gains

That’s a good way to look at it. Thanks.

Honestly, I nearly lost my perspective.
It’s just the nerves I think.

The only way is up. 😊

A_Phoenix_of_Tangerine

Chin up, it always takes time to settle in a new place. Start the chit-chat by asking colleagues about how their evening / weekend etc was, or what their plans for the evening / weekend are - people love talking about themselves, and by seeming interested, you'll glean snippets of info for future conversations. Before you know it they'll be reciprocating, and hopefully you'll make a like-minded ally or two.

Maybe see if there are any hobby clubs that you might be interested in in the locality too, to gain some familiarity of the area and people. Good luck, I've been in a similar situation and it does get easier!

Artytarty

You too are young and brilliant.

ncmscnc

A_Phoenix_of_Tangerine wrote: »

Chin up, it always takes time to settle in a new place. Start the chit-chat by asking colleagues about how their evening / weekend etc was, or what their plans for the evening / weekend are - people love talking about themselves, and by seeming interested, you'll glean snippets of info for future conversations. Before you know it they'll be reciprocating, and hopefully you'll make a like-minded ally or two.

Maybe see if there are any hobby clubs that you might be interested in in the locality too, to gain some familiarity of the area and people. Good luck, I've been in a similar situation and it does get easier!

Thanks
It’s probably just me not knowing how to socialise for the sake of it.

A conversation without emotional investment seems pointless to me but that’s how the world operates I guess.

I have already ruled out politics as no one seems to be interested in discussing their political identity. I don’t blame them, it has been a polarising few years anyway. I didn’t have time to read for the past few years and can’t discuss books for now. May be I can ask for recommendations or something about reading clubs. Then again I cannot drive, cycle only get me so far in small town setting.

I can envisage life is going to be a lot quieter compared to even zone 4 London.

ncmscnc

Artytarty wrote: »

You too are young and brilliant.

Ooo nice

suki1964

I done kind of the same at 42. Moved from London to Northern Ireland, right into the middle of nowhere, couldn't drive, couldn't get a work because I couldn't drive, knew no one, and to top it all Mr S still worked in London and commuted - 3 weeks there, one week here

So first thing first was I learned to drive. Took me a while and I often booked lessons around things like a trip to the hospital so I only had to pay a taxi one way

Soon got to know our neighbours and was invited to their churches ( not for me ) and we used the local pub when Mr S was home so started to make friends there. Soon as I got my driving test, I got offered a part time job in the pub, which further extended my circle of contacts

The first 3 years were hard on me, very very hard. Homesick, lonely, a complete change of lifestyle

Now this is home, I love it here, love my lifestyle. I do still sometimes feel lonely, new friends are great but there's no shared history where as here people went to school with each other, never moved away, whole extended families living in the same village it feels at times everyone is related to each other

Mind Ive been here 14 years now and Im now part of the furniture


Get your driving, and then when you do finally move, join in where you can, the Church if thats your thing, or a walking group or something where you get chance to meet people with some shared interests

worried_jim

I did it at 30 too! 16 years later I'm toying with the idea of moving again this time from Brighton to Cheshire, I could buy a three bed house for cash, be mortgage free and driving the silly cars I've always dreamed of. I also hate the office photocopier and long for the days when you could just rock up and print something!

Chin up, you'll get there in the end!

sammyjammy

I did it when I was 27, 300+ miles away from all I knew. It takes time to settle and if you are commuting this will be a big factor for you, you'll get sorted you just need to give it some time. You are better off out of London for sure IMO.