All becoming too much

wimbatel

Hi all

I'm not sure where to post this, but hoping there are some sympathetic people out there who may understand what I'm feeling like at the moment.
Since my late teens/early 20's I have suffered on and off with depression and anxiety. It's very much a roller coaster in that some days I feel great and other days I feel like I want to hide away. After a break up about 5 years ago, it all got to the point where I felt like I needed help and was really struggling with my emotions so went to the doctor. I ended up being prescribed anti depressants, which I did take for a while, but am no longer taking as I did seem to get better after a period of time.
I'm now finding things increasingly difficult again. I am currently selling my home and I think this is the main reason I am feeling like this. I always feel like i've been on the edge of sinking back into the old ways and this seems to have just pushed me over back into it.
I have been trying to sell my home since the beginning of the year. I have had two sets of buyers drop out on me, I am now on my third, very close to exchange/completion (this was supposed to happen two weeks ago but didn't) and I am seeing signs that it looks like things are going to fall apart for a third time and I will have to start all over again.
This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but for someone who is already susceptible to not being able to cope under stressful situations, it feels massive. Everyday, all day, I have a sinking feeling and knots in my stomach from anxiety, anxiety that this is all falling apart again and that I am going to have to go through the endless viewings and emotions that come with selling my home, for a fourth time.
I maintain a full time job but at the moment that is about all I do. I feel myself wanting to stay at home and hide away.
I am constantly worrying about what is going to happen with this sale and given the signs, it's not looking too good at the moment. That coupled with there being boxes everywhere, and my home currently having no real order, is adding to my anxiety and stress.
I really don't know what to do. Over the past couple of weeks as things were progressing with the sale, I kept telling myself these feelings would go away and it will all be worth it once I'm in my new home. But this looks unlikely now and it's really getting me down.
I'm not sure how to deal with this day to day, especially as I am in limbo not knowing what my buyers are doing.
Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading.

UKTigerlily

Hey and welcome to MSE!

I have no experience of selling houses, but have heard how stressful it can be. Remember, you can't do anything about the outcome and if you find yourself stressing over it, maybe try to distract yourself.

Did the Antidepressants help? If so, could you go back to the Dr and consider going back onto them? We do often stop them when we feel better, but the key is to stay on them (easier said than done, I know from my own experience)

Some others should be along with better advice soon, just didn't want to read and run x

[Deleted User]

House selling is very stressful, was for me anyway sent my anxiety through the roof. Thing is about anti depressant is you don't stop because you feel a bit better. They're not an antibiotic that cures you, you need to keep taking them for them to work. Go back to your gp and tell them your concerns. They may give you something that will work immediately on your anxiety around the house issues or put you back on the anti depressants that'll take a couple of weeks to kick in again.

warby68

Buying and selling houses IS stressful as there is no certainty until the very last second and you're on attempt number 3. Even if you weren't prone to mood issues, this would be getting any number of people down or anxious.

Go back to your GP and get some sustained help.

I would also put one room back to normal in your home while you wait, bedroom perhaps - so you have a haven.



A very simple trick is to do something nice for yourself every day - it doesn't have to be a social or costly activity but something that you like. A soak in the bath with a book, a walk in fresh air, a pampering treatment, a good coffee, a favourite TV show.

Doodles

Do you have any close friends or family that you are able to speak to/lean on?

House moving is stressful for anyone, but I can imagine the stress is harder to cope with if you have depression.

Definitely speak to your GP again though. Depression can be a very lonely place so please reach out to others if you can.

Pollycat

I agree with everything that has been posted above.
Especially about the medication. Maybe you don't need anti-depressants but possibly something for anxiety may be beneficial. See your GP as soon as you can.

My Mum is a worrier and no amount of me telling her that there's no point worrying about something that hasn't happened yet made any difference.
But it is true.

Unless your buyers have actually dropped out, please do try to stay positive.
Although it's probably not much consolation, you've weathered that storm twice before.
Could you ring the estate agents to find out what is happening with the house sale?
Bad news would be better - imho - than not knowing.

I hope it works out for you.

ska_lover

I hear you

Anxiety can feel so completely overwhelming.

Go to the doctors for anxiety meds.

It may not be antidepressents that you need but anxiety meds

jwil

You've had some great advice and going to the GP should definitely be your first step.

I'm not moving, but I'm with you on the overwhelmed feeling and feeling close to the edge, so I know how you are feeling.

Why not continue posting on here or write a paper diary to get all your thoughts and feelings out. I find it helps me organise my thoughts and get some perspective sometimes.

The advice to try and do something for you is very sound as well. Take some time out and do something you love. Try and get some fresh air too. It's worse for me with it getting darker now.

gizmo111

My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression and needs the meds and support from her GP.
The last 6 months or so she has found that 'hot yoga' has really helped in keeping her calm and helping her sleep, which in turn makes it easier to face the day without feeling so tired and overwhelmed.

wimbatel

Hi everyone

Thanks for all your replies.
You have provided some good advice.
In regards to the meds I was taking, I did take them for a period of about 2 years and a joint decision between me & my GP was made to lower the dosage gradually and then come off them. I have been off them for almost 2 years now.
I think trying to do something small and enjoyable everyday is a good start to at least help me feel a little better for a short period of time.
I think the biggest thing is trying to keep my mind occupied and off the house move, which is proving to be really difficult as it is everywhere I look at the moment.
I have always been a worrier, when something is up in the air and I don't know what's going on I find it very difficult to deal with.

Artytarty

The thing that stood out for me from your post is that you got through the awful sale falling through stage twice before, YOU are the proof that you can do it again.