Another fine mess...

EverTheOptimist

Evening everyone.
So it’s time for a diary... I’ll apologise now as it won’t be very interesting but I need to record what’s going on in my head so I can keep track and refer back to it. And also be accountable for my spending.

I joined MSE many years ago and have had debt for pretty much the whole time, I did almost get rid of it but now it’s back with a vengeance and I need to do something about it. I’m fed up of overspending, living a millionaires lifestyle, (I’m so not a millionaire) and worrying about paying the end of month direct debits. Oh and we shouldn’t be struggling as we’re both on good wages.

So I’m going to get the kids to bed and come back with a breakdown of debts etc

Thank you if you got this far...

ETO x

FootyFanDan

Hi, I just wanted to wish you luck on your journey, the 1st part is normally the most painful as you find out what you have spent and where and its a shock to the system. I speak from my own very awful discovery but once you have a idea of where it goes you can work a plan to fix it.

EverTheOptimist

Thanks FootyFanDan. I have probably been in a bit of denial so it won’t be pretty reading when I get it all together.

The more I’ve been thinking about everything tonight the more I’m concerned with my overspending. My debts are being serviced monthly so I know they’re being paid and I’m not in a position to overpay those. My 2 main areas of overspending though are groceries and clothes.

So the debts
Bank of mum and dad - £18,000 @ 0%. Now £11,600.
Loan - £6000. Now £4380
Store account - £550
Credit card - £950 @ 0%
Total - £17,480 :eek: :mad:

I’m so upset and angry at myself.

Other debts include mortgage and joint loan but our financial set up isn’t straight forward so I’m not considering those at his stage.

Louoffofsparkle

Now is the time to make yourself a plan and get it done. This is hard, the being honest with yourself. But it’s so worth it.
That store card has to go.
That’s definitely the first thing to get rid of and close it.
How long is the 0%on the cc?

Get your soa done even just for yourself- I didn’t post mine but it helped me see where I was wasting money. It’s hard writing it truthfully rather than what you wish it was!

EverTheOptimist

Louoffofsparkle wrote: »

Now is the time to make yourself a plan and get it done. This is hard, the being honest with yourself. But it’s so worth it.
That store card has to go.
That’s definitely the first thing to get rid of and close it.
How long is the 0%on the cc?

Get your soa done even just for yourself- I didn’t post mine but it helped me see where I was wasting money. It’s hard writing it truthfully rather than what you wish it was!

Thanks for your reply Louoffofsparkle.

I've made the number one mistake and that was getting the credit card so as to get rid of the store card and then continued to spend on the store card.

I need to get the details for the debts in terms of the APR for the store card but probably around 25-30%.
I think I probably have another 12 months of 0% on the CC but there's a good chance it won't be paid off in that time.

I also have a basic SOA which covers my income and outgoings but not my husband. I don't want to use this forum to air marriage issues but I do have issues around our financial situation which may or may not come up here.

The basic situation is that I work part time due to childcare, OH works full time and away from home mon- fri

We both pay an amount into a joint account and this covers the mortgage and most household bills, just. Then whatever we have left is our own to spend. However I come out with basic £1800 up to £1950. OH must come out with around £3000 I don't actually know exactly. I'm aware this is a lot in comparison to others but we have lived beyond our means for a long time and we now have 2 children and the expenses that come with them.

Anyway will put together my basic SOA on the next post, so I can see it in black and white too.

EverTheOptimist

So a very basic SOA

Basic wages - £1800 usually work extra hours so normally come out with £1950 ish

Mortgage / bills - £500 (into joint account)
Joint savings - £100
Union - £20
Life insurance - £15
Contact lenses - £20
Mobile phone - £20
Charity - £5
Loan - £135 (finishes Jan 2022)
Car ins - £25
Store account - £50
Mum - £200 (finishes July 2024)
ISA - £60
Savings - £110 Christmas / birthdays
Savings -£100 misc expenses - car etc
Food / petrol - £450
Misc spends - £100 - some of this is usually used to top up food/ petrol
CC - £25

Total - £1935

If I earn less than my outgoings then I reduce what I pay into savings.

Savings is normally dipped into through the month which is what I'm desperate to stop. I know I overspend on food and that I said my first area to tackle.

I have started to meal plan, and use up food much more but dinners don't tend to be the issue, it's snacks and fruit that eat into my budget.

Our joint account is really bad at the mo, £300 overdrawn and no way to get it back into the black at the mo. And no joint savings at all.

EverTheOptimist

So this week my plans are

Today - work, salmon fishcakes for tea. No spends
Tuesday - work, spag Bol for tea, need to buy birthday card and put £10 in for friends 10 year old birthday.
Weds - work, beef casserole for tea, no spends
Thurs - day off, take my little one swimming, need to buy some decs for Halloween party I arranged prior to this lightbulb moment. Have seen cheap decs in B&M and Amazon so hoping to keep to a minimum. Need to buy anniversary card for OH and gift!! Will need to top up fruit and brioche. - chicken breast and veg for tea
Fri - work, pizza for tea. No spends
Sat - usually food shop but will meal plan as much as possible with what's already in.
Sun - take my little boy swimming, out for MIL birthday lunch. No spends

So spends for the week
£12 card and money
£20 Halloween decs
£30 card and gift for OH
£5 food top up
Total - £67 which is about £50 more than I want to spend.

GDB2222

Can you really get spending down to £17 per week?

Can OH contribute to the family food bill a bit?

If you're on your own five days a week, that's pretty tough. Is part of the spending to compensate?

EverTheOptimist

GDB2222 wrote: »

Can you really get spending down to £17 per week?

Can OH contribute to the family food bill a bit?

If you're on your own five days a week, that's pretty tough. Is part of the spending to compensate?

Hi GDB2222

Thanks for your reply.

I don’t think I can do that little each week but with more planning I could definitely have been looking at spending less this week. And generally I think my weekly spending is too much so I need to think about what I’m doing.

I did bring money up with OH over the weekend and he seemed disinterested. I may have to just be blunt and say we need him to pay in an extra £100 per month. I think I need to reduce our grocery spend anyway.

I don’t think I spend to compensate I think it’s more that I’ve never fully adapted to being part time and have always had money/ spare money and now I don’t.

I’m more determined now and think I’ve had a proper lightbulb moment and realise this can’t continue. I don’t want to be 50 and still paying back loans and paying my mum back. I’m 42 now.
I look around the bedroom and the house and I don’t need anything else, we have all we need. And I’ve even started selling on fb to make a bit back.

GDB2222

IKEA famously said that they think we have reached 'peak stuff'. I look around our house and think we should have a big clearance, starting with my side of the bedroom, to set a good example.

I'm a bit worried about you cutting down on food. You need to eat healthily, and fruit is important. Maybe, cut down on brioches and have ordinary bread. We bake our own bread, but that's for taste, not to save money.

If OH is eating the food there's certainly a case for him contributing towards the food budget.

One saving you could make is on interest on the store card. Ask your mum if she will allow you two months without payments to her, and use the two months to pay off the store card. That then frees up £50/ month to make up the instalments to mum.

To be frank, you're not that badly in debt, compared to some of the people on here, and you and OH are earning well. It should all come right.

Starmummy

Hi, and welcome to DFD.

Your financial set up seems unfairly balanced on first glance. Your husband should absolutely be contributing to the food he and his child/children eat.

Make it your number one task to find out the exact rates on the store card and when your 0% expires. I'd be really surprised if the APR on a store card is "only" 25%.

I'm not sure from your post how many people there are in your household or how far you have to travel for work but £450 on fuel and food does sound a bit high given your husband is away most of the week. Where do you shop and do you meal plan?

Also- don't buy halloween decs. what a waste of your money- and not very eco conscious. Why don't you spend some time with the LO and draw pumpkins or do some themed potato prints. fun and cheap

Best of luck on your journey.
You will get there.