How will getting Married affect my finances?

[Deleted User]

YasmineA90 wrote: »

However this is where an agreed prenup that holds a little weight would come into it surely?
He is in agreement that he doesn’t want any of the houses worth if we were to ever split, as he would see it as taking away from his own children and carer. All we mutually want to do is get this in writing. He has no intention of ever wanting anything I’ve worked hard for and neither do I want to take from him

He might be in agreement now but who knows how he will feel in the future especially if the relationship goes south.

74jax

YasmineA90 wrote: »

However this is where an agreed prenup that holds a little weight would come into it surely?
He is in agreement that he doesn’t want any of the houses worth if we were to ever split, as he would see it as taking away from his own children and carer. All we mutually want to do is get this in writing. He has no intention of ever wanting anything I’ve worked hard for and neither do I want to take from him

You've changed your question from the OP quote significantly by adding in the fact you both agree to a prenup. Original question never mentioned this at all and was about what would happen in divorce.

If you want advice on prenups, I have one, then that is completely different to the question asked?

calleyw

The OP has not said where they live.


Pre nups with in england and wales are not legally binding according to here.


https://www.hja.net/are-prenuptial-agreements-legally-binding-in-england-wales/


So unless it has changed since Feb 2019 then a bit of waste of time.


Yours


Calley x

onomatopoeia99

DigForVictory wrote: »

Next of Kin

As always when this gets mentioned as a downside of not marrying, there are things to remind everyone of. First, 'next of kin' is not defined in law, carries no legal status nor any authority over treatment (as we would all hope, doctors make treatment decisions, not untrained members of the public), it is simply who the treating doctors will update on the condition of the patient, and second you can nominate next of kin on admittance to hospital, and/or carry a card nominating in case of being unconscious. This information can also be recorded with the GP.

Even if there is nothing to state an unmarried partner is the 'next of kin', the NHS does in fact live in the 21st century and is aware that there are many people in committed long-term relationships that are not formalised by a complex financial contract (marriage).

MissTigger

You've changed your question from the OP quote significantly by adding in the fact you both agree to a prenup. Original question never mentioned this at all and was about what would happen in divorce.

If you want advice on prenups, I have one, then that is completely different to the question asked?

I could go on for over an hour asking the many marriage and finance related questions I have. I may ask even more later on.
You’re implying that I’m changing and contradicting however I am not. I have gone from asking how marriage will affect me and finances, to bringing up my thought on a pre-nup that me and my partner have already discussed.

He has no interest in accumulating income and inheriting properties, he has said this himself and his attitude towards money only proves this. He didn’t even show any interest or motivation to inherit his parental home when left to everyone else. If left to us in the event of a split he wouldn’t bother wanting anything other than his personal items. It’s just that from what I’ve heard the courts take it into their own hands to cut things in half down the middle to give to you both. He and I don’t want that.

Mrs_Ryan

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

As always when this gets mentioned as a downside of not marrying, there are things to remind everyone of. First, 'next of kin' is not defined in law, carries no legal status nor any authority over treatment (as we would all hope, doctors make treatment decisions, not untrained members of the public), it is simply who the treating doctors will update on the condition of the patient, and second you can nominate next of kin on admittance to hospital, and/or carry a card nominating in case of being unconscious. This information can also be recorded with the GP.

Even if there is nothing to state an unmarried partner is the 'next of kin', the NHS does in fact live in the 21st century and is aware that there are many people in committed long-term relationships that are not formalised by a complex financial contract (marriage).

In theory.
However- when I was in hospital after my cancer operation, my now fiance was not allowed to visit me as he wasn’t family- he was classed as a friend despite the fact we had lived together for 7 years! I saw some women whose children could not visit as their unmarried partners were not allowed in and they had no family to bring them in.
When I was working in the hospital I saw someone die alone as their devoted partner was not allowed in as she was not family.
I also saw the case of an estranged daughter who had not seen her mother in many many years try and move a lady down to the other end of the country (the lady had dementia) which would have been massively detrimental to the patient’s health- just because she had more rights than the lady’s partner who had looked after her devotedly for years.
This is one of the reasons that me and my partner are having a civil partnership- just so we have some legal rights if the worst ever were to happen. In theory they should recognise unmarried partnerships but in practice they don’t always.

Comms69

YasmineA90 wrote: »

Thanks all of you for the replies.
As many of you have asked why I am thinking of marrying this man.
I am marrying him because quite simply I love him, he is a great father to our two children, and I wish to be a family with him properly with our children.

Equally, we aren’t doing the traditional “one pot” of finances, living in each other’s pockets. Otherwise giving gifts to each other isn’t exactly a gift, it’s just a mutual spend...
He wants to spend his money on what he likes and I prefer to prioritise saving for our kids future and for properties. It’s just one of our differences. Hence why it’s important we keep our finances separate!! - impossible, marriage makes it all 'one pot'
This question was simply asked to answer my questions on marriage finances. There are far many other aspects of our relationship that don’t involve around money. Money is not the be all and end all to me I just wanted clarification and I have that now thanks!

Your relationship may not revolve around money, but marriage, quite literally does.

YasmineA90 wrote: »

How does it sound like I don’t want to marry him? I’m merely asking about the effect on my finances. In this day and age I see more people, especially women, having more financial independence from their partners. - No idea what you're saying. MArried = joint finances. it's that simple I don’t want to be living out of his pockets and nor does he want to live in mine. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other and share a family, we both equally pay for our children’s needs, food clothes etc. we both can treat each other without it feeling like we’ve just bought something for ourselves. We both treat each other equally and equally can spend as we please without it being the other persons business.

MEM62

YasmineA90 wrote: »

he is a great father to our two children, and I wish to be a family with him properly with our children.

YasmineA90 wrote: »

He wants to spend his money on what he likes and I prefer to prioritise saving for our kids future and for properties.

In my view those statement contradict each other.

MissTigger

Your relationship may not revolve around money, but marriage, quite literally does.

Please tell me how?
Advice received from both my solicitor and online both say that debt incurred before becoming in a relationship are that persons sole responsibility. I will never be responsible for his debt, and as long as we never open a joint bank account or have both of our names on a mortgage together then please tell me how I will be forced to pay for something of his?

MissTigger

“
he is a great father to our two children, and I wish to be a family with him properly with our children.
Originally posted by YasmineA90
”
“
He wants to spend his money on what he likes and I prefer to prioritise saving for our kids future and for properties.

In my view those statement contradict each other.

How? We both have different methods of making and spending money. I feel I’m the more ‘cautious’ and ‘sensible’ with money, but that’s just my opinion. He does what he like with his. Doesn’t affect his parent skills or love for his children in the slightest.

I will never understand why asking simple finance questions regarding marriage causes people to turn so judgemental and rude.