How will getting Married affect my finances?

MissTigger

So basically I’m getting married next year.
Our relationship has a rocky history but we’ve made it through despite financial struggles, relationship breakdowns between us which we’ve overcome and had 2 kids together. I like to think we’ve matured since our rocky history and we do have a long stretch of being stronger than ever.

So what I want to know is, seing as I own a house in my name alone (only I paid the deposit and mortgage) and I earn the majority of the income, will I be responsible for his child of previous relationship? (Doesn’t live with us)

Will in the event of a split (hopefully never going to happen) will he automatically be entitled to half of my estate or would he have to apply and go to court for it?
He knows the house is legally mine now and doesn’t seem interested in owning it so I don’t think he would ever pursue it.

Will I be made to ever pay his child support to first child if his income drops/stops?

Will his debts and bad spending ever affect me since becoming married? I told him I’m never opening any joint bank accounts or mortgages.

Thanks

MEM62

It is very difficult to get married and for their to be no impact on finances. The real problem is that not every potential scenario can be foreseen and avoided.

You cannot be held liable to support his child if you are not the mother. However, his overall circumstances may be looked at in determining the level of support he is asked to pay.

No joint financial products and hence no financial link will minimise the impact. However, you cannot guarantee to be protected from the impact of his poor financial management. For example, if he is made BR the official receiver may consider that he has a beneficial interest in your house. The same consideration may also be made in the event of a divorce settlement unless you take steps to protect the asset.

Given the implied history and issues in your post, I am wondering why you are getting married.

TBagpuss

YasmineA90 wrote: »

So what I want to know is, seing as I own a house in my name alone (only I paid the deposit and mortgage) and I earn the majority of the income, will I be responsible for his child of previous relationship? (Doesn’t live with us)

No.
If the child livd with you then if you and he split it, the child might be a 'shild of the family' whose needs would be relevant to a finacial split betweeen you and your spouse, but you are not and will not be liable for child support.

Will in the event of a split (hopefully never going to happen) will he automatically be entitled to half of my estate or would he have to apply and go to court for it?

He wouldn't automatically be entitled to it, nothing is automatic on a divorce. He would however be entitled to make a claim against it, which would mean going to court unless you and he agreed. The longer you are together for, the more t likely it is that a cliamwould succeed

He knows the house is legally mine now and doesn’t seem interested in owning it so I don’t think he would ever pursue it.

An awful lot of people assume that their spouse won't do things which they they do end up doing if the relationship breaks down.

It would be sensible for the two of you to get a pre-nuptial agreement drawn up. It would not be legallybinding but it is evidence a court would take into account, and would protect you, particularly if you were to split early in the marriage.

Will I be made to ever pay his child support to first child if his income drops/stops?

No. Althoguh he may, of course, ask you to help him to support his child if he is not able to do so

Will his debts and bad spending ever affect me since becoming married? I told him I’m never opening any joint bank accounts or mortgages.

You are not liable for debts in his name unless you counter-sign any agreement or act as a guarantor, so a 3rd party can't claim against you.

If you and he were to divorce, a court looks at the whole finacial picture so could take into account any debt he had, in deciding what was a fair outcome.

Comms69

YasmineA90 wrote: »

So basically I’m getting married next year.
Our relationship has a rocky history but we’ve made it through despite financial struggles, relationship breakdowns between us which we’ve overcome and had 2 kids together. I like to think we’ve matured since our rocky history and we do have a long stretch of being stronger than ever.

So what I want to know is, seing as I own a house in my name alone (only I paid the deposit and mortgage) and I earn the majority of the income, will I be responsible for his child of previous relationship? (Doesn’t live with us) - No you aren't responsible for that child

Will in the event of a split (hopefully never going to happen) will he automatically be entitled to half of my estate or would he have to apply and go to court for it? - to get divorced you must go to court. They will decide
He knows the house is legally mine now and doesn’t seem interested in owning it so I don’t think he would ever pursue it.

Will I be made to ever pay his child support to first child if his income drops/stops? - no

Will his debts and bad spending ever affect me since becoming married? I told him I’m never opening any joint bank accounts or mortgages. - probably, but not definitely (in the sense that you're married, so I assume you would pay his debts)

Thanks

No idea why you're getting married to be honest - it doesn't sound like you actually want to

Cisco001

If you think about you may break up in future, why are you getting marry?

MissTigger

Thanks all of you for the replies.
As many of you have asked why I am thinking of marrying this man.
I am marrying him because quite simply I love him, he is a great father to our two children, and I wish to be a family with him properly with our children.

Equally, we aren’t doing the traditional “one pot” of finances, living in each other’s pockets. Otherwise giving gifts to each other isn’t exactly a gift, it’s just a mutual spend...
He wants to spend his money on what he likes and I prefer to prioritise saving for our kids future and for properties. It’s just one of our differences. Hence why it’s important we keep our finances separate!!
This question was simply asked to answer my questions on marriage finances. There are far many other aspects of our relationship that don’t involve around money. Money is not the be all and end all to me I just wanted clarification and I have that now thanks!

MissTigger

How does it sound like I don’t want to marry him? I’m merely asking about the effect on my finances. In this day and age I see more people, especially women, having more financial independence from their partners. I don’t want to be living out of his pockets and nor does he want to live in mine. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other and share a family, we both equally pay for our children’s needs, food clothes etc. we both can treat each other without it feeling like we’ve just bought something for ourselves. We both treat each other equally and equally can spend as we please without it being the other persons business.

DigForVictory

The way the law of the land is rigged, the children of the marriage are to be protected first second & third. Not wholly unreasonable. Asking you to pay for his previous relationships should not happen, but he may plead.

After two years of marriage you are presumed to be a single entity and thus divorce divides pretty much by who has the best lawyer. [Me, cynical? Hell yes.]

I am all for love & marriage and a stable family wherever possible, but if you are hoping to keep your house as yours if things go sideways - well, I wouldn't count on it.

Frankly, I'd go into this with at least one bank account not mentioned but then have to live with the ongoing deception & if it did all go sideways wonder if my mistrustful holdout had anything to do with it. Marriage can be a complete financial cr*pshoot, but trying to rig the money tends not to work terribly well in the UK. (Establishing Trusts for property for the children however is a fine old [slightly patriarchal but don't let that stop you] tradition.)

kangoora

Typically, after 5 years of marriage, this is generally considered to be the cut-off point from where ALL assets are considered to be joint - house, savings, pensions etc. In the event of a divorce after 5 years marriage then the starting point for division of assets is likely to be 50/50.

Now, it could be argued that you owned your home before you met him or had £xxxx in savings before the marriage but this would have to be tested in divorce court under a financial settlement if it goes that route.

It is entirely possible that 50% of your house, pension and savings would be awarded to him and you would get 50% of his assets of a similar nature. It's also possible that the 50% could be argued down (it sounds unlikely it could be argued up in his favour) so it could be a bit of a crapshoot where any division ends up. If you work on the basis that in the worst case you could hand over 50% of everything (gaining 50% of his assets) following a divorce and any less would be a bonus.

Personally, given your previously rocky relationship and the fact he sounds like a spendthrift and you are a saver type I would consider carrying on 'living in sin' indefinitely. You have no real way of guaranteeing the safeguarding of your assets after a marriage of a 'reasonable' length of time.

Your choice naturally.

DigForVictory

kangoora wrote: »

'living in sin'

sounds so judgemental, doesn't it?!
Mind you, 'shacked up to avoid messy disputes over money if things go awry' doesn't sound hugely better.

Have you considered changing your name to his, referring to yourself as Mrs but just not doing the paperwork? I know two perfectly happy couples who happen not to be married (although I think Brexit will see one head to the Registrar just to bombproof his childrens' dual nationality)

Downside is of course Next of Kin, Wills & all the other little legal assumptions that go with. There Ain't No Such Animal as 'common law marriage' & you both gain protections & loose them with the paperwork.

As kangoora says, your choice naturally. (Mind, the lucky man may be wedding-shy.)

74jax

Have you talked to each other about this? If you split up have you discussed who would get what? He may agree with you and I'm such case there's no issue.

Having children is a huge commitment to each other, what is it about being married you both want, as you live together and have kids already ?