Compassionate leave??

Secretxdays

Hi all
Just hoping someone might have some advice. My dad is presently in intensive care. He has been for 2 weeks but unfortunately now he is starting to deteriorate. Doctors are talking about keeping him comfortable.

I live about 100miles away from where my dad is so on Thursday morning when I found out he wasn't doing to well I decided to come up and be with him.

I told work when my dad first went into hospital that he was poorly and I took the night off on Thursday (I work permanent nights) to go up to the hospital to find our what was going on and see him.

I'm due back at work on Monday and tuesday night. I've being trying to find out about leave. The policy states there is bereavement leave for the maximum of 5 days in even of a dependant passing away. And then you can have 'reasonable' time off to care for a dependant, usually 1 or 2 days which doesn't fit either. All unpaid. I also can't use annual leave as they will only accept this if there is 4 weeks notice(I've already asked).

Do you think I'm entitled leave to be with my dad in his final days? Seems wrong to even be thinking about it but life goes on and so does the mortgage.

fIIsion

I would suggest having a conversation with your manager/HR department and see what options might be available for you.
As a manager myself I have dealt with similar situations and have either granted the leave or looked at special/domestic leave (which is unpaid) depending upon how much time is taken off.


I think given your circumstances that your company could be more flexible about the notice period for taking leave.

[Deleted User]

fIIsion wrote: »

I think given your circumstances that your company could be more flexible about the notice period for taking leave.

Interesting.

And what happens when others have requested to be off? when it impacts other day's off down to making others want to leave. I got into a no-win situation recently when I wanted to book leave, ended up as denied with the person who managed to get it off threatening to leave as a result !

Even on zero-hours nonsense, I'm expected to give 4 weeks notice when it comes to the wish to take holiday. When others are off same period holiday can be instantly denied.

fIIsion

Deleted%20User wrote: »

Interesting.

And what happens when others have requested to be off? when it impacts other day's off down to making others want to leave. I got into a no-win situation recently when I wanted to book leave, ended up as denied with the person who managed to get it off threatening to leave as a result !

Even on zero-hours nonsense, I'm expected to give 4 weeks notice when it comes to the wish to take holiday. When others are off same period holiday can be instantly denied.

I do not know the nature of the company or how many employees work there so this may be the case however I believe this is an exceptional situation where the OP wants to be with their Father who could be in his final days.
This really should not impact other employees who have already requested leave as the OP could have just gone off sick with stress.

warby68

I don't think you are 'entitled' to anything but a decent employer will view such situations reasonably and there will probably be informal, discretionary policies to cover it, especially in a larger company. In mine, it would be 'special leave' granted at manager's discretion, usually with a couple of days paid, then some unpaid and you would usually be allowed to take some annual leave as well. You might get a couple of days to start with and then be expected to check in and review where things are up to. Hopefully there will be something like that for you.

A chat with your line manager is the way to go

There is also sickness absence to consider - it isn't uncommon for stress like this to make you unfit for work and for a GP to agree.

Secretxdays

Hi everyone
Thanks for your replies. I feel scared to ask fot time off from this employer as they are really strict about things. A colleuge asked for annual leave for 1 day a week in advance for family issues and it was denied so really not expecting any annual leave.
I think the hardest thing is just not knowing when or really what's going to happen and that's what's making me want to be with him and I don't fèel I can face work. I'll try seeng if my line manager is in over the weekend. Thanks all

Tigsteroonie

Secretxdays wrote: »

Do you think I'm entitled leave to be with my dad in his final days?

Nope. No entitlement, unless there are specific options to do so in your contract or staff handbook. At my workplace, after the one "emergency day" (which you've had), you would either take it from paid annual leave or ask for unpaid leave.

As a PP said, consider the stress this is putting you under ...

Sea_Shell

How long have you worked there? Is it in a high staff turnover industry?

Blatchford

As others have said, you are not entitled to anything other than what your employer allows. It might seem harsh, but it's actually fairly standard stuff - paid leave for such events is actually not as common as people think, so your employers policy of unpaid leave is relatively standard. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but to be blunt the employer doesn't care about paying for your personal life. That's their position. It's many employers position, so in itself it doesn't make them bad. As soon as you make exceptions, everyone has an exception, so it's best not to make them.

Your only option is to go off sick. I am quite sure that in the circumstances any doctor would agree to this - but do bear in mind that unless you are too sick to work (and even if you are, to be honest) the employer knows what you have done - got a sick note because you were told you could only have unpaid leave under the policy. That may or may not come back to bite you in the future. But that may be a choice you are fine with - just be aware of it.

74jax

My dad died of cancer and I lived 60+ miles away and my brother about 80 miles but it took shorter amounts of time for him to get there due to motorways etc.

I wrote an email to my boss and HR giving the facts. I asked for a company lap top and mobile to be able to respond any thing urgent. I was turned down with both but might be an option.

I said I would come in to work as usual but wanted to let them know what was happening in my personal life.

I went over every night after work and then on the Thursday at about 9am got the call he had hours to live.

I switched my computer off, got up and left. I called my manager as driving over. My brother and I then spent all day Thursday, Friday, the weekend and Monday with him until he died the Tuesday.

You can't unfortunately pin point when it will happen, not even the day in some circumstances.

It helped my dad had talked to me at length about how he wanted me to remain at work, not talk time off to visit him, work to him was important.

I can't let advice as each relationship is different. But I wish you well in the coming weeks. You do not need to put extra stress on you at the time your parent is dying. You need to focus on you and your family, if that's what you want.

Talk to your work, and HR. Do you have savings should the worst happen, do you feel you could get a sick note? The death of a parent is the worst thing I've been through, but for me work helped me focus my mind.

Undervalued

As others have said there is no entitlement to compassionate under these circumstances, unless you have additional rights in your contract.

In fact, technically there is no legal right to compassionate leave under any circumstances!

Equally the legal right to "short periods" of unpaid leave, to provide or arrange emergency care for dependants, doesn't apply when they are in hospital or have died. Taken literally, under those circumstances the dependent is either being professionally cared for or sadly no longer needs care.

That said, I am sure the vast majority of "good" employers would be sympathetic and it would be a rare employer indeed that didn't allow some flexibility. All you can do is ask nicely and I would be surprised if a reasonable request was refused.