Countdown from £28k...

ryanm8655

Sarahwithlove said:

Could you hold off this month paying so much and then pay it once you know how you stand with tax codes. Maybe try work out how much you would get paid if emergency taxed and how much you need to survive the month and that should give you an idea as to how much to keep back and how much to pay off 

Again, very sensible advice, ha.

A week of my pay will be from my previous employer, so should be fine, plus I should get around 13 days holiday pay too, though also anticipating a bit of a balls up there, so will assume that isn't paid. Will do some calculations based on the proportion of my new salary being paid with emergency tax and see how things fall. But I will be paid enough to cover outgoings anyhow, it would mean underpaying next month, if anything. 

Have got one more fragrance I can sell. Hoping to get about £90 for it but it's a not very well known niche fragrance so a tricky sell. I swapped it for another that I was struggling to sell just because I'd never tried it and the bottle is cool: https://www.fortnumandmason.com/franck-muller-crazy-hours-eau-de-parfum,-75ml-2193416. I don't mind too much if I can't sell it, since the fragrance I swapped it for was part of a bundle that I made a bit of profit on before selling the final bottle.

Sarahwithlove

Sounds like you should be OK then. Hopefully the tax issue should only be one month. Do you manage yours online at all using the government gateway? As you can add and end employment on it to speed things along. My dad does a lot of temp jobs and has a small occ pen so I do it alot for him. 

ryanm8655

Thank you so much for the replies. Have had a bit of an explosion. Ended up driving away and booking a hotel. Wasn’t in a good place, and have never felt so sad. Decided !!!!!! is the point if I’m not going to enjoy myself. Decided I’ll save my wages for a few months and make it a time to relax.

IrishSean

R, The living situation is a mind melter at times no matter who it's with, lol.
We've 2 belligerent teens and had planned to do the house up; my mate who's a tradesman said f it, sell as is and buy more of a forever home; the DW still wants to stay here but I'm now thinking he might have a point.

Some fun, all this 'life' !!!!!! getting in the DFW way...

😂😂😂

ryanm8655

Thanks for the reply. Haha, yeah you’re right re: living arrangements.

Have decided this month and next I’ll just pay the £600 DDs I’ve got set up and save the rest for rent plus deposit on a flat.

Booked into a spa for a couple of days to chill and reset. Put a sizeable dent in my budget but just needed my own space and a nice environment.

Now plan to get my own place ASAP while continuing to pay down the debt at a slower rate. Will push back the debt free date but should still be able to get rid of it quickly if I’m careful with money.

Because I have minimal savings I feel quite vulnerable in that I can’t just move tomorrow, so that’s why I’m going to build the savings pot. Then when I move I can use whatever is left to clear debt plus I’d sell my car and could put that towards the debts too.

In the meantime it’s time to get reacquainted with rightmove!

shoppingobsessed2020

Sounds sensible and sounds like it’s a much needed break,  I often joke that all I want for my birthday is a night away on my own in a clean tidy hotel where I don’t have to do anything.  Take the time and enjoy yourself (although not too much )the debt can wait a few more months as you’ve made tremendous progress and your mental health needs to take priority.

i think the plan would be stashing all your extra cash for moving, paying the minimums and then reassessing once you are out in your own place what the plan is going to be long term.  There is no point in making yourself miserable to pay it all back by a certain date.  Your mental health and happiness needs to come first and it’s been on the backs burner for a long time now.

Sarahwithlove

You've done well to last this long and made such a dent in your savings so if it slows down for a while that's not end of world as you'll still be making an effort to clear some debt and you'll be in better mind frame to budget then you were before you made this step. 

IrishSean

Sounds like a plan; i'm guessing there's not one of us has set an ambitious 'debt free by this date' and not had to tweak, revise or push back a bit. 
2 things; your level of debt is a lot less 'dangerous' than it was
Your mindset towards debt is completely different to 6 months ago; you've a plan and a goal to still clear it all. 
☝ what your suggesting is entirely reasonable  
(btw if anyone want's a few extended extra family members I can sell them some of mine...😂😂😂 as they say; it wouldn't be a family tree without a few nuts)

Smashingitnow

Awwww...take care! How are you feeling now? IrishSean makes such good points above...I'll add...making decisions consciously, weighing options is a world away from the head in the sand, don't open the envelope thinking that causes debt problems. The debt will still be going down anyways (think you're on some 0%APRs?). 
Also myself I have found in the last few months when I've been paying mine down heavily that there is a strain and stress as you are constantly thinking about the debt, trying to work out how to pay it even quicker, depriving yourself....the DDs is a good option as you don't need to think about any of this until you are ready to again. Though I hope we will still get the odd diary update!

ryanm8655

Hello all and thanks for your replies!

Feeling much better after the getaway. Have now joined the gym and am going every day and it has helped a great deal.

Gym is £32 a month but gets me out of the house and helps the stress levels. There's also a cafe there where I can chill and work if I need some space.

After some time to reflect and the positive impact of the gym I was thinking I could probably manage here for longer and to play by ear. But then yesterday had a moment where I had to leave the room as I felt the stress build I'm usually very laid back and chilled, I'm not really the stressed type, so it is definitely the environment. I got over it quickly but it was a sign that saving for the move is the best thing to do in the short term, so I'm sticking to that plan.

The situation is essentially one of the children gets bullied by a non-biological parent, not intentionally but it is horrible to listen to this poor child being constantly chastised and mistreated, particularly as I was in a similar position as a child. It got to the stage where I felt the need to call it out every time it happened, which creates even more tension. I'm not usually the type to butt in but I just felt I had to. The other parent (also non-biological - he's adopted - it's complicated) has also tried speaking to them on several occasions to change things but they just refuse to accept they are doing anything wrong...this has led to tensions in their relationship, plus health issues and COVID on top, so there is a lot going on...just to give a bit of perspective.

The good news is, I'm owed 13.5 days pay in holiday pay that I'll be paid in next months pay. Combined with the pay rise (paid at the higher rate from Monday) and what I'll save this month, I should have more than enough for the deposit and rent on my own place in London by the end of the month. The kids go back to school on Monday, which will alleviate a lot of the stress since the children won't be around to be shouted at and the house will be much quieter in general. This might make things a bit more manageable, particularly with the outlet of the gym. With that in mind I'll keep £5k in savings for the move and play it by ear. So October I will start paying £2.5k on the debts until I move. When I do move I'll likely sell my car, which will raise £1500 towards debts, moving will probably only cost about £3500 tops, so if I could hang on until December I'd still be debt free by then...

I'm still paying the £596 a month as things stand and everything is interest free for a longtime yet... Barclaycard currently stands at £2300 and the 0% ends in March but I currently pay £500 to that so it would be gone way before then anyway. The other two end in over a year.

Current debt total stands at: £10,501.45 all on 0% interest. Will hit the sub £10k mark on the 17th September going by DDs...

In summary:
- Pay £596/month until end of September
- Save £5k moving fund by end of September
- Up the debt clearance to £2.5k per month at the end of October until I move back to London
- Play the move back to London by ear